


Kick Em To The Curve

by Tia_Bites



Category: Horrortale (Fandom), Swapfell (Fandom), Underswap (Fandom), Undertale (Video Game), Undertomb (Fandom), underfell (fandom)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Horrortale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Swapfell Purple (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Undertomb (Undertale), Author Appreciates Comments!!, Author Has Given Up At Life, Both Swapfells, But She's Not Part Of The #HAREM, Cinnimani Esque Vibes, F/F, F/M, Horrortale Undyne Has Romantic Feelings Towards You, How Does One Consistently Plot, I Couldn't Decide Between Them Both, I Have Been Given Permission By Mod Addy To Add Undertomb Into This Book, Multi, Papyrus is an adult, Reader Is From Swapfell Gold, Reader Is Literally A Mess, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader Is Not Kris (Deltarune), Reader has female parts, STOP MAKING PAPYRUS BABY, Shout Out To CrabbyMaiden For Being A Boss Ass Queen, Slow Burn, So It's A Mix Lol, Thank You Mod Addy!!, The Author Regrets Nothing, Ugh, What The Fuck Is Writing, Your Swapfell Is A Mix Of Fellswap Gold and Swapfell Red, and pronouns, because that's what he's conically meant to be like smh, blue likes puns, canonical character portrayl, cash and red out here scamming the shit outta people, chaotic reader, edge likes EVIL puns, eventual polyamory, red doesn't like puns, stretch is a #softboi, that means he does ADULT THINGS, who will eat your icecream without asking and cry when he's caught, wine acts like an old man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24257164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tia_Bites/pseuds/Tia_Bites
Summary: One moment she was sleeping on the couch, the next, she was surrounded by multiple skeletons similar to her own. MC is a respected human who once lived in Swapfell, after living underground for little over a year she was given the title as an honorary monster, and joined the Royal Guard. Slowly, she climbed the ranks, and became Lieutenant Commander, and while she was a respected citizen within the monster society, she still had her flaws. One of her said flaws was the ungodly amount of just within her soul.
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Undyne (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 228
Kudos: 475





	1. I Spy With My Little Eye

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [THE ALPHA TIMELINE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19743544) by [Sh33tMeDead336](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sh33tMeDead336/pseuds/Sh33tMeDead336). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC, Sans and Papyrus are reunited.

“if you talk to me, i can help you.”

It had been three weeks since you had awoken in this hellhole, and day by day, things were not getting any easier for you. You were shat out of some sort of time machine, nearly beaten the shit out of the force captain, and weren’t even allowed to set foot out of the house. You were trapped, and not one of these strangers had the common decency to let you mourn about this predicament. How droll.

“do you like drawing? i can get you a sketchbook.”

This man, which you had dubbed Vanilla, was insistently bickering at you despite your obvious distaste for his very being. From day one, he was trying to make you open up about yourself, from your name, to your age, he even jokingly asked for your social security number! He was a menace to your very being, and you had a strong hatred for his horrific puns and practical jokes. While his mellow attitude was welcoming in terms of the rest of the household, he was definitely not your favourite out of the bunch – not as if you were truly picking favourites out of these walking, talking, kidnapping skeletons. It was simply a poor choice of words.

“not gonna talk today as well, huh? that’s alright.”

He was vastly different to your captain. While captain Sans was all about professionalism and cruelty within any sort of relationship, Vanilla was his polar opposite in every way minus general appearance. What irritated you the most about this incoherently pestering skeleton was the fact that he acted so darn understanding of your situation! It’s not as if he was the one that got dragged here against his will, he had absolutely no right to act as if you were so sensitive as he truly believed that you were. It made you sick.

“i’ll call you down for dinner later tonight. feel free to come.” Vanilla shrugged, pushing himself from the chair he had sat himself in. He turned back towards you, “or not. whatever is more convenient for you.”

Then you were alone once more, just how you preferred it.

The room you were situated in was about medium sized, you’d say. On the first day of arrival, while you were screaming and throwing a tantrum at the world around you, the skeletons known as Blue and Creampuff were debating on what sort of decor would be best for your bedroom. They truly believed that you would love anything they made for you, and had deduced from your current choice in clothing (aka your doggy pyjamas which had been gifted to you by Miss Muffet) that a feminine and girly room would be the best course of action for you. Now, you have to say, while it was an appealing looking room aesthetic-wise, you much preferred something a bit more toned down when it came to colour choices. The abundant amount of pinks, pale yellows and cutesie plushies were soul-crushing, and you craved for something other than love hearts and floral headdresses. Something that screamed “you”. Although, despite the allowance you were given when being told what you can and can not do, your pride would not allow you to stoop to such a level to actually leave your room for any reason other than going to the bathroom.

Throughout your many weeks of trapping yourself within these walls, not once had you heard a peep from either the captain or his moronic younger brother. At times you would hear the occasional shouts of protest from the elder, most likely about something idiotic, but it seems as if they had the exact same idea as your own: lock yourself away until you physically were unable. Your stubbornness was something you were known for back in the Royal Guard. Opposing to that, you were constantly hearing noises from the rest within the household, even during the late hours of the night and early hours of the day. In fact, it seemed as if the chaotic nature that was this domestic establishment increased tenfold the darker the sky.

Oh, the sky... It had been at the very least, seven years since you had been able to grace your view upon the rising sun. You could even consider yourself quite a lucky person to have been stationed within a room such as this one, as you had the front seat view to watch the bleak golden emerge from the murky dusk. The immense and absolute sight constantly reminded you every day that you are not in a place such as you were down below, where monsters were troubling and times were rough; it gave you hope. Something you had long lost. Sometimes, did you wake up within the darkest hours of day and forget where you were, saddened, only to realise that life could possibly not be as perilous as it once was. Those who have tried to interact with you seemed... passive, if not friendly. Vastly different to the many you had met back in your own world.

Enough of such deadly thoughts. As much as the monsters that inhabited this home seemed kindhearted, you knew that creatures such as them had no such capacity for human care and compassion. You had learnt that the hard way, through ill-advised training from your superiors, and general attitude towards others similar to your own. Personal experience of the measures they would take for you to achieve the perfected mindset and form has taken a toll on your comprehensive state.

A knock cuts you off from your meticulous mind, and you tense. It seemed similar to the knocking pattern of your captain, the same painstakingly powerful rhythm you had gotten used to while working beneath him, and yet, it seemed greatly too disturbed. Too perky. Not enough edge.

"I AM LEAVING YOUR DINNER OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR, MYSTERY HUMAN!" A grandiose, yet uncommonly enthusiastic voice announced. "CLASSIC HAD INFORMED ME THAT YOU KNOW TO COME DOWN TO JOIN US, BUT SINCE YOU HAVEN'T JOINED US FOR THE LAST THREE WEEKS, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD PREFER YOUR FOOD WARM INSTEAD OF TAKING IT TO YOU AFTER WE'VE FINISHED."

Blue had set the plate down, and from the shadow you watched from the door, he seemed to be shuffling in his place. "I DO WISH FOR YOU TO JOIN US AT SOME POINT. I WOULD LOVE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, MYSTERY HUMAN!" He had silenced for a moment, leaning against the door with a faint thump, "I HEARD FROM MY BROTHER THAT YOUR NAME IS MC. IS THAT RIGHT?"

Straining your form ever so slightly at the mention of your name, you decide to keep your tongue sharp and let him talk.

"WELL I'M GOING TO ASSUME THAT IT'S CORRECT (OR THAT YOU'RE ASLEEP) AND CONTINUE TALKING." Yes, please do. "DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES, MC? I ENJOY CROCHET, ALTHOUGH BLACK AND EDGE LIKE TO PICK ON ME FOR IT. I ALSO ENJOY A LOT OF 'MEXICAN' FOOD, SOMETHING THAT HUMAN FRISK HAD INTRODUCED ME TO WHEN WE FIRST ARRIVED HERE! HAVE YOU TRIED MEXICAN FOOD, MC?"

Not in a while, you'd say.

"I'LL HAVE TO MAKE YOU SOME CHURROS WHEN I NEXT HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO! IT'S THIS SORT OF... PASTRY THING... WITH SUGAR AND CHOCOLATE! IT'S!! REALLY BAD FOR YOU!!! ALL THE MORE REASON TO LOVE IT!!!!" A squeal of genuine glee escaped the monster. "PAPY HATES THE STUFF! SAYS THAT IT'LL ROT MY TEETH OUT. AND WHILE I KNOW THAT HE'S SIMPLY MAKING A GOOF OUT OF THINGS, I AM RATHER CONCERNED ABOUT THE WELL BEING OF MY TEETH! THAT'S WHY I'VE DECIDED TO MAKE A PETITION TO RID OF ENAMEL CRUELTY! I ALREADY HAVE THREE SIGNINGS!"

Oh. Oh God. That passion. Those terms! The pun! That was so... _cute_. Ugh.

"THOSE, UH, SIGNERS BEING CLASSIFIED OF COURSE." Blue mumbles inconspicuously. "IF YOU EVER WISH TO TAKE PART IN THIS CAMPAIGN, LET ME KNOW!! I'D BE EXCITED TO HAVE YOU ON BOARD!"

Then a call echoed from down below. It was shrill and inexplicably loud, from Creampuff, you presume. Blue stumbles in his place, before letting out a quiet 'heh-heh-heh', he seems flustered.

"FORGIVE ME, MX MC. I MUST BE OFF NOW." He informs you, "I DO WISH THAT YOU ENJOY YOUR DINNER. I'LL BRING YOU BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING."

And with muffled giggling and heavy steps, he was gone. After waiting a couple of moments, you slide off of the bed you resided on and peeked out of the bedroom door. With a quick glance, left and right, you put your gaze upon the plate that was left out for you. It was some sort of quiche, burnt, and seemed to be filled with what you hoped to be edible sequins. It was sparkly and all sorts of wrong, but after ignoring breakfast and lunch today, you knew that you had to eat something to keep your strength up, as much as you hated it. So, with a heavy heart and shattered pride, just like every day for the past three weeks, you slide the plate into your room, before slamming the door shut with intentional force.

You never noticed your starry eyed onlooker grinning around the corner.

* * *

The next day was no different to any other: Vanilla would come in and try to feed you breakfast, you'd spit it in his face and refuse to interact, and he'd eventually leave with a somewhat irritated expression.

But, for some reason unknown to you, he had left a couple of blank sheets of paper and a marker on the side, and while you itched for something to keep your mind occupied, you still had that lingering feeling of disdain towards the idea. You feel as if accepting his gift, you would essentially be breaking your moral code. Vanilla would be smug, glad that you would welcome his offering and believe to be “making progress” with you. Ugh.

Rubbing your thumb across your left wrist to soothe your heightening sensory overload, you glance towards the window across from you with a longing sense of emotion. If your captain wasn’t still hidden away within these walls, you would’ve escaped through said opening long ago, but while your orders still were unclear, you had no choice but stay situated within this nightmare, lest you suffer a fate worse than death. It was unfortunate, but it kept you buoyant to know that people of which you knew had been dragged here with you, at least you weren’t alone in this situation.

  
  


Although, you weren’t quite exactly happy to think about what would happen if you decided to give up this game of hermit crab. After three weeks of lonely thoughts and ceaseless sleeping, you were going crazy and craved some sort of interaction differing from that idiotic bonehead, Vanilla, and his engaging counterpart, Blue. You’d be humiliated to have given up after such a short time, but you knew that it was only a natural human instinct, as your kind were social creatures by default. You were certain that your skeleton compadres would be able to handle isolation for a much longer period: Papyrus was an anticipatedly reclusive individual, you were sure that he was enjoying the lack of work he would usually be doing by now. Not to mention captain Sans was one of the most tenacious and single-minded monsters you had met thus far, he could possibly last a couple of months until he had grown tired of his younger brother’s inertia and general vexatious antics. That thought didn’t suit you very well.

By the time that you had finished your existential dread, you had felt an ever growing need to release your bladder, and trepidation washed across you at the thought of having to leave your room once more. It was certainly unhealthy to keep in your pee, you already had set it off for a trip to the bathroom every other day, when in actuality you should be urinating a couple times each day. This sort of behaviour will take a huge toll on your health. Perhaps you should reconsider your ornery.

Stubbornness or not, you really needed to go at this point, and you had begun to feel sharp pains from your bladder as you moved.

With agony of mind, you creaked the door open to check if any wandering eyes were about, as you had learnt from experience that the one known as ‘Cash’ tended to travel through the hallway at this time to check up on some other housemates you hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet. Thankfully, there seemed to be no one about, and you were very grateful for said fact. Not only were you already embarrassed to need to go to the bathroom already, but you were not exactly in the most presentable of states (not as if you could really help your predicament, but you would’ve much preferred to be in your usual work attire rather than looking like a disgusting rat’s nest). 

As you traversed through the foyer, you couldn’t help but take notice of the crass decorative decisions. The carpet was a putrid colour of bright aqua and plum, zig-zagging together in all you could describe as a carnival ride of disgust. The texture was thin and snarled against your bare feet, indicating that it was rather cheap matting, something of which you would expect from such a low-class household. Not to mention the walls: vermillion? Seriously? Not that vermillion was a bad colour, not at all, you quite enjoyed vermillion, but the combination of blues, purples and reds made your skin crawl in creative aversion.

The rest of the furnishing was decent at the very least, sometimes you’d come across an appealing-looking bureau slack against the wall, and sometimes you’d have to grace your delicate little eyes against something of which you could only describe as a putrid display of uneducated craftsmanship. At the end of the hallway in which you walked through, there were paintings of flowers and bones and whatever you were sure they could find. Your eyes lingered on a duck illustration. It was cute. You were certain that captain Sans would be having a fit taking in the appearance of this area; you hoped he was doing well.

Finally reaching the bathroom, you steadily rushed in, before closing the door behind you. You lift the toilet seat up and pull your pyjama pants down, allowing your bladder to release and hissing at the somewhat painful sensation of leaving urine within a full vesica for so long. It was a relief, but you were dreading the eventual painful aftermath of the organ’s irritated pulsing.

The bathroom was small but satisfactory, and unexpectedly modern. The marble tiled flooring was clean enough to the point where you could see your reflection, the walls were painted a stunning shade of white (the baseboard and crown moulding being a glossy black), gleaming granite counter-tops, walnut framed mirrors, fluffy towels neatly arrange, silky bath mat, wicker laundry basket, basically all one could ask for. Although, you would’ve preferred a larger walk-in shower, something that you could practically get lost in all the while water cascaded down your bare skin. Damn, did you wish you could shower.

After flushing the toilet and washing your hands, you took another look at your matted appearance and decided to at least try to rid of the dirt on your face and comb out the knotted mess that was once considered your hair. Running the tap, you allowed yourself to cup the water in your hands and splash your cheeks with it, rubbing your face with the palms of your hands as you tried to cleanse as much as you possibly could. Some part of your mind tried to convince you to hop into the shower, but you quickly pushed that thought away. Following after finding your wettened face decent enough, you combed your fingers through your hair, getting irritated at the frizzy mess it becomes. It takes some time, but your hair finally flattens.

You grasped the door handle with a sigh and pull it open, only for your face to drop at the looming shadow masking your form. 

Papyrus.

It had been a while since you’d seen him. It’s been a while since you’d seen anyone other than Vanilla face-to-face. He seemed composed, but you knew better: he was nervous, he was always nervous, he just didn’t like to show it. A man in constant fear in everything around him, such a pitiful life to live.

“It’s been a while Papyrus.” You commented, blank, “What do I owe you the pleasure of?”

The mutt had paused, his bone bridges tensing, “M’lord wants ya.”

“Of course.” You sighed.

God, you were so glad. Knowing the captain, that means that he has some sort of plan towards how you will all escape this place and get home. Unless…

“Ya need a shower.” Papyrus informed you, his nose ridge scrunched up, “Ya smell mank.”

“I could say the same for you.” You shoot back, red-faced, “Although, you’ve always smelt ‘mank’, haven’t you?”

With a tiny wince, Papyrus turned away from you, form ridged and feelings hurt. “I’ll wait fer ya while ya shower.”

And wait he did. After he retrieved a towel from where you only can assume to be the pantry, you dried yourself off and detangled your hair once more, changing back into your pyjamas. You followed him through the hallway, ignoring the sharp gaze from Cash as you both strolled on by. He led you to a room, and from there on, things were only going to go downhill.

With a sucked in breath, you open the door.

* * *

  
  


“it’s been a while, lieutenant commander.” The acute tone of your captain droned.

Sans was a man of little words and yet many meanings. You had trained under him for many years, and with his harsh perception and unapologetic methods, you could easily say that you are lucky to not be on the receiving end of his treatments. Although, you were rather worried about his views of you at the moment - you had knocked him down at your first arrival here after all. For all you knew, he could’ve called you here to simply inform you of your execution date, but it was very unlikely.

Despite Sans’ unyielding cruelty and general apprehension against breaking code, he was still a very logical and understanding man - calculating, you could even say. He would be able to understand that the situation was a complete misunderstanding, and thus, the fear of receiving severe punishment was pushed back with the depths of your mind.

The room you were situated in was equivalently neat and set to a very high standard: the bed was made, the clothes were folded, practically everything was spotless, not even a speck of dust to be found. The walls were of candy apple, furniture laced with hints of gold and covered with lush silk cloths. It was a dream come true, and you couldn’t help but feel jealous of the smug uniformed bastard. How about he gets the baby room and you get this pretty one, huh?

Sans’ back was turned towards you, and you couldn’t help but notice the rows of alcohol bottles spread out across the window sill. Just as expected, he was sipping from a wine glass, like the absolute pretentious bastard he was.

“i’m sure you realise why i have called you here, lieutenant commander.” Sans divulged, turning his form towards you with a wide grin. “i have a pla- what the fuck are you wearing?”

“My pyjamas.” You blinked, “I was sleeping when we were brought here. Didn’t you notice before?”

“no! i-“ Sans spluttered in surprise, before regaining his composure. “i don’t pay attention to features such as that in tense situations.”

“Right…” You mumbled, before your mind returned back to the first day of your arrival, “Did it hurt? When I-?”

Sans cut you off with a loud noise of complete disregard, absolutely repulsed that you would even bring up such a question. 

“of course it didn’t! you have no trust in me. your weak fleshy parts have no power against my hardened bones, don’t give yourself too much credit.”

“Forgive me, sir.”

Silence spread across the both of you. The air was inexplicably tense.

“how long have we been here, lieutenant commander?” Sans questioned, now facing the window once more in an effort to appear villainous.

“I’d say about three weeks, sir.” You replied.

“in reality, it has been approximately three weeks, two days and seven hours since we have arrived, on the dot.” Chided the skeleton, “three weeks, two days and seven hours of hell.”

With a pep in his step, the heel wearing captain paced across the floor, furrowed brow bones visible on his face. His hand pinched between the area. You were in for one of his off-tangent rants, you believe.

“i have grown bored of this little solitaire charade, living alongside my bothersome younger brother in an attempt to gain the upper hand against those trapped within these walls. that idiotic vanilla copy of myself trying to ‘redeem’ me enough to leave the household. but you see, lieutenant commander, no matter the circumstance, captain sans always has superiority over those with little power. prestigious. domineering. ruthless. that is the image i have tried so hard to maintain within my years working alongside the queen, i shall not let some puny mongrels damage my perception more than they already have done by feeding me such beauteous supplements.

“we shall join this household for dinner tonight, and gain knowledge of our whereabouts.” Dictated Sans, a malicious grin spread across his bones. 

You raise an eyebrow, concerned as to where this was going. “Are you suggesting that we use their own information against them, sir? To leave?” 

“don’t be ridiculous, lieutenant commander. no, i know that we have no possibility of returning back to where we once came from, i am not idiotic.” Sans quipped, “what i am suggesting is that by making ‘friendships’ and gaining knowledge about the basic principles of this world, we shall be able to…”

“‘kick them to the curve’, as they say.”

A snarky smile spread across your face while your soul flickered in excitement. “Sneaky. I like this plan.”

“indeed.”

With a swift flick of his scarf, Sans dramatically revels in the shadows of the room, his eyes of flames burning through the murky darkness.

“prepare yourself. dinner starts at 7pm sharp, we shall band together ten minutes before then and discuss. every morning you should report to me with what you have found, that information of which holds no particular value, as if we wish to carry out this plan to its full potential, we must allow ourselves to engage in conversational topics.”

A fitting speech for a comical narcissist such as himself.

“Seems like you’re touch starved or something.” You teased lightly, amused by his immediate red face.

“nonsense! you’ve gotten too cocky, lieutenant commander. full of yourself.” Argued the flustered captain, his eye lights darkening. “we’ll have to work on that.”

“Of course, sir.” You smiled, amused.

“are you even paying attention to me?!” Reprimanded the grumpy skeleton.

“Yes, sir.” You affirmed.

“repeat what i said then!”

“The plan or my cockiness, sir?”

“whatever! get out of my sight.” Sans scoffed, hiding his face from view. “and fix your hair! you know i prefer your hair dry!”

“Of course, Captain Sans.” You acknowledged.

As you noted that the conversation was officially over, you took a quick bow, knowing that Sans was no longer facing you but also understanding that he would expect the respect anyway. During your escape, you gave Papyrus, who was standing outside the bedroom, blocking the path of any nosy tikes, an appreciative glance, ignoring his blank stare towards you. You headed back towards the bathroom. You had your appearance to fix after all.

Thinking over the event that just occurred, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of warmth. It had been a while since you had seen Sans, you were glad to know that he held no ill will towards you battering him down, but you were saddened to know that there was no way you would be able to get home. Or at least, that’s what Sans hinted to you. You knew that Sans was most likely beating himself up over this, you knew oh so very well that he had most likely teleported to where the machine was held and tried his very best to figure out a solution. He was a smart man, incredibly intelligent to the point where you could even consider him one of the smartest men alive. The fact that he wouldn’t even consider trying to return home says a lot.

Unless he simply wishes to stay above ground, but that was a thought you’d rather push away.

For now, you simply had to improvise. It had been a while since you had spoken to people who weren’t in for the kill. Or were they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC: I am a bitter reader of which had to climb all my way to glory from the very bottom of the food chain, only to be thrown into a fucking harem fanfic.  
> Blue: -offers to make churros-  
> MC: This isn't as bad as I thought.
> 
> Welp! That's chapter one finished! Make sure to hop into our discord or check out my tumblr for KE2TC content! Also please please please leave comments - I want to be assured that people are actually reading and enjoying this story! I'd rather not be writing to a brick wall lol, this was meant to be read by others after all :))
> 
> Beta Read by Glitterbug on our Discord. (Join our Discord oh please join I'm so lonely)


	2. Watch Your Microaggressions, Bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans, Papyrus and MC have dinner with the household.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say a quick thank you to user CallMeKeef for being the very first to join our Discord! AND FOR THE OVERWHELMING SUPPORT FROM EVERYONE!! I AM BLOWN AWAY AND TEARY-EYED, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!

Blue was ecstatic to say the least.

  
  


It had been several years since he had been thrown into a world such as this one, with people he knew, and yet also did not. It was tough, as while he was a big fan of the idea of a large family (as a full household equalled a happy household in his eyes), he was rather intimidated by the many versions of himself that were deemed dangerous.

  
  


Blue only wanted to feel free and happy, he was above ground after all, he wished to savour his time here like it was the end of his days. Yet with all of these negative monsters around, he was feeling more and more like a prisoner.

  
  


Well, that was until the newest members of the family had joined. The first two that arrived were a duo of skeletons, one of which was similar to Black yet very different - more refined, should he say. While Black was a lot more chaotic and easily angered in nature, it seemed as if this new Sans was much more calculating and composed. The Papyrus seemed to be very similar to Blue’s own brother, but seemed to have a spurious air of confidence around him, and golden braces that held a similarly golden fang.

  
  


Blue hadn’t thought much of it when they had begun to attack Vanilla. After all, it was what many had done when they had first arrived. But when the newer Sans had run towards something Blue instantly recognised as a sleeping human woman, things had turned for the better.

  
  


He had learnt from Vanilla, who was the one trying to integrate the group into the rest of the household, that the person’s name was MC, and that they were seemingly part of the Royal Guard. How a human could be made into a guard in such a universe was unknown to him, but what was known, was that Blue finally had someone new and interesting to talk to and possibly befriend! So, as such, he had begun leaving out plates of food on the empty seat next to him, hoping for them to finally come down and eat with the rest of the family. Of course, it seemed as if they were too shy to do so, so after three weeks of waiting, he decided to simply leave the plate outside their room while the food was still warm.

  
  


Blue had a lovely chat with them. Admittedly, it was one-sided, but it was still a relief that they had finally had the opportunity to hear his voice. That meant that he was most likely one of the people they would go to after they finally came out of their shell! He was especially giddy when he saw them actually take the dinner he had made for them.

  
  


They seemed reclusive. Probably because they were in a new place, without those they were close to. Blue knew very well how scary that was, but at least he had Stretch when he first arrived. It seemed as if MC and the skeletons they travelled with weren’t all that close, as not once had any of them tried to interact. Blue couldn’t help but wonder why, as it was strange that their Sans would rush to check on them when they had first arrived, only to completely ignore them existence a while later. Did something happen?

  
  


Either way, Blue was happy to finally get a good look at they. When they had arrived, Red had quickly whisked him and Creampuff away while the rest of the household tried to handle the situation (admittedly, he was a little bit upset about that). They were a lovely-looking human, very mild in image, and wore cute doggy pyjamas that almost made him squeal at their adorable nature. While they did look a bit scruffy, their hair matted and incredibly greasy, and their odor something he could smell from a mile away, Blue knew that it was simply due to their unyielding fear of leaving their room. He wished to change that, no one should feel afraid of anything in his presence.

  
  


He was the supreme Sans after all! He could do anything he puts his mind to. - Well, the supreme Blue now. But that didn’t sound as good, he needed to find something that sounded easier on the tongue.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


You were nervous.

  
  


Well, not necessarily nervous in the sense that you were fearful, but you were definitely a little bit irked nonetheless. Sans had lectured you on how to properly join in a conversation for about ten minutes, and Papyrus wasn’t being any better, poking and prodding you when your eyes weren’t on him, trying to get on your nerves, and overall just being a genuine nuisance. Your hair was still a mess and the fact that your pyjamas still smelled of stale sweat even after you had scrubbed yourself down with an abundance of soap suds made you feel rather insignificant in the eyes of others. You needed to acquire some new clothes, asap. If only your guard uniform had been transported with you.

  
  


With an astute perspective, you followed behind your captain as you entered into the hallway. Papyrus was hobbling along, albeit slowly, but ensuing nonetheless. As you all sauntered down the staircase, you could hear the emphatic chattering slowly come to a stop as your footsteps became heard to those seated at the dinner table. You had rounded the corner, and all eyes settled on you - well, more like your skeleton compatriots, but around the same area nevertheless.

  
  


“YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.” One skeleton had spoken, cutting the silence that was once immensely cold.

  
  


It was the one you had learnt to be called Edge. He was a rather bleak and sinister version of Papyrus, but a lot similar in personality to your captain. You had a feeling as if he wasn’t very happy with your arrival. Unlike the few that seemed rather displeased with your appearance, the ones you assumed to be Creampuff and Blue were rather ecstatic, screaming in bliss under their breaths. It confused you as to why they were so happy, but you pushed your thoughts away as soon as your captain spoke up.

  
  


“before you all jump to conclusions - no, we are not here to cause havoc. we do, indeed, wish to spare you from our - or rather, my - destructive capabilities and… ‘befriend’ you.” His hand was raised in a passive manner.

  
  


Silence swept upon the room, and you held back a gulp. Papyrus seemed similarly nervous, as he had begun to chew on his hoodie strings. If it would have been any other situation, you were sure that Sans would’ve been screaming at him to stop, as his biting habits were what caused him to need braces in the first place - but this was a rather tense scene. Sans was as composed as ever.

  
  


A sharp, high-pitched screech escaped a chair as it was pushed backwards ever so slightly. A skeleton in deep purple armour stood across the room in a position that was most definitely not friendly.

  
  


“IS THIS A JOKE???” He challenged.

  
  


With a faint frown of exasperation, Sans avowed, “excuse me? i don’t joke.”

  
  


“YOU’RE LITERALLY ME! WE’RE FROM A SIMILAR FUCKING UNIVERSE - PRACTICALLY IDENTICAL! YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING UP YOUR SLEEVE! I MEAN, AFTER WHAT, WEEKS??? OF HIDING, YOU DECIDE TO BEFRIEND US AND THROW AWAY EVERYTHING YOU’VE ACCOMPLISHED? BROTHER, BACK ME UP HERE!” Bellowed the skeleton, turning towards a Papyrus similar to your own, but wearing purple garbs.

  
  


“Whatever. I don’t really care.” Said skeleton Papyrus shrugged, his tone lax yet provoked.

  
  


Edge cut in with an impassioned tone, slamming his hands down on the desk and causing cutlery of all types to shake at the motion. “I AGREE WITH THE TYRANT! AS A MONSTER WITH A SIMILAR MENTALITY TO HIS OWN, THERE IS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING AWRY! TELL ME, CRETIN, WHAT SORT OF BULLSHIT ACT ARE YOU PLANNING?”

  
  


Sans folded his arms together. He quipped, “i am planning no such orchestration. the fact that you would even dare mention such a heinous act offends me to no end.”

  
  


Creampuff stood from his seat, noticeably anxious as to where this conversation was going. You couldn’t blame him, as you were gripping your arms due to the fear of having to engage in an encounter without any of your weapons. Once again, darn the sudden transportation.

  
  


“NOW NOW, EVERYONE, LET’S JUST CALM DOWN! WE CAN HAVE A MOVIE NIGHT IN CELEBRATION! HOW ABOUT WATCHING FULL HOUSE???” He questioned with a distressed smile. The air throughout the room conspicuously calms.

  
  


Blue cuts in with a frown, “WE WATCH FULL HOUSE EVERY DAY THOUGH, PAPYRUS!!”

  
  


With starry eyes, he bounced in his seat. Patting the one next to him in a way of beckoning you over. His adoring gaze made you feel uncomfortable.

  
  


“HUMAN MC! COME SIT NEXT TO ME!! I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU!!!” Blue jabbered.

  
  


Your frown grew when you became the centre of attention. The breath caught in your throat, and you peered at your captain for guidance on how to turn him down. With a raised brow, he nodded towards the chair in a way of trying to imperceptibly order you to take a seat and be friendly, something he knew you were very opposed to.

  
  


“go ahead.” He grumbled, eye light glowing as he held your gaze.

  
  


With a complacent huff through your nostrils, you head on over towards the grinning skeleton with skeptical foot steps. As you took a seat, his grin widened and he did some sort of shaking motion that you pinpointed towards being eager to involve himself with you.

  
  


“you edgy assholes going to sit or what?” The one you assumed to be Red growled, leaning his skull against the table as he used his magic to float the food towards him.

  
  


Sans’ left eye twitched, before he let out a hefty sigh of tire, the effects of this conversation already wearing down on him. “of course.”

  
  


You were sat in your respective seat, a couple chairs down from your skeleton allies, Blue on your left, vibrating, and Creampuff to your left, grinning wildly at this friendly display. Next to Sans was the one known to you as Cash, who was eyeing him up with an incredulous eye, something of which you were sure that Sans was very aware of. Papyrus on the other hand was sat at the end of the table so, rather, he was across from Vanilla, one of the more mellow of the household - you were certain that this was a decision made by Sans to help protect his brother in case of anyone attacking him.

  
  


Tearing your eyes away from the skeletons, you darted them down towards what was in front of you: some sort of… soup concoction, thick lumps floating around the bowl, alongside long strands of spaghetti. Hopefully the orange juice was decent. The smell was putrid.

  
  


“DO TELL US, FRIEND, WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO COME DOWN AND JOIN US FOR DINNER TODAY?” Creampuff inquired. You took note of the fact that he was eating oatmeal instead of whatever everyone else has been given.

  
  


“EVIL REASONS!!!” The purple skeleton bellowed, cutting off what Sans was about to say. Thankfully, he was back in his seat.

  
  


Sans rolled his eyelight, “as i have said: we wish to be on good terms with those within this household. after all, we shall be living with you for a while, yes?”

  
  


A warm smile grin across Vanilla’s face, and you flinched as the food on his plate suddenly disappeared out of sight. “‘m happy you came down then.”

  
  


With a clap of enthusiasm, Blue turned towards you, “SO AM I! THAT MEANS THAT WE CAN ALL GET TO BE GOOD FRIENDS!! RIGHT, HUMAN MC?”

  
  


Jabbing at the amalgamated substance in front of you with the prongs of your fork, you cringed as one of the blobs fell apart under the contact, revealing some sort of slimy insides. You felt queasy.

  
  


“Right.”

  
  


An uncomfortable silence spread across the dinner table, many plates disappearing suddenly without a trace, including Blue’s, a spectacle of which he had caught wind that you knew about. A tense grin spread across his skull as he noticed your stare. You still hadn’t touched your meal - in fact, you were fairly certain that this dish would either give you some sort of poisoning or kill you. You were hoping for the latter, as you’d rather be dead than have such a horrific texture and taste in your mouth.

  
  


“What’s the deal with yer weirdass bro?” Cash grumbled, looking up from what you only assumed to be a new brand of smartphone.

  
  


Blue’s brother, Stretch, who he was sat next to, jabbed him with his elbow and gave a warning glance. “Oi.”

  
  


“What? It’s just a question.” Cash commented, raising his hands in mercy.

  
  


Sans exhaled, taking a long sip from his glass. “apart from his comprehensive limits and overall abominable nature, not much. dare i say, he has been rather decent since our arrival here. right, brother?”

  
  


Papyrus jutted his head up at the mention, showing a face covered with the slop that was fed out to you. You gasped for air at the display, and shocked looks came from the rest of the table, some disgusted, some amused,

  
  


“Yesh.” Papyrus enunciated, a lisp in his voice, before slurping up the rest of the food from the bowl.

  
  


“see? perfectly fine.” Sans recited, trying to hide the cringe on his face.

  
  


At this point, conversations other than the one that was currently taking place came to unfold, and you were honestly incredibly glad. You didn’t want to be under fire your whole time at dinner.

  
  


“And the human…?” Cash squinted at you, eye light blazing. You tensed under his gaze.

  
  


Sans, with the slam of his fist, barked back at the frugal skeleton, “‘the human’ is my second-in-command, good sir, and i would appreciate it if you labeled them as MC or lieutenant-commander instead of whatever you currently have in mind.”

  
  


Cash went silent, before tutting, going back to whatever he was doing on his phone, his brother warily watching the situation unfold. Trying to ignore the prying gazes of those around you, you tensed, and return to jabbing at the dinner before you, gagging at the… fish? Mush? Whatever it was.

  
  


You visibly recoiled as Blue jumped into your personal space, eyes glimmering. “AUDIBLE GASP! - YOU’RE PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD IN YOUR UNIVERSE, HUMAN MC? WHAT AN INCREDIBLE FEAT!”

  
  


“OH YES! PLEASE DO TELL US EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!” Creampuff clapped.

  
  


“PEH! WHATEVER.” Edge tutted, his plate clean.

  
  


“TO THINK THAT A MONSTER SO SIMILAR TO MY OWN IMAGE WOULD-” Cash’s brother droned, instantly getting cut off by your regimented tone.

  
  


“My image as Lieutenant-Commander is an accomplishment I hold higher than anything life can offer me. I climbed myself from the very bottom to the place I am currently at now. It took me years to gain the respect I have today, I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Was all you said, revealing much, and yet, saying absolutely nothing at all.

  
  


It was an appeal you had rehearsed since the very beginning of your role, something you would say rather often to the curious monsters around you. As there were, in fact, many that wished to know how you had managed to convince not only the Queen, but also the captain of the Royal Guard to let you stay underground without much trouble. Of course, the Queen, captain Sans and your (now) inferior, Alphys, knew of the premise, but you had never allowed anyone other than those three to delve into your past.

  
  


With a smug grin, Sans turned to the rest of the table, leaning his arm against the furniture. “they wouldn’t change it for the world.”

  
  


Blue turns towards you with a beaming smile, “THE ADMIRATION I HOLD FOR YOU HAS SKY-ROCKETED, HUMAN MC! NOT THAT I HAD MUCH ADMIRATION FOR YOU ANYWAY THOUGH, SINCE I DIDN’T KNOW YOU BEFORE.”

  
  


Ouch?

  
  


“DO YOU WISH TO MEET MY SHEEP FRIENDS TOMORROW? I WOULD ASK FOR EWE TO MEET THEN AFTER DINNER, BUT IT IS RATHER LATE.” He continued, and you tried to ignore the pun he had just made.

  
  


“No.” You echoed, disregarding the instant flash of hurt that spread across his skull.

  
  


You would rather not involve yourself with anyone so soon. Friendly banter is perfectly fine, but being alone with a monster which could very easily try to harm you? That was something you were not currently comfortable with. Perhaps at a later date when Blue had proved himself as harmless or incapable of negative emotions towards oneself.

  
  


“OH…” He had murmured, turning back towards his empty plate with a look of genuine disappointment.

  
  


Noticing the negative aura, Creampuff caught everyone’s attention with a hearty cough, while you decided to finally try and take a chance at eating the dinner laid before you.

  
  


“DOES EVERYONE ENJOY THE DINNER? MC? NEW SANS? NEW ME?” He questioned, looking towards Sans hopefully.

  
  


Sans visibly shuddered, a frown taking over his skull as he poked and prodded at the unique substance. “yes, it’s rather… unique, shall i say.” 

“THANK YOU! IT’S A NEW RECIPE!” Creampuff bellowed with joy, watching you take a hesitant bite of the noodles, “CURRY SAUCE, FISH FINGERS AND PASTA!”

Suddenly, the rancid taste of undercooked yet burnt noodles settled into fish and curry overtook your senses and it shot right back out of your gullet into the bowl. You began sputtering and coughing - god, it tasted absolutely fetid! Was it even in date? It tasted as if it was rotting in your mouth!

  
  


“DO YOU NOT LIKE IT, MX MC?” Creampuff queried, a concerned expression plastered across his face.

  
  


Sans, deciding that dinner was just not worth it, teleported his meal out of sight before catching the attention of the taller skeleton with the clicking of his fingers.

  
  


“they like it. they really like it.” He lied, eye watching as you chugged down a whole glass of orange juice to rid of the taste, only to groan in despair as it amplified.

  
  


“Yeah, they like it alright.” Papyrus snickered, sipping away at the coffee he had somehow managed to acquire.

  
  


Blue frowned at the display, before his eye lights glimmered in recognition. “ANYWAYS, WHAT SHOULD WE CALL YOU TWO? WE CAN’T KEEP REFERRING TO YOU AS THE NEW SANS AND NEW PAPYRUS!”

  
  


Edge perked up from his conversation, with a wicked character, “WE CALL THEM BONEHEAD AND DINGBAT.”

  
  


“NO! NO! MOUTH BREATHER AND ASS LICKER!” The purple skeleton hollered.

  
  


Cash snorted, his eye never tearing away from his phone, “I like ass licker.”

  
  


Stretch frowned, as he didn’t like those names one bit, and for a good reason; “How about something less insulting? What about Crimson and Gold?”

  
  


Irritation was prominent on Sans’ skull as he rolled his eye light, before taking a long sip from his glass, “peh. if nicknames are a must, i would prefer something that upholds my status.”

  
  


You glanced at him in thought, “How about Captain, sir?”

Sans faltered, before a devilish grin stretched across his skull. “captain! perfect! and my brother shall be called mutt.”

  
  


Vanilla’s smile twitched ever so slightly, before his expression returned to normal, “back to the jaw-ing board. saying your bro’s makes me uncomfortable.”

  
  


With a huff of irritation, Sans took another long sip, ignoring the eyes of those around him. You couldn’t help but notice that he was bouncing his leg up and down, something he only did when he felt under pressure. You couldn’t blame him - to be pulled from one world to another was already a jarring experience for you, you didn’t even want to think about what would happen if you were told that you had to change all that you knew and throw it all behind.

  
  


No matter, you would always call your captain by his name when needed. He will always be the only Sans in your eyes after all.

  
  


“OH! HOW ABOUT WINE FOR YOU, NEW SANS?” Blue suggested with a smile.

  
  


Sans furrowed his brow in thought, “i guess… it makes sense.”

  
  


You liked that name. Of course, you would never refer to him as such, but it suited him nonetheless - it was a badge of which you could definitely see him wearing with confidence, and that was all that mattered when it came with situations such as this.

  
  


“It makes you sound very refined, sir.” You complimented numbly.

  
  


“yes. yes it does! mwa-ha! i like this name: wine. it suits me.” He guffawed in pride, something of which he didn’t do often.

  
  


“I STILL PREFER BONEHEAD.” Edge grumbled, arms crossed over his chest. You swore that you could see steam coming from his ear cavities.

  
  


“i would still wish to be referred to by my own name but if this nickname is to be put in place, then i have nothing negative i wish to say about it. now, concerning my brother.” Sans recited in reflection, before perking up. “i’d say something more similar to-”

“ASSSS LICKER.” The purple skeleton hissed.

  
  


Everything went deadly silent, and Sans’ eye light went out completely. Vanilla was snorting to himself, alongside Stretch and Cash. You were not impressed, and neither was Papyrus, both of you had the exact same thought in mind: is murder legal in this universe? You were fairly certain that Sans was upset, if not, pissed. Such disrespect caused rage to flow through him like lava, and you saw his frown deepen as the uncomfortable silence drifted on. 

  
  


“ERM.” Creampuff started, before cutting himself off. He didn't know what to say.

  
  


Suddenly, Red bellowed out a hearty dose of belly laughter, and Edge started screaming at the top of his lungs for him to shut up. You felt as if you needed to cover your ears, such loud jeering began to take a toll on your hearing - ringing had started in the back of your mind.

  
  


“SANS! STOP LAUGHING! THAT WASN’T EVEN ALL THAT FUNNY FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” Edge roared, looking as if he was ready to wreak havoc.

  
  


Red, wiping a tear from his socket, let out a couple of exuberant chuckles, “oh fuck off, chief, ya gotta admit that was pretty funny!”

  
  


Vanilla, with a very similar genial expression to his edgier counterpart, quips in, “that was pretty rib-tickling.”

  
  


“go fuck yourself.” Growled Red, his demeanour turning a complete 160 at the pun.

  
  


With a teasing smirk, Vanilla turned to face Edge with a raised brow, “or should i say pretty evil rib-tickling?”

  
  


Unsurprisingly, Edge bellowed out a shrill and contemptuous laugh, “HAW HAW HAW! NOW THAT’S COMEDY!”

  
  


Why he found Vanilla’s evil joke funny was unknown to you, and it seemed as if you weren’t the only one that was confused at his silly behaviour.

  
  


“SEE, SANS? YOU SHOULD LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM YOUR SOFTER VERSION! MAYBE ONE DAY YOU’LL FINALLY EARN A LIVING FROM YOUR TERRIBLE SENSE OF HUMOUR IF YOU ACTUALLY LEARNT FROM SOMEONE WITH COMEDIC GENIUS!” 

  
  


“that ain’t fuckin’ comedic genius, paps! he literally just added the word ‘evil’ in front of the pun!” Argued Red, his red eyelights flaring up.

  
  


“EXACTLY! THAT’S HOW COMEDY WORKS, SANS!” Edge asserted with a hint of confusion in his expression.

  
  


Did he seriously not understand that there was no difference?

  
  


“oh my fucking god.” Red moaned, leaning his head in the palms of his hands.

  
  


You glanced around the room. Everyone was so friendly with one another; even in adverse and unfavourable circumstances, they were still able to get on. It was as if they were a family, a largely contradictionary family. In a sense, you could say that you were jealous.

  
  


Back when you lived above ground, you were never very close with anyone. Not as if that was necessarily a negative thing, as it just showed that you held a sense of weariness and independence in your heart. But it also meant that on some occasions, you felt rather lonely; humans were social creatures after all. Hiding yourself from communal situations was something rather detrimental to your mental health, and even at the ripe old age of seventeen, you knew that. You knew far too much for your own good. Why did you have to be such a justful soul?

  
  


“How about Coffee?” Stretch questioned, cutting you out of your thoughts.

  
  


Papyrus, who was leant back against his chair and fiddling with his hoodie’s straps, shrugged his shoulders with a complacent expression. He didn’t seem too bothered, not as if you would expect him to be. A monster such as him was uncaring to the minor issues in life - hell, you could call him a braceface, perhaps even a prickteaser, and he wouldn’t even bat an eye. Yet, he seemed fairly self conscious when it came to things concerning him as a person, or things about himself that he’s unable to change.

  
  


“whatever.” A commanding gaze towards you was all it took for you to stand from your seat. “wash the dishes.”

  
  


With a swift turn, you headed towards the kitchen to do as you were told. Of course, Sans had already teleported the dirty dishes near the sink, so you had no need to go round the table and collect them. You felt discomposed under the gaze of those around you, those you did not know, yet… also did.

  
  


Some strange part of you had felt the need to act the same way you do around Sans and Papyrus - as surely, since they were indeed the same people, that they would have similar reactions to how the skeletons you know would conduct. And yet, from this experience, you had learnt very well that they were not like your skeletons. They each had their own personalities and preferences, some were kinder than others, some were harsher, but in the end, they were still the same people. You were disoriented. After all, this was such a simple dilemma which could be understood by many as something incredible. But you were so utterly confused. Or, rather, indecisive on whether or not those around you were of harm to you and your captain.

  
  


“oh, and we need to talk tomorrow about you three living here.” Vanilla pitched up from the dinner table.

  
  


“alright. good night.”

* * *

The captain entered the room first, arms folded behind his back. His brother followed right after, making a blunt beeline for the neatly made up bed to fall face-first into the soft pillows, letting out a sigh before abruptly falling asleep. Sans simply watched him with a less than impressed expression but withheld himself from commenting.

  
  


Entering the room just after, you turned to shut the door in a hushed manner, not wanting to cause attention to the conversation that was about to follow. You glanced over at the unconscious skeleton, nostrils flaring up as your expression creased into one of annoyance. Of course he acted so idiotically, even when there were dangers lying around the corner. He should be glad that you and his brother weren’t out for him, otherwise he would’ve most likely been dusted the very second he turned his back to you. Nevertheless, you straightened yourself in the presence of your captain, waiting for him to start his droll rant.

  
  


“so, lieutenant commander. now that we have put my plan into motion, is there anything you have taken notice of during dinner? except for the ridiculous mockery directed at my person.” Articulated the skeleton, and you paused.

“It seemed as if Blue was trying to get closer with me, sir. Not to mention the fact that everyone seemed rather… friendly with each other, shall I say.” Was all you could point out, as there was nothing much else that you had necessarily gathered that wasn’t already known to Sans.

  
  


He scoffed in response, “i have noticed that much. they certainly seem familiar with each other and their demeanour aren’t necessarily hostile- most of the time. but we can’t let that fool us, we need to have the upper hand at all costs. not letting our guard down. we will have to act… friendly towards them, but not befriend them, as their intentions remain unknown.”

  
  


Your brows furrowed at what he was getting at, “Of course, sir. Although, does that mean you wish for me to engage with Blue and his ‘sheep’?”

  
  


Sans froze for a second, as if contemplating the choices. He knew that such a situation would most likely have to happen if you were alone with his counterpart, and while he was rather uncomfortable with that notion - as he always looked out for those he was close to - he also knew that you had the ability to handle yourself against one monster’s magic attacks if need be. 

  
  


“i see the childishness of that offer, however… it would be a perfect occasion to obtain more information. so, to answer your question, yes, you are to engage with blue and his… sheep. you have handled worse, lieutenant.” Sans surmised, before tensing, his expression growing irritated, “it has also come to my attention… how that ridiculously tall numskull and my sumph of a counterpart have decided to mock me. and for such absurd notion, despite the strictly professional nature of our relation. as if they had a right to ask me these questions - and then going as far to try to deride me!”

  
  


Your mouth twitched at the corners, a smile trying to escape its way onto your face. Your captain was a very amusing fellow, even without realising it.

  
  


“i seem to attract the attention of morons, at all times, despite having more important matters at hand. i am to execute the will of the queen herself, to track down those who defy her, and not to partake in the kind of foolery those two indulge themselves in.” Sans exaggerated, and you couldn’t help but notice the expression of dire yet humorous dread plastered across his skull.

  
  


An amused huff escaped your nose, eyes smiling; “Are you sure you’re not just jealous, sir? After all, it seems as if they, at the very least, have people to joke around with.”

  
  


The captain’s demeanour faltered for just a second, before he quickly pulled himself together with an enraged yet composed frown, “whatever gave you this idea? complete nonsense. i would rather remain in solitude for eternity than mingle with the likes of them.”

  
  


Of course. Once again, you let out an amused huff, before your mind drifted.

  
  


You were going to have to spend time with Blue. He was an interesting character, as much as he did seem like a cute little thing, you had unending suspicions that he had something up his sleeve. Despite the adoring looks and unique speech pattern, he most likely wished to catch you alone and gain information about your captain, something of which had happened many times in the underground. You simply could not trust someone of which not only lies to others with their outward personality, but also lies to themselves.

  
  


The situation that would occur tomorrow will be a problem, but a task you were willing to complete if your captain does so wish. You’d simply have to evade any intrusive questions concerning your captain, and of course, your time back in the underground. While familiarity is key in the plan, it also does not mean that you’d have to share any personal information or views with the party in question. You’re going to have to make Blue trust you, but also make it seem as if he knew you, word phrases as carefully as possible, just as you had done concerning the questioning towards your status as Lieutenant Commander.

  
  


Either way, you were certain that you would be able to manipulate the tiny fellow into telling you what you need to know. You were well known in the guard for your cognitive skills after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta read by Glitterbug!! She also helped me write out Wine's dialogue in the end scene!


	3. The Antichrist Could Be A Skeleton, Who Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Blue's sheep and set off on an adventure.

“NO! NO! YOU FEED THEM WITH YOUR HAND OUT LIKE THIS!”

  
  


It were genuine torture.

  
  


“SEE HOW CINNAMON IS ABLE TO EAT FROM YOUR HAND WITH EASE NOW INSTEAD OF CRANING HIS NECK!”

  
  


You never would have thought that such an innocent acting skeleton would be capable of such devices.

  
  


“HE LOOKS SO HAPPY! MAYBE NEXT TIME, WE SHOULD BRING HIM A TREAT TO WARM UP TO YOU!”

  
  


You were frozen in place, designer sheep surrounding your form as Blue stood on top of what seemed to be a barrel. The gentle wind was fresh and made you shiver under it’s light touch, and while it wasn’t necessarily snowing, there was a small coating of the substance on the ground. Was it Winter? This was news to you. Then again, you are in a completely different universe, it would make sense for the date to be different. Nevertheless, you were regretting this experience to the fullest, the sopping wet fabric of your pyjama pants were clinging to your ankles, ensuring that you felt rather uncomfortable to be moving around even during such an awful situation.

  
  


The sheep were… unique, to say the least. They were all male, you could see that for a fact. Each and every one of them had long, thick horns curved up from their skull, and their eyes were a stunning shade of yellow that stared into your soul. They were rather cute, but feeling their flexing lips against your skin as they fed from the palm of your hand made you shiver in your place. You weren’t used to such light contact, it tickled you. At some points, they would try to buck each other out of the way to get to you easier, and you had flinched each time. They weren’t goats, you had no reason to be afraid of them, and yet, the fact that they were from the Bovidae family made you rather disheartened - they reminded you of your Queen, an awful woman was she.

  
  


At some point, Blue had tried to tell you their names (something about spices?), but you were too busy trying not to get knocked over by the enthusiastic quartet. Nevertheless, Blue seemed pleased to be in your presence, to be engaging with his pets, and that was what you were aiming for. He had not yet asked any sort of personal questions, perhaps a few that could be deemed as somewhat suspicious, but nothing to necessarily change the subject for. Which was good.

The honey-coloured sheep let out some sort of sniffle, or snort, before bucking its horns towards one of the cream ones, effectively pushing it out of the way. You had stepped back slightly, and noticed the other two doing a very similar motion behind you - so you froze in your spot, afraid to accidentally be jabbed by such large horns. Blue had chuckled from the barrel at the situation, and a flare of embarrassment spread through you. Did he seriously mock you about this? These were dangerous creatures that could very easily break your arm or whatnot! You’d rather keep your bones intact, thank you very much.

  
  


“MINT LIKES CHIN RUBS, WHY DON’T YOU GIVE HIM SOME ATTENTION, MX MC?” Blue questioned with a wide grin, eyes shining.

  
  


You tensed at the suggestion. You did not enjoy that idea one bit. After all, what if it didn’t enjoy the sensation and lunged at you? Once again, you’d rather keep your bones intact, especially your rib cage.

  
  


“I’d rather not.” Was all you replied, brows furrowed.

  
  


Blue had simply giggled in response, before going back to simply watching the show. He had found it amusing, you suppose, to find out about how unwilling you were to interact with such malicious creatures. How one could find any of these creatures even a tiniest bit enjoyable was unknown to you; apart from their beautiful eyes, they were simply another part of the animal kingdom of which you wished to stay away from. You weren’t scared, but you were hesitant. Anyone would be after knowing what sort of atrocities horns such as those could commit, you were fairly certain that Sans would act the same way in your position, admittedly, he’d probably be a bit more unwilling to show his hesitance, but you weren’t bothered about that fact. What bothered you was the sheep behind you that had begun to gently nudge your buttcheeks.

  
  


Just as expected, Blue had found your horrified expression amusing, and you had sworn to the gods that you were just about willing to commit murder for the way that you were being treated. But, thankfully, you had better self control than that.

  
  


When you had awoken this morning, you were fairly convinced that the night prior had been some sort of fever dream, perhaps even your sleeping mind paying a trick on you. As it had been known that the human brain does tend to involve itself in quite some madness when faced with long periods of existential loneliness. But when it had struck 8AM, and Sans had slammed open your door claiming you to be late up, had you finally realised that none of what had happened yesterday was in any sort of way fake. And, as such you were forced into another uncomfortable meal with the rest of the household (or, at least, the tame ones, as you believe that there were others that had locked themselves away just as you and your allies had done).

  
  


It was lasagne for breakfast, courtesy of Edge. When it had been placed in front of you, your heart had practically dropped out of existence, and Sans, of whom had sat next to you, had started giving genuine worrisome glances towards you due to the contents in the dish. Of course, you were determined to consume something, so Sans simply ended up teleporting the shards of glass elsewhere so you could eat without cutting up the insides of your throat and stomach (and, of course, possibly dying). Even so, you could swear that the meal had some sort of crunch.

  
  


The lasagne wasn’t bad, per say, it was simply just a little bit too tangy and, well, wet. For some strange reason, Edge believed that adding a nearly quarter cup of lime juice was perfect for such a dish. “IT BRINGS FLAVOUR!” Was what he had said when questioned. And, of course, you kept your mouth shut, in case of accidentally starting some sort of food debate.

  
  


After such a situation, you had rushed to clean the dishes, only to be told by Creampuff that there was some sort of chore list, and that you were banned from the kitchen. Typical, you had thought, your only way out of conversing with the rest of the household so early had been thrown out of the window. So, just like the imbecile you were, you decided that it would be best to get the sheep situation over and done with, and had asked Blue to introduce you to them. As expected, he was very enthusiastic, and had claimed that you would love them. You didn’t, but that was obvious.

  
  


Apparently, they weren’t actually possessed by anyone in the household, they were the neighbour’s sheep of which are used for their beautiful and lush wool coats; they were designer sheep after all, so the owner gained quite a large profit from them. Blue had become rather close with them when he had first arrived, and was given permission by the owner to open a mini petting zoo for the children who live in town. It was free, for whatever reason, but Blue had mentioned that a lot of the parents like to give him money for his services anyway. And while the petting zoo was closed due to the declining weather, he still had his fun with the sheep.

  
  


You had gained a lot of information from him in that beginning conversation, something you are absolutely sure to mention to the captain:

  
  


First of all, the rest of the household are friendly with others, meaning that they had allied forces. If something were to go wrong in the plan and such forces were to catch wind of the fact that you and your skeleton compatriots were the only ones living within said home, then problems would occur. Perhaps Sans could order Papyrus to gain information, and if they were a big enough threat, get rid of them. It would be the easiest solution after all - but also the most dangerous, as they most likely had more associates that would enact revenge.

  
  


Secondly, there was a town nearby. Although, that was something that was already guessed beforehand, as Vanilla had mentioned at one point to you during your reclusive days that he would be willing to take you clothes shopping as soon as you had “recovered”. Whatever that means. If this was true, then that means that either you or Papyrus would be ordered to check out the area at night, something of which you were completely willing to do. A town means shops, and shops mean clothing. If you found anything acceptable enough, you would most likely end up stealing it.

  
  


Finally, that the rest of the household, or, at least Blue, were allowed to get jobs. If Sans would be able to convince Vanilla and Creampuff that you were tame enough, then you’d probably be able to save up enough for basic utilities when you all end up ridding the rest of the household. Despite the fact that you had no qualifications, or at least, none in this universe, you were certain that you’d be able to charm potential employers into hiring you. Even if it was something rather simple, like a coffee shop.

  
  


But, you will have to keep in mind the fact that Blue could be trying to throw you off. Whatever he says could simply be a trap in which to catch you out with your captain’s scheme. You’ll have to remind Sans to stay wary when thinking through your options. You do not want to end up being eliminated at such a young age - you wish to live until at the very least seventy.

  
  


“I wish to stop now,” you informed Blue. “These things are acting too rough.”

  
  


Blue frowned at you with a contemplative expression, before letting out a huff, hopping from the barrel where he had sat and shooing away the sheep with limp hand gestures. One of them, the honey-coloured one, was a little bit too hesitant to leave, and was enjoying chewing on your pyjama pants a bit too much. With an amused grin, Blue reached down and gently unlatched the fabric from the sheep’s teeth, allowing you to take a couple of weary steps back towards the gate while watching the skeleton give some enthusiastic chin rubs towards the creature. You were not exactly pleased to be hearing his adoring coos.

  
  


After a while of completely making a fool of himself, Blue finally turned around with a look of which you could have only described as lunacy. He unlocked the gate for you so you could escape back into the house, him hopping behind you in toe. God, it felt like some sort of 90s chase sequence, where instead of the slasher doing the slashing, it’s the final girl - or, rather, final skeleton.

As soon as you opened the front door, Blue exclaimed that he had a lovely time with you. You both exchanged goodbyes, before the skeleton zoomed past you to the kitchen. Of course he wouldn’t even have the decency to wait for you to enter. Of course. Even so, you were rather disappointed that you hadn’t had the chance to question him on any rather peculiar or interesting matters. Though, you knew that if you were to intrude on whatever he would be doing at this point, it would raise questions. So, you decided to explore the household, starting with the porch. After all, before last night, you had only really seen up until the bathroom. Everything else was uncharted lands.

  
  


First of what you had noticed was that the porch outside was absolutely beautiful; looking out into the sea trees blanketed by thick, fluffy snow. The sun cascading through the leaves, creating a kaleidoscopic effect on the deck stood beneath you. It looked as if magic caught the light. The roof of the porch was adorned in thick slabs of wood to support itself - no cobwebs or kinks to be seen, it was if the wood was replaced regularly. It was good to know that it was looked after, at least you most likely wouldn’t have to experience some sort of cave in.

  
  


The columns upholding the rest of the anatomy was made out of tulipwood timber, and was with one coat of a lovely shade of white, allowing some of the cream undertones to blend through and create a stunning effect of which you usually aren’t a big fan of. The same was done for the railings and skirtings, and while you couldn’t necessarily see it from this angle, you were fairly certain the same thing was done for the trims.

  
  


Cherry wood was the deck. There was also a mat that adorned the front door, reading “welcome” in a big font, alongside some sort of goofy looking drawing of Creampuff. Did he make this? Or was it something he had ordered? You were unsure, but it was wacky nonetheless.

  
  


When entering the building, the foyer was what you first stood in, a long hallway with an overhanging foundation to separate the lounge. Just as expected, there were nutty items and decorations embellished all over the place. A small yet thick tree bark with sanded out ends was tucked away in the corner, a red blanket placed upon its person. There was some sort of… face drawn upon it. Or perhaps was it tattooed? It seemed more likely to have been tattooed into the wood. You tried not to think about it much.

  
  


Peaking into the downstairs bathroom, you quickly decided that it wasn’t worth it - the Christmas themed toilet covering was enough to persuade you that the person who decorated this house was most likely having a seizure.

  
  


The lounge, thankfully, was pretty normal. Apart from the sickeningly green seating, and the zig-zagged aqua and plum carpet, there were no such appliances that you would necessarily deem as strange. There was a large, flat-screen TV, something of which had recently started becoming popular back when you were above ground - although this one seemed a lot more appealing to look at. More modernised in terms of appearance, although you were rather unknown to what “modern” is anymore.

  
  


You were rather intrigued by the floor plan of your whereabouts - long hallways and out of place lodgings - it must’ve taken years for such an accommodation to have been created. Not to mention in terms of cost, you were fairly certain that the owner of said establishment must have to be drowning in cash. Was it built simply to be sold later down the line? Or was it a long-term fixture? Either way, you tried to keep your mind on track and explore without going into the logistics of things. This was not the underground, you had no need to keep an eye out for suspicious constructions such as this.

  
  


Opposing the lounge was the dining room; it was small and fairly bare. There were chairs littered all around the place, some more damaged and worn down than others. The wooden table was layered in a thick, silk carmine fabric that you suppose was meant to make the area look more appealing - although, due to your acute configuration senses, you would say that it was an unnecessary attribute to an already bare room. When it comes to designing the furnishings of a layout, you should either go all-in, or make it as arid as possible. If they wished to keep the table cloth, it would look a lot nicer to decorate the area a lot more with colours similar or, at the very least, matching with the shade of red. It’s a simple concept, but yet you feel as if Creampuff and Vanilla have no care about what their house looks like to the outside world.

  
  


The dining room enters into the kitchen, of which Creampuff and Blue were chatting in. It seemed as if it was Creampuff’s turn to wash the dishes today, explaining why he had told you off for trying to do so earlier this morning, as the platters were laid out rather neatly against the drying rack. His gloves were also rather damp, but it seemed as if he had tried to dry them after finishing with the water.

  
  


Marble checkered patterns were across the floor, the walls the same maroon-esque shade as the rest of the household. The windows were wide open, allowing the cool breeze to drift on in; goosebumps appeared on your skin once more due to that. What stuck out to you the most was the incredible height of each and every cabinet was incredibly tall. While you would probably have a fairly easy time reaching the top handles, you were fairly certain that those of a smaller stature (meaning, the Sans’) would have to either use their magic, or get a chair to stand on. The stool that was tucked away in the corner was too small for such a situation.

  
  


This had made you wonder: were any of the Sans’ allowed to do anything in the kitchen at all? You’d have to bring this point up at a later notice.

  
  


“heya.” A baritone voice had cut in from behind you.

  
  


You flinched, and turned around with wide eyes. It was Vanilla, leaning against the wall on the other side of the dining room. His expression was as lax as usual, but you were still tensed due to the nature of his entrance. You had not heard him come in, that made you uncomfortable.

  
  


“What can I do for you, Vanilla?” You queried with a raised brow. “Is there something that you need from me?”

  
  


Vanilla shrugged, “i’m taking you and your skeletons to see doctor alphys. needed to come and get you so we can get going.”

  
  


Your brow twitched, “A little bit sudden, don’t you think? Didn’t you wish to speak with us today about our living situation here? Why not wait until a later date, when we had already settled ourselves in and gotten comfortable with those around us?”

  
  


His expression shifted, if not, for a second, before returning to his normal self; “i would do that, but i promised alph that she could meet you guys as soon as you come down by yourself. i told her last night and she really wants to do some checks on you.”

  
  


“Checks?” You echoed, apprehensive, “Why does she need to check us? Wouldn’t that be a little too personal?”

  
  


Of course, Vanilla knew that, and he knew that you knew that. But he also knew that it would be a needed procedure before you and your buddies would be allowed free roam of the surface. To verify whether or not you all would be a danger to the human population; they shouldn’t have to risk losing their rights because of some simple anomalies messing up in a confrontation.

  
  


“c’mon, kid, let’s get you to the car. your skeletons are already there.” Vanilla sighed, eyelids heavy.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The car was a spiffing red lamborghini. It seemed as if it once was coated in a deep black colour, as some of the paint on the trunk had begun peeling off, revealing patterns of which you could not decipher. 

  
  


Sans sat in one of the front seats, looking incredibly bored and uninterested, perhaps even a little bit irritated. He was opposite to the driver's seat, of which Vanilla had just sat himself down in. You watched as he adjusted the chair until he was close enough to be able to drive it properly, and you couldn’t help but notice that he was sitting on something that pushed him slightly upright to be able to see through the window properly. You had to stop yourself from outwardly snorting.

  
  


“Sir.” You greeted your captain as you opened the back door, frowning at Papyrus, who was smugly grinning at you from his seat. “Do I have to sit next to him?”

  
  


“are there any other seating arrangements?” Sans scoffed, “no? then buck it up, lieutenant. it’s just my fucking brother.”

  
  


With a huff of air through your nose, you rolled your head forward ever so slightly in defeat. This was going to be a rough journey.

  
  


“Yeah.” Papyrus droned, his expression crinkled up in amusement. “S’just me.”

  
  


As you sat down in your seat, you tried to ignore the intrusive eyes of the skeleton next to you. You did up your seat belt to assure protection, and closed the car door shut. Papyrus, of course, continued to stare at you with a demeanour of which you could only describe as completely fucking annoying. He was going to try and piss you off in this car ride, and you knew it very well.

  
  


“God fucking damn it.” Was all you muttered.

  
  


The engine fired up, and you felt a jolt of excitement through your body at the thought of being in such an incredible car. You were never really a car person, nor did you care much for such life extensions, but this was such a well-known company brand, even in this day and age, that you were fairly certain that it would uphold the standards you had set for it. Was it fast? Was it a smooth drive? What about those screens at the back of the seats? Did they play movies? Or was it for show? You had many questions, but you withheld yourself from asking them.

  
  


“can you even drive this vehicle?” Sans scoffed, holding onto the interior handle above the window. Was he afraid?

  
  


“yeah. paps and i got our licenses as soon as we could when we surfaced.” Vanilla confirmed, turning on the radio, of which blasted some sort of modernised pop song you had not heard of.

  
  


Sans only scoffed in response, his grip tightening alongside his form. In opposition, Papyrus seemed as relaxed as anything. He didn’t even have his seatbelt on, something of which you were certain that he would get in trouble with if his brother had the ability to see him.

  
  


“can you drive?” Vanilla asked, as he began to steer the car out of the driveway.

  
  


Sans spluttered in response, “no. but i’m sure i can learn!”

  
  


“whatever you say buddy.” Vanilla snickered to himself.

  
  


For the first thirty minutes, apart from the minimal music and occasional ads from the radio, all was silent. Snow had begun falling pretty soon into the journey; you had watched in awe as the magical flakes mixed into the glittering shops and boulevards. The car handled perfectly and rode smoothly, even at the higher speeds during the drive on the highway. It put you in another place, a very relaxed yet aware state, with a great sense of power and understanding. Everything looked so beautiful, so neat and tidy. Monsters and humans were working together to correct the world, and all that you had done in life was help destroy it.

  
  


In the beginning, Papyrus had tried to create some sort of reaction out of you by annoying you. But you were uncaring towards his painful prods and hair pulling. You tried to ignore him, and eventually, he had fallen asleep. Fallen asleep to the unwinding sound of the pitter patter of snow against the windows, the light, almost unheard, tune of the radio, and the low grumble of the car travelling across the roads.

  
  


You had never felt so relieved in your life. Never felt so… free. It was an incredulous feeling, something you were unused to, yet so very glad to be feeling. The world was sweet.

  
  


Then, the music went out, and you had been cut away from your thoughts. It was bitter once again.

  
  


“why did you turn the radio off?” Sans questioned in an annoyed tone, enjoying the song that was just playing.

  
  


“thought it’d be best to talk to you all before we got to alphys’ about the house.” Vanilla shrugged, before his eyes turn towards Sans’ with a teasing grin across his teeth, “or would you rather listen to ariana grande talk about eating booty?”

  
  


Sans raised a brow, crossing his arms, “who?”

  
  


“exactly.” Vanilla responded, “so, as you’ve probably gathered, something happened that caused you all to be here.”

  
  


“No shit.” Papyrus murmured under his breath, irritated to be awoken by his brother’s conversation. Vanilla pays no mind to his grumbling.

  
  


“and for some reason, everyone seems to think that it’s my fault, that i had done something. but, y’know, i’m a lazy butt. i sometimes forget to get changed out of my pyjamas when going to work.” He continued, “nah, it was alphys messing with one of her machines. she’s always had this fascination for the multiverse theory. have you heard of it? it’s where people believe that there are universes and timelines alongside our own that differentiate what happens in the original.”

  
  


Vanilla glanced towards the front mirror, catching your eyes. “or something like that. i don’t remember. never really was into that side of science. seemed too outlandish, not enough evidence.”

  
  


Yes, of course, because he definitely was a scientist to begin with.

  
  


“well, turns out that alph was right, and she ended up bringing through a different version of herself and undyne. they were apparently trying the same thing in their universes.”

  
  


“oh?” Sans pries, intrigued by where the conversation was going.

  
  


“yeah. they were all ecstatic by the discovery, weren’t thinking straight.” Vanilla confirmed, “and then people started randomly appearing, even when the three weren’t even using the machine. the code was damaged somehow.”

  
  


You gulped back the saliva that had built up in the back of your throat. This was a lot to take in. In your universe, Alphys was a rather close individual to you. Yes, you may have had your fair share of clashes, especially since you became her senior in the guard, but to think that in this universe she had the knowledge and ability to bring people from other universes to her own? It was almost unthought of. You had some things you needed to start getting used to if you were to continue in this world, one of them being the swapped personalities.

  
  


“I see.” You mumbled, catching the eye of Papyrus, who had begun to shift in his seat.

  
  


“but what was strange, is that it was usually only monsters. the only humans that joined along with, were humans that were directly connected to the integral history of the underground. so, like, frisks and charas and stuff.” Vanilla glanced off to the side, “no mcs.”

  
  


“what are you trying to say, good sir?” Sans growled, the red of his eye light glowing.

  
  


“nothing. just sayin’ that it’s unusual, since out of the six universes that were pulled through, you’re the first mc.” Vanilla raised his hands up from the wheel for a moment in a ‘mercy’ position, before returning them quickly, “then again, this is the second time that this has happened with an unusual human. the first was eliza, a little kid from the universe we named “fame”.”

  
  


Noticing your confused expression, he continued, “which means to starve, or to be hungry, in latin. alph wanted a more low-key name, as to not trigger any negative memories from any of the reforming monsters.”

  
  


“either way, we currently don’t know how we’re going to fix this. if it’s even fixable. it’s been two years now since the fell monsters were first brought through, and three years since we’ve left the underground.” Vanilla sighed, “it may take years. for all we know, you all may be stuck here forever.”

  
  


You knew that. Or, at least, you had caught wind of that from Sans. But even so, it was still heart wrenching to think about. There was no way to go home. No way to see Alphys again, no way to help break the barrier, no way to do anything of any use towards the kingdom of the underground. You were just gone. Forever. No returning. It was scary to think about. Everything you had known for the past nine years had been taken away from you, and you have been left in a world even more confusing than your own.

  
  


“are there any house rules we need to abide by?” Sans questioned after a while of silence.

  
  


Vanilla scratched the top of his skull in thought, keeping his eyes on the road, “not really. try and get on with everyone, only enter bedrooms that people let you in, and it’ll all be fine.” He blinked, “oh, and don't go in the basement.”

  
  


That was suspicious.

  
  


Sans seemed to have thought so too, as he had scrunched his nose up in cynicism, “why is that?”

  
  


“that’s where the tomb brothers lie. they don’t like the modernised look of the household.” Vanilla explained, tense at the thought of said skeletons. “they’re from some sort of… zombie apocalypse world i believe. their frisk is a cute kid though, really sweet. willing to take part in tests as well.”

  
  


Zombie apocalypse? What a cliche trope. You had seen that sort of thing in movies and books, it was very popular back when you were above ground. Not that you would ever understand why. Surely there was something more to these brothers than simply coming from an apocalypse world. If not, you’ll be utterly disappointed.

  
  


“When do I get new clothes?” You questioned, suddenly squealing in pain when Papyrus began tugging at your hair, snickering. “hey!- stop that!”

  
  


You both jumped in opposite directions though when one of Sans’ bone attacks came flying at you from the front of the car. Papyrus had his hands held up in mercy and began sputtering out quiet apologies towards you. As the bone attack faded away, you hesitantly sat back in your original place, trying to ignore the hole in the seat.

  
  


“oh- um-” Vanilla stuttered, most likely wanting to tell Sans off for ruining his brother’s car, but also not wanting to cause even more of an issue.

  
  


“yes, when do we get new clothes?” Sans repeated, crossing his legs and grabbing the window handle once more. Vanilla chuckled nervously.

  
  


“we can probably take you shopping tomorrow. although… your clothes aren’t exactly what you’d wear when going out…” Vanilla glanced back towards the road after giving a look towards you in the overhead mirror, overtaking a much slower vehicle. “i’ll ask if you can borrow some of alphys’ clothes. they might not fit you but it’s something.”

  
  


Well, at least you’d have something to wear. You just wish it isn’t something too embarrassing. Wearing smelly doggy pyjamas for three straight weeks has already done enough damage to your pride as it was.

  
  


“What’re they plannin’ on doin’?” Papyrus enquired with a raised brow.

  
  


“oh, just some checks, and a basic health exam for mc. nothing too big, it happens for everyone who gets dragged through.” Vanilla confirmed, only for the two skeletons to tense in their seats.

  
  


“CHECKS?!” Sans squawked. Papyrus had a similar expression to his own.

  
  


“uh, yeah. it’s a procedure.” Vanilla mumbled in a hushed tone.

  
  


Honestly, you weren’t all that bothered about the checks. You understood why your captain was so hesitant though; back in the underground, non-violent checks were only done for those of whom were trusted. Not necessarily romantically or whatnot, simply people that you were close with and knew wouldn’t hurt you, like Sans and his brother. Many monsters had been dusted due to allowing someone to check them, only to be killed on the spot. Unless you were in an encounter, it wasn’t something you just let a stranger do. Such a thing was unheard of.

  
  


Nevertheless, you were never all that bothered about monsters checking you. You were a human, you would be able to take a surprise blow to the soul, unlike the many around you. It was still nerve wracking to think about, but it wasn’t something you were all that bothered with.

  
  


Speaking of what you were bothered with, you were glad to know that you would be able to get a new set of clothes soon. Something you could pick out yourself. If it was a full day of shopping, you also wished to get a hold of some paints and furnishings for your bedroom. You’d rather not have such a pink room. After all, pink was never really your style. You much preferred something a lot more refined and professional, it suited your personality and upbringing.

  
  


At this point, Vanilla had rounded into some sort of unique-looking monster town, full of those so genuinely different to one another yet so very similar. There were monsters that looked as if they had crawled right out of hell, monsters that wore arrays of purples and carried weapons, even monsters that acted as if they were animalistic. There was such a huge array of creatures and personalities, you had no idea how to process it! Were you near to Alphys’ home? Were these all of the monsters from other universes? It was impossible to think about.

  
  


Up in the distance was a gigantic white laboratory, and your heart sank. You weren’t going to Alphys’ house directly, you were going to her lab! People are going to see you in your pyjamas! Talk about a shitty outcome.

  
  


“we’re here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so genuinely shook at how much attention this book has caught and I’m only on chapter three,,, thank you all so much for the 112 kudos!! I’m so glad you all enjoy what I’m writing. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter :))


	4. You Were Now A Hentai Enthusiast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC takes part in her examinations and gains new attire.

The laboratory was much stranger than you expected.

  
  


While the outside held a very nondescript sense of air, the color scheme being a mix between very light pinks and reds, the interior was full of estranged monitors holding an undertone of pale greens. It seemed as if it had some sort of calming effect on those around you, which was understandable, as you had once read that pale colours naturally elicited endorphins to help soothe the mind. Of course, this had allowed you to question the eligibility of such a statement - monsters are made of magic, correct? Why would someone actively want to have pastel-themed rooms when it had no impact on them? Nevermind, there were more pressing matters for you to be thinking about.

  
  


Sans was absolutely quiet the entire time you had arrived there, which was something you never would have thought would happen. After working under him for a little over seven years, you would say that you knew quite a lot about him, from his pet peeves to his little quirks, but after today, you kept on questioning yourself. Everything you had expected him to say or do went completely out the window. It was almost as if he was an entirely different person; which was an idiotic statement to make, since he was very much the same, proven by his edgy demeanour and consistent frown.

  
  


Of course, Papyrus was still the same as well, perhaps a little bit more reclusive than normal, but nevertheless as annoying as usual.

  
  


You four had been sat in some sort of waiting room for around an hour now. After you had originally refused to enter the building due to embarrassment of your overall appearance, Vanilla had rolled his eye lights, and before you knew it, you were all teleported inside. The receptionist had caught wind of your arrival, he was some sort of threatening bear monster, and had called the person you assumed to be Alphys to come down and fetch you. There was a tense silence between you all. Sans sat on your left, Papyrus on your right, almost as if they had been trying to block you from the world. Vanilla had been opposite to you, leant back against the rickety old chair with his eyes closed, soft breathing escaped from him. You would’ve believed him to be sleeping if it wasn’t for the fact that he would twitch at every little sound that was made.

  
  


Around the time that Alphys had arrived, Papyrus had begun trying to step on your bare foot with his boots, grinning and snickering at your obvious irritation. The Alphys in this universe was much different to your own; smaller in stature, bare from any sort of outward scars, and overall a lot more cloistered. You were certain that your Alphys would have a fit if she ever found out that her original counterpart was such a baby. Not to mention the fact that she was a scientist, of all things.

  
  


“S-s-s-sorry! I had to help a Whimsun with something…” The lizard had stuttered, and Vanilla instantly perked up from his seat, proving the idea that he was awake the entire time.

  
  


Alphys shuffled the papers in her claws, almost as if she was looking for something. Sans was tapping his foot impatiently, and while it was irritating after a while, you kept your mouth shut. After a hot minute of searching, it seemed as if Alphys had found what she was looking for, pulling out a blank folder with a silent ‘ah-ha!’ She turned towards your group.

  
  


“H-...” She trailed off, before her face returned to it’s usual colour,“Hi! I-I’m Doctor Alphys! N-now I’m sure that all of this may be rather confusing for you, but I hope that Sans has at least explained the basics?”

  
  


She was rushing through her words, something that your Alphys had done when she was excited for something. But you had an inkling that this Alphys spoke fast when she was nervous instead.

  
  


“yeah, i-” Vanilla began, only to be cut off with Sans’ icy tone.

  
  


“minimally.” 

  
  


His grip was tense against his arms, and for a moment you caught his eye, only for it to quickly dart elsewhere. 

  
  


“I see…” Alphys murmured in a concerned, and perhaps a little bit annoyed, tone.

  
  


Quickly, she perked up though, with a nervous grin stretched across her scales. Her eyes were creased. “W-well! You three can come along with me and I-I’ll take you to meet your doctors!”

  
  


She turned to Vanilla humorlessly, “S-Sans, you can-”

  
  


“d’worry, alph, i’ll be over in the cafe.” Vanilla cut the doctor off, waving his hand in a way to say ‘don’t worry about me’.

  
  


“I-if you eat all of the lunchables again and leave without paying, Scarlett will have my tail…” Sighed Alphys, and you raised a brow at the new name.

  
  


“i promise to not eat all the lunchables and leave without paying.” Vanilla snickered; “that better?”

  
  


“Thank you.” Was all the doctor whistled, most likely knowing as well as you that Vanilla had something up his sleeve.

  
  


“A-anyway! Right this way! I-I’ll give you a little tour of the ground floor while we’re at it.” Alphys cheered, and you had hesitantly stood from your seat, your skeletons following suit. Vanilla stayed behind.

  
  


You followed the jittery woman through hallways of ‘MTT’ posters and vending machines. Occasionally, you’d see a monster come from one of the hospital rooms, only to see you and scatter back to where they came from. It was weird, but it seemed to be something you’d see often. Were they afraid of humans? Or was it for some reason that was unknown to you? You would have to ask later on during the examinations. Alphys lead you all into a new room, Papyrus instantly took a step in front of you when the scary bear monster from before caught notice of your gaze. The room was shabby but elegant, a wide oblong shape. There were many inspirational quotes and cute animal pictures littered around, making it seem as if the bear had some sort of issue with negativity. You stayed weary as soon as his beady eyes began to analyse you.

  
  


Of course, Alphys was unknown to this. Or, at the very least, she paid it no mind.

  
  


“This is the reception area, where I… assume you were brought through. At least, I hope.” She murmured, before perking up. “This is our receptionist! He’s the Snowdin mayor from the fame universe, and he’s recently gotten married! I-isn’t that lovely?”

  
  


Sans rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the rows of razor sharp teeth shown in the monster’s grin, “delightful.”

  
  


Alphys gulped, before trudging along through to the next area. Sans nudged Papyrus forward, as the taller skeleton had begun making rude gestures towards the bear monster, of whom looked increasingly uncomfortable as time passed by.

  
  


“A-and through here is where the usual rooms are. To be fair, the lab has turned into more of a… hospital, then an actual science lab, but i-it’s not like any of the royal scientists have to involve themselves in the basic health checkups often! We have nurses for that…” Alphys stumbled, her claws pointing towards the empty hospital rooms that were lined through the hallway.

  
  


“The cafeteria is over through here, Sans will probably be in there causing a scene, and down the hallway to the left is the communal bathroom.” The doctor mumbled fairly quietly, and escorted you all away from the premises as if she didn’t want you three to fall trapped in Vanilla’s pranks. 

  
  


Sans had pulled you back when you had taken a step too close to the lizard monster, and gave you a look that you could only describe as truly intimidating. He didn’t make that expression towards you often. He was most definitely in a bad mood for some reason.

  
  


“tell me, why is it that you are escorting us away from the hospital rooms?” Sans questioned lowly, eye light glowering.

  
  


Alphys flinched at his tone, turning towards the skeleton and now finally noticing the distance between you all, “O-oh! Well, actually, we’re going to have to take part in your checkups in the ER rooms, of which are on the second floor…”

  
  


“i see.” Sans challenged.

  
  


“Y-yeah… haha…”

  
  


At this point, you were rounding near some sort of strange… elevator. It was poised and polished, rid of any sort of scratches or marks, similar to the rest of the ‘lab’, but yet stood out like a sore thumb. You felt uncomfortable being in such close proximity to the tiny monster, but Papyrus had immediately pushed you into a corner, something of which you were very thankful for. It was strange, there was a lot of overprotection happening today, you weren’t used to it. Usually, you’d be left to your own devices and uncared for in such a situation - was it because there were souls involved in the exam?

  
  


Admittedly, you weren’t all that well-versed in the idea of soul checks. You had experienced them first hand from the captain and Queen Toriel, but never had it been from anyone outside of an encounter. Was it a bad thing to engage in a check when there is no fighting involved? You’d have to ask later.

  
  


“W-well, here we are!” Alphys tittered as soon as the elevator doors opened, and you were grateful to be out of the cramped space.

  
  


“These are the ones?” A gruff, yet femine voice questioned. You perked up.

  
  


Another Alphys, similar to the one before you, yet looked as if she had come from a world similar to your own. She wore estranged glasses with swirls printed on them, something that you would never see in your universe, as such a unique fashion choice would be considered a weakness. Even so, her attire seemed fairly similar to what you’d imagine a witch to wear, the tentacle-esque rips on the dress she wore being a prime example of such.

  
  


There was an Undyne of sorts stood behind. She wore a long lab coat over her black tank top, luscious red hair tied up into a loose bun. Her smile was warm and inviting, something you’d expect from some sort of mother figure, yet it suited her so well.

  
  


“These are them…” Alphys babbled.

  
  


As soon as the acknowledgement escaped the shy lizard’s mouth, the red Alphys sauntered up towards you three, pushing her original out of the way with her painted nails. Sans tensed when she reached out her claws out towards him, yet hesitantly grabbed it in a tight embrace.

  
  


“Scarlett, from the fell universe, the pleasure’s yours. I will be your doctor today, Sans, please follow me.” Scarlett divulged, before swiftly turning on her feet to head down the hallway.

  
  


“we are separated?” Sans inquired.

  
  


“Yeah… Sorry, punk, it’d simply be easier for us all to follow along with it, y’know?” The Undyne implored, her eyes creased.

  
  


She turned towards Papyrus, of whom, similar to Sans, tensed under her gaze. “Oh, I’m Zofia, from swap, I’ll be your doctor, Papyrus.”

  
  


With a shaky grin, Alphys caught your attention, “A-and that means you have me, human!”

  
  


Sans swirled to face Alphys, who flinched under his predatory gaze. “if you hurt my underling, your soul will be torn to shreds.” He growled

  
  


Alphys bawled in response, sweat forming on her scales, “W-wouldn’t dream of it… haha…” 

  
  


As you watched Sans follow after his doctor, you gulped down a wad of saliva that had built up in the back of your throat. You weren’t nervous. Of course you weren’t. It was just some examinations you had to get through, you would be able to head back to the house soon after, alongside a new outfit you would be able to wear out tomorrow. Admittedly, it had been a while since you had any sort of physical check up, almost ten years perhaps, and it was due to a fractured nose. You were certain that the examinations that were going to take place were nowhere near the same as what you had gone through back then, mainly due to the fact that you had a monster doctor, but also because there was most likely going to be no scans at all.

  
  


You staggered forward as soon as a pressure came upon your shoulder. Papyrus snickered from his place, sauntering forward after nudging you out of his way.

  
  


“Careful, kitty.” He surmised in a low drone.

  
  


“Fuck off, beanstalk.” You snarled, anger increasingly rising as the skeleton continued to chortle.

* * *

  
  


The room you were situated in was as to be expected; an old TV hung from the ceiling, playing some sort of show with a robot very different to the one back in your home universe. The sound was off so you had absolutely no idea what was being said, but it seemed to be some sort of unique talk show that happened to involve… alligators? A window on the opposite side to the room gave you a view of the world below, and by craning your neck, you could very obviously see a small group of monster children playing on the swingset. In the corner there were two chairs, frayed with wear and tear, yet seemed to be as sturdy as ever.

  
  


Alphys had sat herself down in one of said chairs, tapping away at her computer and occasionally looking down at the paperwork to input some of the information. It was a typical hospital room, sparse and functional. Yet it felt more like an office than anything else - were all ER rooms like this? You never expected as such, since you had never been rushed to one or had the pleasure of being escorted to the hospital for any severe injury.

  
  


The bed was, at least, decently comfortable. Admittedly, fairly thin in terms of the mattress, but you would have no quarrels if you had to sleep here for a while.

  
  


Your thoughts were cut off by Alphys pushing herself off from her seat. You watched with prying eyes as she whizzed around the room like a frantic fly, grabbing items she believed she would need for the examination and placing them on the desk located before you. Not once did she try to catch your eye, which you were rather thankful for - she was afraid of you.

  
  


“I think it would be best for me to reintroduce myself n-now that we’re alone…” Alphys confided, pulling on her blue polyco gloves as she brought her chair over to sit opposite to you. “H-hi! I’m Alphys, while I’m not necessarily a doctor in the human sense, I have the qualifications to be one if needed, the experience for it, not to mention I am this universe’s Royal Scientist!”

  
  


So, she wasn’t an actual doctor? To be expected. It had only been three years since they had emerged from the underground after all. How long does it take to train for a doctorate? Ten years, you believed - five years studying, and five years being a trainee. 

  
  


“You are… MC, correct?” Alphys stressed, glancing up at you from her file with tired eyes.

  
  


You winced slightly at the mention of your name, but returned to your natural state pretty quickly.

  
  


“Yes, I am.” You articulated, leaning forward near the doctor as she simultaneously leaned back. “So, tell me, doctor, what sort of ‘check ups’ do you wish to indulge in?”

  
  


“W-well, actually, I have a small list right here!” She spluttered. “Sadly, due to the differences in species, your exam is going to take longer than your skeletons’, but no need to worry. I-if you’re really bothered by their lack of presence, we can, um, allow them in when they’re done?”

  
  


You raised a brow. Seriously? She was worried about that, of all things? You were perfectly fine without your captain or his measly brothers’ assistance. You thought.

  
  


“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” You echoed, reclining and crossing your legs.

  
  


“Right! W-well first, I wish to do a basic physical checkup. I- uh- need you to get changed into this…” Alphys croaked, before pulling out something from behind her.

  
  


It was a hospital gown, something you had never had the pleasure of wearing of course. You were… irritated to say the least. You did not want to get dressed into that.

  
  


“It’s pink.” You commented numbly.

  
  


Alphys stuttered, “Y-yeah.” 

  
  


With a blasé sigh, you rolled your eyes and tore the fabric from her grip. After changing into said garb, you were put through multiple tests to check your basic physical attributes. Alphys had checked your heartbeat, your lungs, and basically examined your outward appearance for any sort of physical anomalies or deformities. She had mentioned lowly that the cartilage in your nose seemed to be a little bit out of place but you paid no mind to it - that was to be expected after fracturing it all those years ago.

  
  


She seemed worried about some of the marks littered across your body. There weren’t many, nor were they very obvious, as they were the ones you had gained before you had been given the title of honorary monster. You were usually healed right up after any sort of damage was made to your form nowadays.

  
  


Only was it when she wished to test for anemia did your anxieties skyrocket - you were not letting her examine your private areas. After about half an hour of back and forth arguing, Alphys had finally caved and went straight into the neurological examination, of which the turnout was as to be expected. You were absolutely fine.

  
  


“Okay, so it seems as if there’s nothing out of the ordinary outwardly…” Mumbled the doctor, typing her findings into the database. “In a couple of weeks, we should probably set up a chiropractic adjustment for your back to help fix that slouching issue…”

  
  


You flinched, slightly offended, before straightening your back. It wasn’t your fault that your younger self was indifferent to your family’s continuous rants about spinal issues.

  
  


“Is that all, doctor?” You droned in a low voice, eyes fixated on the TV screen.

  
  


“O-oh no! We’ve still got plenty to go through! Now let’s get on with the cranial nerve exam!” Replied the buzzing woman.

  
  


You paused for a second, glancing over at her with a questioning expression. A what? You’d never heard of something like that. Then again, you’ve never needed to. Perhaps you should’ve paid more attention when you were back in school. Then at least you’d have knowledge on what the hell some of these things are and why they have to be done.

  
  


“Y-you do know what that is, right?” Alphys queried with wide eyes.

  
  


Slowly, you shook your head, “No.”

  
  


“O-oh. Well. Uh.” Stuttered the monster, fiddling with her claws. “It… assesses… your cranial nerves…”

  
  


No duh.

  
  


“Let’s just get on with it.” You huffed, shuffling in place to help with your slowly numbing buttcheeks.

  
  


“R-right!” Cheered the doctor, before skittering away to get what she needed for said exam.

  
  


She came back with some rather interesting items: some small jars with half-ripped labels on them, a flashlight, a snellen chart you assumed to access visual acuity, and some other components that you were increasingly curious with. Of course, you mentioned naught, in fear of being considered incapable of understanding basic cranial nerve knowledge - and yes, you still had no idea what most of the objects were for.

  
  


Alphys sat down in her seat with a complacent huff, once again shuffling with her paperwork, before she grabbed her new pair gloves and began pulling them back on again. Her eyes caught yours once more.

  
  


“Do I have your consent to partake in a cranial nerve exam?” Was what she questioned, and you rolled your eyes at such an enquiry.

  
  


“Yes. Get on with it.” 

  
  


“F-first, we are going to check your olfactory senses…” 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“Thank you for participating in this. Now if you’ll wait a moment…” Alphys murmured, tapping away at her keyboard.

  
  


The cranial nerve exam went surprisingly well. The jars were apparently for some sort of smelling test, to analyse whether or not your senses were properly intact, and the rest for similar reasonings. Alphys had commented that she was rather surprised that you could see the bottom line of the snellen test so easily, and you had scoffed at that - of course you could, it’s not as if your Undyne had done tests to assure that your eyesight was top notch. Definitely not. That was absurd.

  
  


You had to admit though, you were rather shocked at how easy the soul check was. Alphys seemed to be completely still throughout the whole time, occasionally prodding different areas of your glowing yellow soul to see whether or not there were any sort of infections or abnormalities. Of course, it was just your regular Justice soul, nothing that was out of the ordinary in the slightest.

  
  


Although, you were rather intrigued on what your stats were. You had not questioned anyone on them to that day.

  
  


Alphys seemed to be a unique woman. Small in both stature and personality, yet she had her moments of overwhelming confidence and passion, the absolute opposite to the Alphys you know. It was odd, it seemed as if every time she spoke, you were beginning to see more and more of your underling in her.

  
  


“Vanilla told us that you were the one that caused all this.” You disclosed.

  
  


Alphys paused in her work, her form rigid, before she relaxed to the best of her capabilities. A nervous smile spread across her features as she turned towards you, eyes full of an insane amount of guilt.

  
  


“Y-yes… I admit, it’s not my strongest suit but…” She confessed, gripping the trim of her lab coat. “I’ve always had a fascination for things of the unknown. Being brought up in a world where everything is left unexplained, where monsters around me don’t even care about the reasons about why we as a species even exist or how magic is formed, you tend to learn some bad habits. Why do we look the way we do? What is it that makes us emotionally able? Unlike humans, we have no physical form to speak of, nothing set in stone.”

  
  


You were silent. Simply listening to the words as she continued in her empowered confession, her eyes glittered.

  
  


“Our soul fuels what we look like from the day we are formed. We could look entirely different to our birth parents, or we could be an exact replica of what they once were. Nobody thinks about the why or the how.” A sigh escaped her; “But I do.”

  
  


Her soul turned into lead, and slowly sank inside her.

  
  


“I met someone… who helped me realise the intricacies of existence very early on into life. He saved me from eternal damnation and helped create the monster I am now.” She wiped away the tears that had begun forming at the corners of her eyes, “I sometimes wonder what he would see of me now… Would he be ashamed? Or pleased that I have achieved something? Am I even worthy of being his successor?”

  
  


What an interesting idea she had just disclosed. You were to report this to your superior as soon as possible; despite your inner angels screaming at you to comfort the pitiful woman, you stayed in place, and simply stared. It wasn’t often that you’d see a monster cry. From your many years as a royal guardsman, you had only seen it when said monster was on the very brink of death. Perhaps even a couple times where they were falling down.

  
  


You weren’t all that knowledgeable about monster emotions and ideologies, but you were fairly certain that showing that you were hurt by something made you weak in the eyes of society. And you couldn't agree more.

  
  


Alphys wiped away at her eyes and turned towards you with a wide smile, yet her eyes only showed remorse. Her claws were still gripping at her lab coat and you couldn’t help but notice that they were shaking just a little.

  
  


“O-oh! I’m so sorry! Y-you’re, uh, not all that interested in my ramblings, are you?” She gulped, “It’s a habit…”

  
  


Ah, yes, a habit. A habit very similar to one you most definitely take a part in.

  
  


The lizard skittered around through the drawers of her desk, pulling out a huge wad of paperwork and dropping them on the table before you. She had begun skimming through them, placing each in piles and sorting through the ones that were unneeded in- whatever she was trying to accomplish. After a short while of searching, she had finally finished, and began placing small wads into files for you to read. You read the titles of each file.

  
  


‘Alternate Universes (And How to Deal With Them)’

  
  


‘How To Get A Job In Another Universe’

  
  


‘The Monsters Living Around You’

  
  


‘The Humans Living Around You’

  
  


‘A Guide On How To Blend In With The Original Universe’

  
  


You raised a brow at the last file: The Skeleton Household - for MC. Your name seemed to be scribbled on in very sloppy and perhaps spastic handwriting, differing from the neat font that was plastered onto the sticker. It was a thicker file than the rest. Holding it for too long made your hands feel numb.

“H-here is some information I would like for you to revise before our next meeting! I was planning on explaining some things to you before you were sent off, but… we’ve run out of time. I’m sorry about that…” Alphys mumbled, still looking guilty as ever as she glanced off to the side.

  
  


You rolled your eyes, stacking the files together and standing up from your seat; “Vanilla told me that you’d have some clothes to spare.”

  
  


“O-oh! Of course! H-hold on a second, I think I’ve got something that might fit you.” Stumbled the monster, before running off outside of the room.

  
  


You grumbled under your breath. You were still wearing the hospital gown, and you were becoming increasingly uncomfortable with that fact. Not only did you feel uncomfortable with the amount of skin showing, but you also did not like the fact that you felt so genuinely vulnerable. With your pyjamas, it was different. They were a two-piece, covering your body from neck to your ankle. Admittedly it was rather childish, but it was a gift originally given to you by Miss Muffet, and everybody knew not to deny her gifts. You wore it to bed only on occasion, and while you wouldn’t willingly go out while in such treacherous clothing, with a hospital gown it seemed as if everything flipped on its head.

  
  


Alphys returned soon after you had grabbed your now-folded pyjamas. You turned to her, and your face dropped.

  
  


“I-I’m back! The shirt might be a bit baggy, but I’m afraid that it’s all I have…” Alphys apologized, holding the clothing before her.

  
  


The trousers and boots were decent enough. Looking at them, you knew that they would be a tiny bit tight on you, seeing as Alphys was a much smaller individual compared to you, but the t-shirt? My lord. 

  
  


Printed on the T-Shirt were many images of women from some sort of perverted manga merged together to create one big picture. It was all in black and white, to be expected, and each lady had her tongue sticking out, making the most lewd expression you’ve ever come across. In a bright red font, the word ‘HENTAI’ was labelled across the t-shirt, and honestly, you felt your soul leaving your body the exact same time Alphys had begun blushing.

  
  


Biting your tongue, your expression defeated, you hesitantly take the items out of her claws; “It’s fine, thank you.”

  
  


After changing into the pornographic clothes you had been given, you exited the room back into the hallway, your files and pyjamas stacked on top of eachother. You had to admit, you were rather relieved to be wearing genuine clothes, rather than your smelly and unhygienic pyjamas. Admittedly, this wasn’t exactly the sort of dress wear you were used to indulging yourself in, but for now, it would have to do. After all, you are going shopping for clothes tomorrow. Hopefully some hygiene products as well. They had no hair products in the household, nor body butter.

  
  


Just as expected, Sans and Papyrus had been sitting outside of the room, in plastic chairs that seemed a little bit too big for their sizes (for whatever reason). Sans seemed stiff, under pressure, yet Papyrus seemed cool as a cucumber - darn that phrasing.

  
  


“lieutenant commander.” Sans had greeted you, still sat, as he searched your form for any sort of injuries, eye light lingering on the crude t-shirt for a second.

  
  


You rolled your eyes at the pathetic display; “It was a purely physical-based exam, nothing too in-depth apart from a momentary soul scan.”

  
  


“i see.” Sans commented, disbelieving, before he stood to face your doctor; “well, thank you for your cooperation. i am most grateful, doctor.”

  
  


Alphys, who was still recovering from the embarrassment of having such a vulgar t-shirt, stuttered out a reply while waving her claws around. “Haha… oh no, it’s uh… just my job.”

  
  


Sans squinted down at the monster, while Papyrus finally stood up from behind you, and already began to nudge his pointed finger into your spine. You winced in pain each time he did so and gave a hearty glare towards his person. He seemed not to care of course. Not that you really expected him to.

  
  


With a scoff, Sans swivelled in place to exit the premises, you and Papyrus followed along behind him.

  
  


Scarlett, who had been watching from around the corner with Zofia, called out in a regimented droll: “Return in three weeks.”

  
  


“For another checkup!” Zofia added heartily.

  
  


“And for a meeting…” The final of the trio mumbled, nerves prominent in her tone.

  
  


When you entered the elevator, you felt increasingly distressed as the silence went on. Papyrus wasn’t being annoying, Sans wasn’t ranting, and yet, you felt as if there was some sort of unspoken conversation happening between the two skeletons on either side of you. They weren’t seriously still upset over the soul search thing, right? What absolute babies, you thought. To think that your captain would be so genuinely frazzled about such a simplistic matter irritated you to no end - it wasn’t that big of a deal. You expected such idiotic behaviour from the mutt, not someone you held in such high standard.

  
  


Suddenly, Sans’ skull swerved towards you, and you flinched as his hand gripped tightly onto your wrist, pulling you down slightly; “she didn’t touch you, did she?” He enquired lowly, and you spluttered at the authentic repulsion visible on his expression.

  
  


“She did.” You answered slowly, quickly continuing before he could get a word in. “But as I said, it was simply some basic human exams, nothing you should be worried about.”

  
  


You had lied, yes, but it was all in good faith. You don’t know what would happen to you three if Sans were to try to attack the Alphys of this universe.

  
  


“are you certain?” He glowered, eye light swaying over your form.

  
  


With a small, yet somewhat nervous grin, you reply with: “Do I ever lie?”

  
  


It was enough for Sans to go silent for a moment, yet Papyrus wasn’t adverse to calling out your bullshite. “Yeah.”

  
  


Fucking asshole, was all that was going through your mind at the time. He was, truly, a fucking asshole. He didn’t even know you all that well and yet he tried to make the situation harder for you!

  
  


“Do I ever lie about something as serious as this?” You corrected yourself, slightly annoyed.

  
  


“yes.” Sans huffed, a fresh wad of air blown into your face.

  
  


You rolled your eyes slightly, but still tried to maintain eye contact with Sans while doing so. He really was an idiot.

  
  


“Touché.”

  
  


Sans had instantly taken a couple steps before you when the elevator had opened, and while you were slightly irked by how close he was to stepping on your new boots, you tried to pay no mind to it, as Papyrus was now your target of irritation. You growled out a hateful remark towards the taller skeleton as you followed Sans through the long-winded hallways. Papyrus, of course, only snickered at your misfortune, and began to casually speed up, causing you to panic. He was going to bump you into Sans if he kept this up! - And that was something you were very much afraid of when he was in such a negative mood.

  
  


“everything good?” Vanilla questioned as soon as you reached the cafeteria.

  
  


It was a nice and discreet area, foldable tables vacant from any sort of presence or trash. It had a pleasant feel about it, yet, as soon as your eyes glanced over towards the skeleton squatting in the corner, your soul dropped. He was absolutely covered with cheese slices, ketchup, pickles, and honestly whatever you believed he could find. The cafeteria workers seemed so incredibly nonchalant about it, as if it was something that happened every time he was here. You expected no less.

  
  


Sans seemed to be thinking the exact same, as he was extremely hesitant to even answer his counterpart.

  
  


“yes.” He foretold, “it went… swimmingly.”

  
  


Vanilla squirted a barbeque sauce packet onto his teeth, allowing it to slowly fade away into the bone and disappear, before he pulled himself up from his seating position, plastic containers tumbling off of his form. In this state, he almost reminded you of Papyrus. But even you knew that Papyrus would never go so far, at least, you hoped.

  
  


“i see ya got some new clothes. looks good on you.” Vanilla commented with a cheeky grin, and you rolled your eyes, placing your hands on your hips.

  
  


“It’ll suffice for now. We are going shopping for more tomorrow, correct?” You questioned curtly.

  
  


Vanilla shrugged his shoulders, pulling some sort of old nokia phone from his pocket; “yeah. whatever. let’s jus’ go, paps is blowing up my phone with passive-aggressive voice messages.”

  
  
  


“what??????” Sans retorted, confused and mildly intrigued as to why his counterpart’s brother would be upset.

  
  


“ey, fuggedaboutit.” Vanilla enunciated, before suddenly everything went black.

  
  


You were back outside the car. For a second, you felt your soul flip, and you took a second to make sure that you didn’t pass out or throw up due to the sudden change in location and scenery. Papyrus had once again tried to lie his legs across the back seat, only to yelp when you slammed your shoe down on his foot. He hesitantly let you sit back in your rightful place, but continued to give you nasty looks when you weren’t looking.

  
  


As soon as Vanilla revved the engine of the car, a thought came to you: “Did you eat all the lunchables without paying?”

  
  


“who do you think i am? i don’t break promises like that, kid.” He snickered, “i left one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got my first fanart!!: https://arceal-doodles.tumblr.com/post/620749336340578304/hello-yes-i-dont-know-if-im-allowed-to-do-this
> 
> Chapter beta read by Glitterbug.


	5. Why Do Edgy Skeletons Have To Swear All The Time, Can't You Just Learn Proper Fucking English

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Creampuff makes MC a sandwich.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rather short chapter (each chapter is 3k+ words minimum) but a chapter nonetheless! Next chapter is the shopping chapter so it'll be rather long :))

The calendar that Creampuff had mentioned earlier that morning was a lot more complex than you had expected.

  
  


Each day, a duo of skeletons were tasked to finish distinct chores without fail. It was a simple process, with very open schedules if something came up, something that a simple Moldsmal would be able to complete with ease. From Monday to Friday, there were an abundance of errands to be made, and names such as ‘Blue, Papyrus, Black’ and ‘Edge’ were dotted around in different slots to signal who had been given which assignment. Below the calendar was some sort of chart with different doodled faces attached to it: some sort of star system?

  
  


You were surprised to see that your face already had a star next to it. Although, you supposed that it wasn’t much compared to the rest of the household; the stickers were small and held room for perhaps even hundreds to be placed in each sector. There were split regions for each person. Each were labelled as ‘underground’, ‘overground’, ‘space’, the moon’ and ‘the sun’. Blue and Creampuff had already reached the sun, their stickers accumulating on the wall as if there was some sort of unnamed category that they were wanting to reach. You guessed that it was some sort of way to push people to do good things.

  
  


There were also some names you did not recognise. You supposed that this ‘Black’ character was Cash’s brother, mainly due to the coarsely drawn image of himself. He was the one that had dubbed Papyrus as the one and only ass licker (you despised the crudity of it, but as time went on, you were beginning to realise why he had been designated in such a way. It had started becoming amusing to you). There were also names such as ‘Spooky’ and ‘Teddy’, with little cute little drawings that depicted two cute little bears, one short and stacky, and the other, with an insanely long torso. You had no clue why it was as such.

  
  


Then there were the names ‘Axe’ and ‘Crooks’ both scratched out very harshly with what you could only assume to be as bone. Their sector was completely blank, and their doodles were nonexistent. You assumed that they were troublemakers, or perhaps, were still hiding away in their rooms until they felt it necessary to try and escape. You pitied such a mindset, even if it was hypocritical to say.

  
  


“AH. I SEE YOU ARE ADMIRING MY CRAFT WORK!” A shrill voice cut you out of your thoughts, and you stumbled back with a shocked expression.

  
  


Creampuff stood next to you, seemingly coming from absolutely nowhere. His hands were behind his back, and you couldn’t help but notice that his scarf had been moved slightly to the left, allowing you to read the words written on his crop top: Bone Stud. You openly cringed.

  
  


“You made this?” You queried with a raised brow, “What are they even for?”

  
  


“WHY, TO ILLICIT GOOD DEEDS, OF COURSE!” Beamed the skeleton.

  
  


You had guessed just as much.

  
  


“I AM SAD TO SAY THAT WE DO NOT HAVE THE GREATEST OF MEMBERS WITHIN THIS HOUSEHOLD.” He admitted, “SOME OF THEM HAPPEN TO BE DOWNRIGHT ROTTEN TO THE BONE! NOT TO MENTION THEY HAVE NO SENSE OF CARE WHEN IT COMES TO SPEAKING WITH OTHERS!”

  
  


You felt as if he was trying to hint at the situation that occurred yesterday at dinner. Which was understandable, as while your group was very hostile, you were never so outwardly rude towards those you were trying to get along with.

  
  


“SO, I CREATED A CHART THAT WOULD ALLOW THE HOUSEHOLD TO ‘REACH FOR THE STARS’, AS YOU’D SAY! WITH EACH GOOD DEED YOU DO, YOU GET A STAR, AND AT EACH LEVEL YOU PASS, YOU RECEIVE SOMETHING YOU WOULD LIKE - FOR FREE!” Cheered Creampuff, and you raised an eyebrow at the statement. You’d have to let the captain know about this immediately.

  
  


“And what about my star?” You implored. “What exactly have I done to be rewarded with one?”

  
  


Creampuff froze for a second, lost in thought. And you couldn’t help but marvel at the way that his eye sockets creased up in the way that it did - he seemed a lot more cartoonish and malleable than the skeletons you knew, of which had much sharper features.

  
  


“OH! FORGIVE ME!” Chanted Creampuff, and you jumped at the sudden nature of his shouting. “I FORGOT TO ADD ANOTHER STAR TO YOUR CHART! I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOMETHING.”

  
  


That wasn’t what you had meant, but even so, you allowed him to reach into his trouser pockets to retrieve a small sticker sheet. He elegantly bent forward in some sort of ballerina-type pose, legs straight as a ruler as if he was trying to show off his non-existent butt. After staying in such a position for a long time and trying his very best to peel off the tiny star sticker on the sheet, you could see his eyes pop out of his sockets as he reeled his head back and projectile spat a large wad of pink saliva onto the chart. He ripped off the corner of the sticker sheet and practically slapped it onto where the saliva was situated. Your face showed nothing but pure disgust and shock as the gooey saliva dribbled down the walls.

  
  


Creampuff turned towards you, and you could feel the enthusiastic sparkles glimmering from his form. You tried not to cringe as you took note of the saliva on his hand.

  
  


“THERE! NOW YOU HAVE EXACTLY TWO STARS - IMPRESSIVE! A LOT OF THE OTHER EDGY-TYPE FELLOWS TOOK QUITE A WHILE TO EVEN ACCUMULATE ONE, AND YET, YOU ALREADY HAVE SO MANY. I AM ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDED BY YOUR CURRENT SUPERIORITY TO THE REST OF THE SKELETONS IN THIS HOUSEHOLD - OF COURSE, THOUGH, NO ONE IS SUPERIOR TO SOMEONE SUCH AS I. BUT YOU CATCH MY DRIFT.” He tilted his head to the side with a squint.

  
  


“UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU DO NOT. THEN I APOLOGISE. I WAS SIMPLY TRYING TO SAY THAT WHILE YOU ARE GREAT, YOU ARE NOT YET ON MY LEVEL!” Creampuff clenched his fists with enthusiasm, “A COUPLE MORE HUNDRED STICKERS AND YOU’LL BE SURE TO BE TO REACH THE SUN!”

  
  


The sun. Right. As much as the idea of receiving gifts due to improvement and basic politeness was intriguing to you, you had a strong sense that there wasn’t much this world had to offer that you were rather interested in receiving; at the very least, items that held barely no value.

  
  


“Uh-huh. Thanks.” You acknowledged, before crossing your arms. “But, what exactly did I do to warrant such stars? Not to mention the fact that the captain nor the mutt has received any. I have not exactly done anything out of the ordinary mind you.”

  
  


“WHY, YES YOU HAVE! YESTERDAY YOU VOLUNTEERED TO WASH THE DISHES! WHILE WEEKENDS ARE FREE DAYS WHEN IT COMES TO CLEANING, OF COURSE YOU WOULDN’T KNOW THAT. YOU EVEN BEGAN DOING THE EXACT SAME THIS MORNING AT BREAKFAST! SUCH COMPASSION YOU HOLD.” The skeleton affirmed, and you swore that you could see the faint flicker of dramatic tears in his eye sockets. “SPEAKING OF BREAKFAST, YOU HAVEN’T QUITE HAD LUNCH YET HAVE YOU? IT’S 4PM!”

  
  


You turned to look towards the clock. He was right. It had been six hours since you’d last eaten anything, and dinner was at 7pm - if you ate anything now, you wouldn’t have much room to eat your meal later on. You’d rather not waste food that people have prepared for you, even if they could potentially be a threat. It was unethical.

  
  


“No, I admit that I haven’t. But even so, I am willing to wait until dinner if that’s alright with you.” You conceded, and flinched when Creampuff’s expression turned rather powerful and angered.

  
  


“NONSENSE!” He boomed, “HUMANS NEED REGULAR SUSTENANCE, CORRECT? GO! SIT! I’LL MAKE YOU A QUICK SANDWICH. AT LEAST, THEN YOU WON’T FEEL SO GUILTY IF YOU CAN NOT FINISH YOUR MEAL AT DINNER TIME.”

  
  


As you were pushed out of the kitchen into the dining room, you tripped ever so slightly on the transition strip before extending your arms to keep yourself stable on the table. You turned back. Creampuff had locked the kitchen door. Although you weren’t necessarily going to head right back in there to protest, as arguing would’ve been a rather childish maneuver, you were still a little bit irked that he had the nerve to treat you as if you were some sort of raggedy Ann.

  
  


You huffed, dusted off your powder blue trousers, before giving a nasty glare towards the kitchen doors, almost as if you were certain that the said skeleton who was now making you some sort of sandwich would be able to take notice of such. You tried to ignore the insistent clatter of pots and pans on your way out. Why he needed such utensils to make a simple sandwich was unknown to you.

  
  


Sadly, you had just exited an interaction, only to be pulled into a new one.

  
  


“I FUCKIN’ TOLD YA! I FUCKIN’ TOLD YA YOU DUMB CUNT!” Red howled breathlessly.

  
  


You perked up and stared forward at the situation that occurred before you. Black was backed into a corner by both Cash and Red, the latter shouting right in his face as saliva sprayed everywhere, while Cash had his back turned to the two, counting through a small wad of bills. Red’s continuous screaming and Black’s genuine confusion and adherement intrigued you as to what was happening - were they having some sort of argument? You would’ve guessed so by what you had seen up to this point, but the fact that Red seemed so pleased and was wheezing from his mocking laughter made you think otherwise.

  
  


“what the fuck is happening?!” Sans questioned as you glanced towards the stairs; he practically whizzed down them, taking long strides as he slid to a stop at the bottom.

  
  


“YA GOT GOOFED! YA GOT SCAMMED AN’ THERE’S NOTHIN’ YOU CAN FUCKIN’ DO ABOUT IT!” Red hooted, bursting into a harsh round of belly laughter.

  
  


Black spluttered, his expressions varying as he was unsure as to what was exactly happening. “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING MELON?! WHERE IS MY SWITCH?!”

  
  


“IT’S UP YER ASS! ALONGSIDE THE FUCKIN’ G YOU SPENT TRYNA GET IT BACK!” Was Red’s answer, Cash chuckled lowly along with him.

  
  


“GIVE ME MY FUCKING SWITCH BACK!!!” Black snapped, taking an aggressive step forward. Red did not flinch.

  
  


“WHAT- YA LIKE ANIMAL CROSSING?! YOU A DAMN TWINK?! A FUCKIN’ LITTLE GAY BOY?!” Red aggrieved, getting closer and closer to his counterpart’s skull as Black had to take a couple of steps back due to the close proximity.

  
  


“WHAT I LIKE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!” Black huffed, his cheekbones glowing in humiliation.

  
  


“STOP FUCKING SHOUTING!” Sans interrupted, and you flinched at his animus tone.

  
  


He seemed to be having a bad day. Understandably so.

  
  


“tell me, what the fuck are you all arguing about? speak in turns before i start getting angry.” Sans ordered, marching forward and stopping before the trio.

  
  


You leant against the door frame. Your captain was ever so slightly taller than both Red and Black due to his heels, and while it wasn’t by much, Sans had this irrefutable talent of puffing himself up when in unfavourable situations. You were certain that he was trying to intimidate the two in some way or another, even if you couldn’t see much from this angle.

  
  


“HE STOLE MY FUCKING SWITCH.” Black barked, pointing towards Red. “AND TRIED TO BRIBE ME WITH IT.”

  
  


“Tried to? More like he succeeded.” Cash chuckled.

  
  


Black’s magic flared, “SHUT YOUR FUCKING M-”

  
  


“quiet! for god’s sake, you’re like children.” Sans heaved, pinching the area between his sockets. “you. the red one. give his fucking stuff back so he stops bawling like a baby.”

  
  


Red faltered for a moment, and even from halfway across the room, you could see the cogs turning in his idiotic little skull. His red eye light had dilated, as if he was shocked that someone was actually ordering him to do something, before he blinked and returned to an aggressive stance.

  
  


“fuck you! no way am i giving his shit back. s’mine now!” And he was gone.

  
  


Cash was gone also, which you had blinked at with a shocked expression - Papyrus can’t use shortcuts like Sans can, so why could Cash? You’d just chalk it all up to Red shortcutting him away at the same time, he could do that, right?

  
  


Black clutched the corners of his skull in rage, before he reeled out a pathetic screech: “HE FUCKING GOT AWAY! THIS IS YOUR FAULT, MOUTH BREATHER! ARGH!”

  
  


He, also, disappeared, leaving Sans to seethe in anger at the recurring insult. You let out an amused huff, before striding on forward next to him; he looked like he was ready to explode, but soon calmed down after a couple seconds of silence. You eyed him carefully before you decided to speak, just in case he was still rather enraged.

  
  


“What just happened?” You questioned warily.

  
  


“i have no clue.” Sans let out a loud sigh, relaxing his shoulders and reeling his head back.

  
  


“OH DEAR!” A loud voice cut in, and both you and your captain jumped from your places.

  
  


“IT SEEMS AS IF RED AND CASH ARE BACK TO THEIR SHENANIGANS AGAIN! DO NOT WORRY, COMPATRIOTS, I’M CERTAIN THAT BLACK WILL HAVE HIS SWITCH BACK IN NO TIME!” Creampuff cheered, balancing a plate on top of his skull as he continued to speak with his hands; “I AM NOT QUITE CERTAIN ABOUT HIS MONEY THOUGH. CASH HAS PROBABLY ALREADY HIDDEN IT AWAY SOMEWHERE. THAT SCOUNDREL.”

  
  


After a moment of unnecessary dramatic tension, Creampuff bends down towards you so you could reach the plate on top of his head. There was your sandwich, burnt, yet somehow wet, bare, yet somehow smelt like old sopping cheese. You had no idea what was in it, but you swore that you could see some sort of neon liquid dripping out from the corners of the bread slices.

  
  


“EITHER WAY - HERE IS YOUR SANDWICH, DEAR FRIEND!” Creampuff allowed you to take the plate, before turning towards your captain. “I WOULD HAVE MADE ONE FOR YOU, WINE, BUT YOU WEREN’T EXACTLY THERE AT THE TIME. FEEL FREE TO MAKE ONE YOURSELF IF YOU DEEM IT NECESSARY! I AM OFF TO FINISH SOME MENIAL HOUSEHOLD CHORES THAT I HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED TO! SAYONARA, MIS AMIGOS!”

  
  


Both Sans and yourself gawked as Creampuff began walking up to the top floor - without actually touching anything physical. You don’t see that every day. Sans turned to you with a similar thought in mind, and you caught gazes for a moment.

  
  


“what is a… ‘switch’?” 

  
  


“I think it’s a kink thing.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


“yes, yes, tell me something i don’t know!” Sans wailed, pacing through his room with such intensity that you were almost certain that his footprints would be able to leave an everlasting trail.

  
  


You gulped back saliva. You had gone through every little piece of information you had gathered that day: the jobs, the town, etc, etc. And yet, it seemed as if Sans was already one step ahead of you with everything. Dinner wasn’t anything to marvel at, another situation similar to the night prior, only this time without a lot of unnecessary arguments. Stretch had decided to sit next to you and tried to strike up some friendly conversations, but it soon became very awkward, so you both had some sort of unspoken agreement to not commune with one another for the rest of the night. Red seemed troubled and ignored practically everyone who tried to bring him into consultation; his brother seemed to be an outlier though, as every time Edge, Red would add on a little quip simply meant to annoy. You were very irked by his behaviour, but didn’t mention anything whatsoever.

  
  


“Well, sir, the Creampuff had told me about the reasons behind the star chart.” You continued.

  
  


“i know about that also!!!” Sans preached, and you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes as he dramatically laid himself across the window sill, stretching his leg out; he reminded you of Napstaton.

  
  


You allowed him to take a quick breather to calm himself down, glancing over at Papyrus who had somehow managed to snag an explicit magazine holding many naked monsters, and was flipping through it in interest. That time you did roll your eyes, since it was a completely absurd thing to have been reading through at such a time.

  
  


“forgive me, lieutenant commander. i am… not exactly in the best mindset today.” Your captain grumbled, placing his palm on his forehead in an exasperated manner.

  
  


“Don’t apologise, sir, I understand.” You replied, eyes trailing over his form.

  
  


He was most definitely stressed, not only shown in the way he was acting but also in his way of dress. He didn’t even have his scarf on correctly for god’s sake!

  
  


“tomorrow, we will be going… ‘shopping’.” Sans started, standing from his position and turning to look out the window. “i would like for you to help me gather materials so i can properly recreate your old uniform. for now, you should continue wearing more casual attire.”

  
  


You blinked, “Sir, you don’t have to-”

  
  


“do not take it the wrong way, lieutenant commander.” He added, holding his open palm out in a stop motion, “it is my job as your captain to provide you with such luxuries.”

  
  


Your eyes softened, “Either way, thank you.”

  
  


Comforting silence swept over the both of you, and you couldn’t help but let out a small sigh of relief. It had been a while since you had worn your uniform; you felt bare without it in all honesty, as if there was nothing covering what you truly were - a human, who, years ago, happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. A failure of a person, a broken soul of just.

  
  


“good night, lieutenant commander.” Your captain muttered, and you flinched.

  
  


Of course. He wanted you to leave. Expected, since you had been staring off into space for a while longer than usual, it had probably made him rather uncomfortable, perhaps even annoyed. You bowed slightly.

  
  


“Good night, sir. Mutt.” You glanced swiftly towards said skeleton, who, in response, stuck out his golden tongue and blew a raspberry at you with a mischievous expression. Typical gremlin.

  
  


You rolled your eyes at the childish action, before leaving the room with a twirl on the ball of your foot. Passing by the doors that accompanied said floor, you paused at one, left slightly ajar. You had not yet seen this one open yet, you had assumed that it was empty or perhaps even locked, though you never had enough time to try and check. The intrigue was killing you. You leant forward and peaked through the small crack.

  
  


From what you could see, it was just your average bedroom, very similar to your own but less… pink, and feminine. It seemed incredibly messy, heaps of clothes and items piled away in one big hill - there were containers and plates alongside too. Although most of it had seemed to have gone off, hence the flies and mouldy potatoes. You couldn’t help but wonder who was in there, who had decided to live in such a horrific mess. One of the fame brothers, perhaps? You hoped that he was, at the very least, a charming individual, as if he had a personality as repulsive as his cleaning habits, you were fairly certain that you would not get on.

  
  


A small noise of fear escaped your throat, and you rushed from your position down the hall to your own room. You locked it right behind you, pushing your weight right against the door to make sure that nobody will be able to break in from behind. You tried to calm your beating heart.

  
  


As you had stared into the chamber, a blood red eyeball decided to stare right back at you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologise first hand. Red, Cash, nor any of the edgy characters are good people, nor are they meant to be. Red does not speak politically correctly, like, at all, and while I want to address that down the road, at the moment, he's going to have to stay like he is :(( either way, MC won't be saying such offensive things, nor will Wine and Coffee, so at least it's not in your face all the time! :))
> 
> Also if you don't get why it was an eyeball instead of an eyelight,,,,,, well,,,, read Sour Apple Studios' comic,,,,,


	6. Dancing Santa and Wearing a Princess Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and your boys go shopping.

“i feel very uncomfortable.” Sans informed you, and you couldn’t help but agree.

  
  


You had only just arrived in town when you finally took notice of the incredulous amount of humans. Of course, you knew that there would be many around, as when driving to Alphys’ lab (hospital?), you had gone through the exact same area, but you just hadn’t known that there would be so many!

  
  


“lol, mood.” Vanilla replied in a calm manner, still trudging along forward as he followed his brother.

  
  


Sans sped up to match his counterpart’s pace, a weary expression plastered across his skull; “no, i mean, i feel extremely uncomfortable. going-to-throw-up uncomfortable.”

  
  


“nut’in i can do about it!” Vanilla shrugged, before his eye sockets creased up in amusement, “heheh, nut in.”

  
  


The town, the one you now know as ‘Human Town’, was a maze of winding streets and unusual cafes. Every building was different, unique singular pieces of architecture that pieced together like a solved jigsaw puzzle - no building, area, or construction was left without one-another, it was almost as if this town was meant simply for aesthetic purposes instead of an incorporated community. It was compact, yet, did not seem claustrophobic in the least, rather the opposite.

  
  


Beneath your boots, snow and grit crunched, and your eyes darted from building to building in utter awe. Many humans and monsters wore knitted clothing, covered from head to toe in comfortable winter outfits. You momentarily wondered if it seemed strange that you weren’t wearing something to keep you warm, but you quickly forgot about such a thought when you took notice of the pastel fairy lights being hung on top of a large christmas tree in some sort of flower shop (you did, also take note of the glowing echo flowers out front).

  
  


“HUMAN MC! COME HERE! WE ARE NOT YET IN TOWN CENTRE, AND YET THERE ARE ALREADY PRETTY NEAT SHOPS!” Creampuff waved you over.

  
  


You glanced over to where he was pointing at: an oddly-orchestrated skateboard shop. The human staring out through the glass window gave you a friendly wave, you did not wave back.

  
  


“paps, haven’t we already been through here, like, a thousand times?” Vanilla inquired teasingly.

  
  


Creampuff vibrated in response, “YES!! BUT THE EXCITEMENT NEVER WEARS OFF!!!”

  
  


You watched numbly as the taller skeleton ran off into the distance, his brother slowly following along behind him. You felt somewhat uncomfortable being in such friendly company, especially with the implications of said skeletons buying you and your allies clothes and whatever was needed; you did not want them to get the wrong idea, even if the plan involved befriending them (to an extent). You admittedly felt a slither of pity towards them - the just within your soul swayed you to go by your limited sense of morale, but your brain kept you afloat. Sans was your captain, you went by his command and his only.

  
  


“Hey. Lookie here.” Papyrus called, and you turned towards him.

  
  


He was stood over by some sort of post office, staring into a metal case of which showed the latest newspapers. You glanced over at the others. Sans knew where you were, so you were okay with wondering off for a few moments.

  
  


“A blind, deaf, mute ‘uman was arrested for homicide last night.” Papyrus murmured, his tips of his phalanges tapping against the glass, before his sockets caught your own; “It was a senseless murder.”

  
  


A couple moments passed, and you felt more irritated by the second. His jokes were always so idiotic.

  
  


“That’s not funny.” You told him.

  
  


Papyrus rolled his sockets, straightening his spine. “Do ya even have a sense of humour?”

  
  


“I do. It’s just that you’re not funny.” You countered with furrowed brows.

  
  


“Ouch. ‘m hurt.” Scoffed said skeleton.

  
  


“i am.” Sans’ voice informed you, concerning humour, and you turned to face him.

“i used to work in comedy.” His expression was stoic, before a hint of mischief flickered in his eye light. “they say that i was pretty… rib-tickling.”

  
  


Papyrus let out an ungodly groan of distraught, while you tried to cover your smile with your finger tips. This was the sort of thing that made you laugh, not crudely put-together jokes such as the ones Papyrus made. Another thing to commend your captain for - although, you have to admit, you had never heard him mention his old comedian work. You would have guessed that it was simply a set up for the pun, but something about the way he looked at you made you feel as if there were truth behind it.

  
  


Suddenly, you were lifted up by your shoulders, and you let out a barbarous scream of shock. It was only Creampuff though, and while you did not enjoy the fact that he had tucked you under his armpit, you had to admit, you were rather surprised that the bag of bones could carry you without using his magic. You had never seen Sans or Papyrus try to do such a task.

  
  


“WOW, MUCH FUNNY, VERY LAUGHTER. I AM QUITE LITERALLY ROLLING ON THE FLOOR BECAUSE MY ASS HAS FALLEN OFF!” Chanted the tall skeleton, before jogging off into the distance, with you still in his grasp. “NOW STOP WITH THE GAMES AND LET’S HURRY UP TO THE TOWN CENTER! THE CINNAMON PRETZELS ARE OFF BY 50% ON TUESDAYS!”

  
  


The cinnamon pretzels were really good.

  
  


You admittedly were never a fan of pretzels, you believed them all to be too salty and dry, but after trying some of “Auntie Annabelle’s” fantastic pastries, you were hooked. The underlying taste of sweet maple and sugary delights had made you convince Creampuff to buy a couple more than expected, and while you wished to save some for your compatriots, you also knew that you were a huge glutton when it came to sweets and foods you enjoyed. They were having none.

  
  


Creampuff had dragged you to many stores within the day, some of which were absolutely out of the question. The first happened to be a small shop in the middle of town centre; it was filled with blacks and greys from head to toe, and littered with pentagram patterns. You did not like that store. The second was decent - seemed to be one of the more popular of the bunch, as not only were there an abundance of people darting around, but you also noticed that the prices were a lot lower than what you’d expect. They must get great revenue and an incredible amount of customers if they were to keep their prices so low.

So far, you had a small bag worth of clothing. You had picked up some basic formal wear from the cheap shop, alongside some underwear (of which Creampuff, for whatever reason, decided he wanted to pick out for you. You did not like the strawberry design, but paid it no mind). You still had to buy a new pair of pyjamas, a jacket and some basic toiletries before you could start looking for stuff to decorate your room with. Very early on into the shopping experience, you had admitted to Vanilla and Creampuff that you despised the aesthetic of your room and wished to morph it into something more ‘you’. They understood.

  
  


Sans and Papyrus had gone off on their own ways a while ago, presumably to find materials to reconstruct your guard uniform. You were sure that it would take a while, so as you sat on a bench overlooking a small park, you waited for Creampuff to call your name. There were cinnamon grains building up on your thighs.

  
  


You were conflicted. Watching both monster and human children playing on the park contraptions really made you feel as if there was something wrong with you - something wrong with the way your brain now worked. Long ago, you were an incredibly impartial person, never taking anyone’s bullshit, while also being calm and professional. Your morale was strong, heightened to the point where you had gotten in trouble many times for your quick wit and dislike towards anything that you deemed immoral.

  
  


While you were still very much the same in a way, you were less eager to jump to someone’s defence unless needed. Your sense of morale had dimmed; what was once a blinding light turned null and void of barely any sort of illumination. You had been beaten into submission by those with higher positions than yourself.

  
  


Even so, you felt as if it was an acceptable change considering your former circumstance. Being pulled down into the murky depths of hell does that to a person.

  
  


Approaching footsteps cut you from your thoughts and you glanced to your left - it was Sans, carrying two humongous paper bags in his grip. You must’ve looked like an idiot to him: covered in cinnamon, cheeks filled like a chipmunk while you tried not to grin at the fact that he was strutting as if he was going to start making that slutty money.

  
  


“Dib chu thind-” You started, before you paused to swallow the pretzel sticks that you had stuffed your face with.

  
  


“Did you find what you were looking for?” You inquired, and your captain let out a loud, relieved huff as he sat down next to you.

“yes, but…” Sans started, before stretching his spine. “sadly not a lot of it was up to my standards. expensive, yet the quality is awful!”

  
  


You winced, “I see. Found any blacksmiths or forgers around?”

  
  


With a scoff, Sans rolled his eye light, waving his hand around as if you had just told some sort of hilarious joke; “pah! i sent my brother out for that. it would take hours for us to find someone who could properly recreate your head piece. he’s unbothered by the prospect of buying new clothes.”

  
  


He took note of your sideways glance, tightening his jaw, “if you’re thinking about Papyrus’ lack of care towards the field, then don’t bother. while i agree that he’s certainly lazy and crude in some aspects, he is very reliable when being given a task, surely you would’ve noticed that by now.”

  
  


A mocking sneer stretched across your lips; you glanced back down at your pretzels. “The mutt and I don’t get along well, sir. Surely you would’ve noticed that by now.”

  
  


“child’s play. he’s all over you like a dog in heat and yet you still have yet to drive him away! i’m not as oblivious as you think.” Sans surmised, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

  
  


Your heart stopped, worry clawing at the strings, “What?”

  
  


“you seriously haven’t noticed? honestly. i really am babysitting a bunch of hooligans!” Ridiculed the skeleton, raising his hands up in the air as if praising the lord. “my little brother never stops talking about you when we’re alone. it’s extremely bothersome and highly inappropriate.”

  
  


Even with that information, you were still rather confused - what on earth was he trying to tell you? That Papyrus was secretly talking shit to your captain behind your back? Honestly, you wouldn’t be all that surprised.

  
  


“With all due respect, I still don’t get what you’re trying to say, sir.” Suddenly, some sort of realisation fell upon you; you jolted to an upright position, “Oh god, is he in love with me?”

  
  


Sans let out an incredulous guffaw of amusement, and for a moment, you could help but feel embarrassed to even mention anything revolving love to him. That soon faded away when he spoke up.

  
  


“heaven’s, no! monsters and humans just don’t mix like that. especially skeleton monsters, it’d be unnatural to involve ourselves with such a lower species.” He chuckled, and you squinted your eye lids at him in a somewhat offended manner.

  
  


“You say that, and yet, you screamed and cried when you first saw me naked.” You could barely finish your sentence before the skeleton let out a loud squawk of embarrassment, obviously trying to get the image of you in the shower out of his head.

  
  


“it was a natural response!!!!” He screeched, hiding his eye sockets in his gloves as you laughed; carmine traveled up his skull.

  
  


The air was crisp. Refreshing. 

  
  


“but no. my brother does not love you, so no need to stress yourself over it.” Sans consoled you, and you hummed in response.

  
  


You had a complicated relationship with Papyrus. He annoyed the fuck out of you and was a complete arsehole to be around, but sometimes, only sometimes, did you enjoy his company. Instead of going after each other, you both bitched about someone else. It was sublime; you couldn’t make much sense out of it. But it was a relationship you had nonetheless, whether he actually liked you, you had no idea, as he was never one for showing his true emotions about a subject unless he was ordered to by his brother. At least with Sans, you knew outright that the respect you had for one another dug deeper than what was outwardly obvious - a friendship, perhaps.

  
  


Even then, you couldn’t help but gag at that prospect.

  
  


“MC! MC!! I FOUND SOMETHING YOU’D LIKE!!!” Bellowed Creampuff from the other side of town, and you jumped from your seat, dread spreading across your features.

  
  


“Oh god.” Was all you croaked, causing Sans to raise his brow at your expense.

  
  


Noticing his confusion and slight worry, you clarified; “He’s either found an extremely explicit mermaid bikini again or he’s trying to trick me to wear that teacup princess costume.”

  
  


Sans blinked, “the what?”

  
  


“Wish me luck.” You sighed, remorseful, as you headed along to follow along to where Creampuff’s voice came from.

  
  


There were so many humans, all seemingly friendly and all carrying expressions or relaxation or glee. You felt out of place. With your tightened jaw and unyielding scowl, you were certain that you intimidated those around you - which was a good thing, it means that you’re less likely to be involved in a conversation or have someone come up to you. Even so, a small part of you wished that you were a bit more approachable. But you quickly pushed such a thought to the back of your mind as soon as it came.

  
  


Creampuff was in some sort of high-end store, his looming form standing out from the rest of the much smaller residents. He held some sort of fabric in his hands, but from the angle at the front of the store, you were unable to take a proper look at it. So you headed on over to his side, and what you saw made your eye twitch.

  
  


“DO YOU LIKE IT???” Creampuff asked, holding out the oversized white t-shirt between the tips of his phalanges, so you’d be able to see the print.

  
  


It was a huge block of text, stating “You can’t always rise above. You can’t always take the high road. If everybody rose above or took the high road every single time, there would be no way to go any higher. We would run out of vertical room rapidly. You can see why this would be a problem.”

  
  


With each letter, you felt as if your brain was about to explode.

  
  


“No.” You stated, and Creampuff vibrated.

  
  


“GOOD! BECAUSE THIS ONE’S FOR SANS!” He cheered, before reaching under his shirt to pull out another piece of clothing and holding it in the sky; “HERE’S YOURS!”

  
  


Your eyes widened at the sight of a stunning ruffled chiffon blouse that was absolutely your size. It had front buttons fastening through the ruffled area, and buttoned cuffs that would fit tightly around your wrists; you couldn’t believe that the t-shirt from earlier came from the very same store as this one, it was almost unreasonable!

  
  


“NEAT-O, RIGHT???” Grinned Creampuff, glad to see your somewhat fond gaze on the clothing item.

  
  


“Yeah. Uh, thanks.” You bristled awkwardly, taking it from his grasp as you tried to ignore the prying looks of other customers, “It’s my style.”

  
  


“I JUST KNEW IT!! I’M SO GLAD!” Creampuff cheered happily, “SANS SAID THAT YOU’D MUCH PREFER SOMETHING WITH PRETTY BUTTERFLY WINGS, AND WHILE, I ADMIT, I’D LOVE TO SEE YOU ALL DOLLED UP IN SUCH A HUMILIATING OUTFIT, I FIND IT A RATHER CRUEL FATE! WHAT IF YOU DIE IN IT?! IMAGINE THE POLICE FINDING THE CORPSE OF A MIDDLE-AGED HUMAN WEARING A TINY BUTTERFLY BALLERINA COSTUME!! YOU’D BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF HELL!!!”

  
  


The only thing you could think after that abnormal statement was ‘what the fuck’, suddenly feeling somewhat sick to the stomach and very existentially aware.

  
  


“I’m twent-” You tried to correct, only to be cut off by Creampuff pushing you forwards towards the changing rooms.

  
  


“GO GET CHANGED, HUMAN MC! I AM RATHER EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU’D LOOK LIKE IN SUCH CLOTHING!” He sang, handing you a small heap of neatly folded apparel, alongside a large plastic bag, “OH!!! AND THERE’S ALSO SOMETHING ELSE I LEFT IN THAT BAG THERE THAT I ALREADY BOUGHT FOR YOU! I WANT YOU TO TRY IT! TRUST ME!”

  
  


Giving a somewhat suspicious glance his way, you headed towards the changing area, taking a room stop from an overly cheerful woman. 

  
  


It seemed as if Creampuff had finally started to understand the sort of clothes that you felt comfortable with wearing, as they were all very similar in style. Perhaps too many dresses and too little pants, but he had the overall idea. You were particularly fond of the tie up cotton top, the pastel yellow held so much warmth and resonated with your soul - and yet, you knew that you’d feel uncomfortable wearing it. It was too pretty to be worn by such a tainted person. You kept it anyways.

  
  


After deciding what you wanted to keep and what you wanted to get rid of, you glanced back over at the seat accompanying the changing room. You hadn’t yet taken a look inside the plastic bag. You were rather curious as to what the Creampuff had bought you, and why he was so excited to see what you thought of it - god, did you hope it was something actually presentable.

  
  


It was not.

  
  


You forced yourself to hold in the gag that was trying to escape your throat as you stared down at the frilly princess dress. It was the exact same dress you had to physically force Creampuff not to buy earlier in the day; it was a bright neon pink, accompanied by equally awful shades of yellows and blues. It seemed as if it was trying to take inspiration from a giant mishmash of feminine and girly aspects from early childhood. Hints of unicorns, puppies, butterflies were what you could make out, but the most popular theme happened to be teacups. Inside the dress was some sort of metallic cage to keep the dress puffed out, something of which you were uncertain as to how Creampuff had fit in the bag.

  
  


With flaring nostrils, you left the changing room and passed on some of the unwanted items of clothing to one of the workers. Creampuff stood outside of the store, talking to Vanilla, who was happily wearing the new t-shirt which had been bought for him. He was staring at you through the glass windows with a smug expression on his skull. You flipped him off and paid for your clothes.

  
  


Creampuff spun around on the soles of his shoes as soon as he heard the door chime, “DID YOU LIKE IT???

  
  


“I HOPE YOU LIKED IT BECAUSE HONESTLY IT WAS A LOT OF MONEY AND I KNOW THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU WEREN’T GONNA WEAR IT BUT IT LOOKED TOO CUTE AND SEEMED AS IF IT WAS CALLING FOR ME TO GET IT FOR YOU-”

  
  


“I’m not wearing it.” You stated harshly, throwing the dress at his skull.

  
  


It slid down into his arms. For the first time ever, you saw Creampuff’s face go blank. 

  
  


“OH.” He blinked.

  
  


Vanilla glanced up at his brother, before turning to you with a nervous smile, “hey, uh, c’mon kid, can’t you just put it on for, like, a day or sumthin’?”

  
  


“NO, NO, IT’S FINE, SANS. I UNDERSTAND.” Creampuff started, raising his hand up in a show of mercy. “IT’S JUST… I…”

  
  


He seemed exhausted, perhaps a little bit hurt, and for a moment, you felt Vanilla’s demeanour change ever so slightly. He didn’t seem angry, nor upset, just… disappointed. Disappointed in you. Now, that was a blow to the gut.

  
  


“I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW CONSIDERATE YOU ARE!!!” Creampuff cheered, and you froze in your place.

  
  


You looked like a deer in headlights, “Wh-”

  
  


“TO THINK THAT YOU’D HAVE THE HEART TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO WAIT FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS!!! I AM ABSOLUTELY ENTHRALLED WITH YOUR SELF-CONTROL!!!! YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO TEACH ME HOW YOU DO IT.” He sang, before bending down to look at you with an expression of pure elation. “THAT’S ONE EXTRA STAR FOR YOU! WELL DONE! NYEH-HEH-HEH-HEH!”

  
  


And then, he was gone. Laughing into the sunset. You simply could not form the words to describe what had just occurred, nor were you able to understand it.

  
  


“Are… Are you kidding me?” Was all you muttered.

  
  


Vanilla shrugged with a gleeful expression, sticking his hands in his pockets and looking at you from the corners of his eye sockets. The employees from inside the shop looked rather confused watching the situation occur without sound.

  
  


“nope. seems that the teacup dress is saved for special occasions.” He chuckled, before he caught your eyes. “ya better not disappoint my brother, who knows what will happen if you do?”

  
  


Your soul clenched as soon as the words came from his skull. Silence overcame you both. It was tense. The wind had begun to pick up ever so slightly, flowing through your hair. It was cold. The world was bitter.

  
  


“Are you threatening me, good sir?” You questioned lowly.

  
  


“nah. just sayin’.” Said skeleton shrugged, his grin as casual as ever, before he turned to give you a meaningful look in his eye lights; “we just have a rather protective household, you know.”

  
  


Within a second of saying that, he had disappeared, leaving you in the dust to consider what he had said.

  
  


In the end, you didn’t get everything you wanted. Creampuff had ended up dragging you along food shopping on the pretense that it would only take a couple of minutes - it took three hours. By the time you were done, it was getting fairly dark outside, so it was decided that you would all head back to the house.

  
  


At least you managed to buy some basic bathroom essentials during the time you were with him. You had shampoos, conditioners, and even some moisturizers. You were about to snag some detangler products for your hair, but you were quickly pulled away by Creampuff to the cereal aisle. It wasn’t all that bad, you didn’t necessarily need new pyjamas yet (nor a jacket). While it was something that you’d rather have than not, you could always just sleep in your underwear. Not that big of a deal.

  
  


When you arrived back at the house, it was pitch black out. Which you weren’t all that pleased with, as it was only 5pm. But it wasn’t as if it made much of a difference, it only made travelling back to the house much eerier. Papyrus was still nowhere to be found.

  
  


“MX MC! I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE!! YOUR SCARF! IT’S SO!!! PROFESSIONAL!!!!” Blue gasped, jogging up to you as soon as the door swung open.

  
  


You grasped the scarf wrapped tightly around your neck. Sans had picked it out for you, said that the colour suited your eyes - whatever that meant.

  
  


“Thanks.” You held out the bags in your hands, “I have more.”

“OOOH! SHOW ME! SHOW ME!” Blue bounced, and you forced yourself to keep a neutral expression - he annoyed the fuck out of you.

  
  


Stretch pulled the vibrating skeleton away by the shoulder, giving you an apologetic look, “Maybe another time, bro. Let the human relax.”

  
  


“I’M RELAXING!! VERY!!!” Blue puffs out his cheeks, before pausing, thinking over the conversation. “OKAY, MAYBE NOT, BUT STILL!”

  
  


You looked between the two wearily, before letting out a loud huff, “I’m just going to go put these away.”

  
  


Stretch watched you escape up the stairs in a hurry, giving a nervous glance towards your Sans, of whom had been glaring at him since he entered the room. He quickly tried to start a conversation with Vanilla, who had sat himself down on one of the couches.

  
  


“Did you get anything, dude?” Stretch asked.

  
  


Vanilla paused for a moment, before letting out a low chuckle, pulling out something from his pocket; “yeah.”

  
  


It was a tiny, dancing Santa robot, throwing it back.

  
  


* * *

  
  


You felt uncomfortable heading up the stairs. Not only were you being watched from below, but you were still rather nervous about the situation that occurred last night. That glowing red eye ball - or was it an eye light? You were uncertain, it seemed too detailed and humane to be something a skeleton monster could conjure up.

  
  


Perhaps it was just stress that caused a hallucination. You hoped, at least, as if there truly was a skeleton hoarding away that much rotting food with a human eye ball in his socket, then you were about to have a fucking panic attack. Don’t mess with demons, or anything similar to something of such horrors. You will come home one day to zombie possums invading the walls or some shit - you had watched way too many shitty b movies when you were younger.

  
  


With a nervous glance towards said area, you couldn’t help the discrete sigh of relief that escaped you when you realised that it was shut. No more creepy eyeballs, you hoped. So, as you reached your bedroom door, you reached out towards the handle to open it, only to pause as a large shadow draped over your form. You turned slowly, only to let out a small shriek of shock when the figure kicked his leg upon the wall beside you. You were trapped.

  
  


“Heard you were talkin’ shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you all know, I was in bed surrounded by empty lucozade cans (I drank approximately six) and candy when writing up this chapter. Hope you enjoy that image,,,,
> 
> ALSO!! FANART!! By one of our wonderful server users :)) It's what Wine looks like in the fic! She doesn't like the way the hat turned out but I think it looks super cute!! I lub,,,, https://missbiter.tumblr.com/post/621544342520217600/soraskulls-drew-my-boy-very-cute
> 
> Beta read by Kopiccino


	7. Stinkin Rat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC and Papyrus have an altercation.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You hissed, eyes fixated on the figure before you.

  
  


It was Papyrus - of course it was Papyrus. He had gone missing early in the shopping trip, after Sans had instructed him to find a forger and for all you knew, hadn’t returned. You had to wonder, how did he enter the house without being driven back with the lot of you? Even so, you weren’t going to let the asshole try and get a win over you by cowering away, not as if such an imbecile could ever frighten you.

  
  


His leg was as straight as a ruler as it nudged closer to your jaw, his hands in his pockets as he studied you with an unreadable expression. On his cranial bone was a green fedora, fit with a red feather and everything. You had to guess that it was some sort of idiotic joke that he made up that would come up later in conversation. He shrugged, a nonchalant grin across his skull.

  
  


“Intimidating you. ‘s it workin’?” Papyrus mused, and you scoffed, angered at the premise.

  
  


Grabbing his leg and pushing it down from the wall, you took a step closer towards the skeleton. “No. Now what do you want, beanstalk?”

  
  


“Isn’t it obvious? I put the fedora on an’ everythin’.” He sniggered, and you rolled your eyes at his childishness, before turning back to your bedroom door.

  
  


“Whatever. I’m going to go put my stuff away.” Was what you huffed, before opening to enter, the bags had begun to weigh heavy in your grasp.

  
  


You flinched momentarily when Papyrus took a step in front of you, blocking your path into freedom from his antics. At this point, you were getting angry, irritation flaring up in the pit of your stomach; you were going to lose your cool very soon if he continued with this abhorrent behaviour.

  
  


“Hey-yo, no way. I ain’t lettin’ ya go that quick.” Papyrus grinned mischievously, before faltering slightly as you pushed right on past his solid structure.

  
  


“Then tell me what you fucking want already so I can go sort my shit.” You grunted, laying your bags upon the bed and deciding to sort through them.

  
  


Papyrus let out a low whistle, “Ooooh, gettin’ feisty are we?”

  
  


You hissed in response, giving him a side eye, before turning back towards the many clothes and items piled across the sheets; “You’re impossible.”

  
  


“Thanks, I try.” He chuckled, leaning against the bedroom door, which he had just closed, “Seriously though, I need to talk with ya.”

  
  


Squinting, you gave him a look of what one could only describe as irritability and minor uncertainty, before you sighed, grabbing onto a small pile of foldable items. You took them to one of the drawers in your cupboards and begun to tidy them away in their allocated places.

  
  


“Make it quick.” You informed him.

  
  


You could feel his gaze upon you, watching every slightest movement of your anatomy and glossing his sight upon the finer details. He was fascinated with the human body, less in a sexual sense, as that was a rather gross idea, and more or less with the concept of how such a mass of tissues and blood vessels would be able to work. On occasion would he have the chance to simply observe you, the only human he had ever come across in his life, and he would savour it to the very last second.

  
  


Underground, things were rough. There was barely any sort of interaction with those above. Seldom, items would fall from the surface, into the abyss of darkness. On the off chance that they would pile up and form a durable structure, Papyrus would be able to take a couple of features from said junk. Sometimes, it would be a new t-shirt. Sometimes, an easily fixable mug he believed Sans would enjoy. Very rarely was it anything that held any significant ideology towards humans and their overall culture.

  
  


On one occasion, Papyrus had managed to find a television disk, involving some sort of family in an area called Canada. It was a bad romantic-comedy, and he would watch it constantly - from day to night, you would find Papyrus watching each and every season until he grew tired. It wasn’t the humour that kept him going, nor the romance, but rather, the interactions instead.

  
  


All of the humans were so kind to each other, so trusting. And on the off chance that a character that was considered ‘bad’ in their standards showed up, they would usually have some sort of redemption arc or tragic backstory for the way that they acted. Papyrus was always brought up to believe that the crown was right, that he should strive to be an unflappable monster of which continued to stay trusting of the royal family until he dusted - yet, the conflict in such a show was very minimalistic compared to what he was taught to know. It made him feel strange, as if there was something missing in his life, something he was unable to comprehend. And then, he met a human in the flesh.

  
  


Tearful, puffy eyes. Tangled, dirty hair. You were in such a state when he first came across from you, clawing desperately at the trap that had been clamped onto your ankle. He should have called Sans straight away to capture you, or perhaps killed you himself, but yet, he didn’t. He simply watched as blood oozed from your wound, futile cries of help escaping your lacerated lips - you were fascinating. The way your veins popped out from your flexing wrists, your nostrils flaring with each rugged breath, everything about you intrigued him. He wanted to know more about human anatomy; it wasn’t until you passed out from blood loss, did he call Sans to take you to the capitol.

  
  


Papyrus chuckled lowly. You still had that very same scar.

  
  


Even to this day, he had no true knowledge of how you had changed. The shift from such a fearful little child to a powerful human had been so sudden, it almost felt as if he had skipped years of his lifetime to reach this point, and yet, he remembered every second of each day of it. You were still the very same teenager that had almost fallen to your death, and yet, you had adjusted into an authoritative and capable young adult within mere years. It was astounding. The opposite of what he had expected, and yet, it was a welcomed revision.

  
  


“Isn’t it rude to show yer back to someone when they’re tryna have a serious conversation?” Papyrus questioned, amused, and for a moment, you wanted to challenge him concerning his odd staring problem, but decided against it.

  
  


“Yes, but so far, it seems as if you’re only trying to fuck with me.” You snapped back, finishing putting away your foldable items of clothing and beginning to search through your closet to hang up those of which need such space.

  
  


“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” Papyrus shrugged, watching the way your wrists flicked around perhaps too intently.

  
  


His gaze snapped back up to your own as he finally took notice of your disapproving, fixed stare; “I don’t like you talking shit ‘bout me to my brother.”

  
  


You faltered in your movements, before continuing to hang a lovely yellow dress shirt (of which Papyrus noted seemed to notice your embarrassment for) in the wardrobe. You did not turn to him, but Papyrus could tell that you were very uncomfortable at this point.

  
  


“What?” You murmured under your breath, genuine confusion, and perhaps even a slither of indiscretion in your voice.

  
  


“I said: ‘I don’t like you talking shit ‘bout me to my brother.’ You deaf or somethin’?” Papyrus repeated, becoming more hostile as the seconds ticked by.

  
  


Pushing the closet door shut, you swerved to face him, anger prominent on your features - you were absolutely astounded that he would even have the nerve to insinuate that you had spoken ill of him, especially to someone who holds him in such high regard. Sans was someone you admired, no matter how badly you happened to dislike Papyrus, there was no way in a million moons that you would admit it so harshly to his face, let alone to try and ‘talk shit’. It was unprecedented, and absolutely mind-boggling that Papyrus would hold you with such low principles.

  
  


“Rude.” You spat, fists clenched; “And I heard what you said, I just don’t get what you mean. I don’t talk shit about people unless it’s to their face.”

  
  


“Yer a bad fuckin’ liar.” Papyrus jeered, taking a step closer to your smaller form.

  
  


“Jesus, if it’s about the love thing, you’re a real asshole.” You scorned, holding your hands out in front of you, “It was only a conversation, I didn’t say shit about you.”

  
  


“Seems like ya did.” Papyrus mumbled.

  
  


His breath hit your lips like a warm puff of smoke, scentless, and yet, when you inhaled, you could feel a slight residue of magic and moisture entering your body. He was so close, adrenaline and anger coursed through your veins. You despised when someone entered your personal bubble, especially when you were already so riled up. It made you feel like a child, degradable and miniscule compared to the unquestionable adults around you. At this point, you felt officially threatened, and in the back of your mind, you had begun to question whether or not Papyrus was willing to enter an encounter with you.

  
  


You were ready to defend yourself if needed.

  
  


“Get out of my face.” You ordered under your breath.

  
  


It was a warning.

  
  


“Make me.” Papyrus replied, his tone similarly as low, as he began to inch closer and closer towards you.

  
  


His gaze was sharp, judging. His shadow hugged your every curve, and you couldn’t help but feel cornered, despite the fact that you could very easily escape from such torment. But yet, you didn’t. You felt frozen in place - in time - and as he slowly leaned his skull closer towards you, your soul practically dropped out of existence. He seemed entranced, eyeing up every corner of your very flesh, hands twitching as if he wanted to up and caress you right there. Your hair. Your jaw. Your nose. Everything seemed so fascinating to him.

  
  


To think that beneath all of that was your very own skeletal structure, all being controlled by a spider web of nerves and a considerable mass of ghastly muscle. Pulsating. Moving. Allowing you to live and breathe and talk to him. It was all thanks to your brain that you were able to snap back at him with your witty comebacks and interact as if there was some sort of unspoken hatred between you two. But Papyrus did not hate you, he found you absolutely alluring. You were a human, a lower specimen that was simply meant to aid him in his lifetime of unending torment. A creature that could survive without their soul, but couldn’t survive without their heart.

  
  


Papyrus’ jaw unlocked from its position, revealing a golden gelatin tongue, drool and saliva dripping from the muscle onto the floor beneath you. Your breath caught in your throat as his hand reached out to grab the ball of your left shoulder, bringing you closer towards him. This felt unreal, as if he was some sort of puppeteer pulling the strings connected to not only your limbs, but also your soul. You felt used, and somewhat hurt in some way. What was he doing and why did you not have the energy in you to move? - You felt utterly drained, as if he had sucked the hope from you and left you in a state of which you were too depleted to even let out a noise of discomfort.

  
  


It wasn’t until his tongue had begun to lap up your ear, the wet clamour pounding in your eardrums, did you manage to break free of whatever trance you were in.

  
  


He seemed absolutely horrified when you had rounded your fist and socked him right in the jaw, but not as horrified as you were during that very situation. Your heart palpitated, and the adrenaline coursing through your veins caused you to intake large amounts of air, tears welling in the corners of your eyes. You straightened yourself out with the best of your abilities. You felt betrayed.

  
  


“Get the fuck out.” You ordered him, voice shaky.

  
  


Papyrus spluttered momentarily, holding his cracked jaw in the palm of his jaw. It hurt to talk.

  
  


“Stop talkin’ shit.” He argued, although it seemed a lot less hostile when he spoke aloud.

  
  


You tried to hold back a sob, limbs shaking due to not only the rollercoaster of saddened and fearful emotions you were cycling through, but also due to the pure, unbridled rage that had snuck into your heart.

  
  


“What are you, a fucking child?! Get over yourself and start acting your fucking age!” You roared, “Now get out. When you want to have a proper conversation like goddamn adults, come to me. I don’t want anything to do with you and your stupid ego until you learn how to not be a genuine asshole!”

  
  


Papyrus stumbled back slightly as soon as you had begun barreling up towards him, forcing him back with every powerful push of your arms. Confusion was plastered on his skull, as if he was the one that should be worrying about the situation that had just occurred. He held his arms out in front of him to block for any attacks that could be coming his way, but so far, it seemed to be overzealous shoving.

  
  


“I just wanted ta-” He started, only to be cut off by your cracked scream.

  
  


“Fuck off!”

  
  


You were an absolute mess, clawing at the flesh on your arms as frustrated and pained grunts escaped your clenched teeth. Blood dripped from your bruising knuckles, hints of where softened flesh had smashed against bone plastered on your skin. You were trying not to cry, but that was easier said than done when the falling masses of fresh teardrops were rushing from your eyes like a waterfall. Puffed redness, unsolvable madness. Your head was pounding and your legs were shaking. You had never been held in a blue attack before, nor did you ever expect to in such a situation.

The deception that Papyrus held was unprecedented, almost as if he had completely changed character. 

  
  


Rain began pattering against the windows, the roars of thunder in the back of your mind. Bitter. The world was bitter. It tasted like a citrus peel, as if zopiclone was being pumped through the very core of the planet. You could hear it: the humid, moist nature of meat and solvent churning together as if creating some sort of astringent entity. Mutation. Rationalization. Your ears were ringing and your eye bags were being pulled down by tarantulas, crawling through your mind, heart and very existence. The race of a thousand hornets, hier n’existe pas.

  
  


You were still the same person from before, simply clouded by the hands of death.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Life goes on, and so do you.

  
  


You did not eat with the rest of the household last night, nor did Sans question why both you and his brother decided it would be best to sit as far away from each other as possible during breakfast. He was concerned, you could tell very easily, but he did not make a scene or make it noticeable to the rest of the skeletons at the dining table, so, as such, no one paid any mind to it. Nor did they pay any mind to the severe bruising all along your metacarpus, and the chips webbing across Papyrus’ mandible. Without a query, Sans had washed away the dry blood and wrapped up your hand in a tight gauze. His eye lights seemed melancholy, somber; he recognised the familiar print the bruise had taken shape of. It was past healing at this point, it had been hours and the damage had been done. 

  
  


He could do no more to help you. You had told him that he had done more than enough.

  
  


With a heavy heart, you continued with the rest of your day. You showered, moisturized your skin (all the while wincing when you came in contact with your swollen and discoloured flesh) and tried to make yourself as presentable as possible. There were bags under your eyes, and, similarly, your scleras were tainted a deep shade of red. Due to the stress that the situation put you in last night, you had a headache, and it seemed as if no matter what you did to soothe it, there was absolutely no way you were going to have a day without pain. So, you had decided it would be best to postpone your explorations, as you had not yet seen the full layout of the household due to constant interruptions and foolishness, to simply relax in the living room.

  
  


You said that, yet you felt it increasingly awkward to stand in the middle of the room, staring at the skeleton who was taking up most of the couch.

  
  


Black jolted his skull towards you, and you blinked at his gaze. Widened sockets, nervous perhaps, were staring right into your eyes, before his form relaxed slightly. He was hunched over on the lime green couch, cradling something in his hands, you had to crane your head to look at it - some sort of machinery, both ends being a different colour, while the screen seemed to show some sort of cinematic-looking… movie? You were unsure. It seemed childish-looking and bright, perhaps made for youth.

  
  


But Black was not a child, or at least, you assumed he wasn’t. The questioning glare he gave you was enough to snap you out of your insistent interest towards what he was doing.

  
  


“WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE?” He snapped, and you paused for a moment, before answering, pointing at the console in his hands.

  
  


“What is that?” You questioned, dispassionate, but mildly intrigued at how machines have developed above ground.

  
  


“MY SWITCH. WINE STOLE IT BACK FOR ME.” Black scoffed simply, separating his gaze from your own.

  
  


“I see.” You murmured, before closing in on the skeleton.

  
  


Leaning over the couch to watch what he was currently doing, you noticed that in said screen happened to be quite a lot of anthropomorphic animals. He seemed very much persistent in what he was accomplishing, as his gloved phalanges were darting the sticks to each side single-mindedly, also while pressing the occasional buttons. It reminded you of your old Nintendo DS, but it seemed a lot more… high-tech. Futuristic, even, you felt intimidated by the prospect that technology has developed so far. This must have been what he had meant the other day when Red had scammed him.

  
  


You must have been making Black feel rather uncomfortable while you breathed down his spine, since he leant further away from you, meaning that you, once again, had to crane your neck to see the screen.

  
  


“What do you do on it?” You queried, eyes fixated as the character on screen runs around the world.

  
  


“IT’S A GAMING DEVICE, IMBECILE. I GOT IT AS A REWARD. AND NO, I AM NOT LETTING YOU PLAY ON IT.” Black huffed, before he let out an angered growl; “NOW GET OUT OF MY FACE.”

  
  


You rolled your eyes as soon as he turned his attention back to the game, trying not to make your irritation towards his outwardly hostile demeanour as obvious as it already was. You weren’t in the right headspace for any sort of confrontation, especially against someone as unreasonable as himself.

  
  


“What game are you playing?” You inquired, leaning over the skeletons hunched form to get a good view of the gameplay.

  
  


After a couple moments of silence, Black finally answers, tensing in his place, “ANIMAL CROSSING.”

  
  


You paused for a moment. You recognised that name, you were a big fan of the second edition of the game, not so much of the original - your mother happened to enjoy it also.

  
  


Your… mother.

  
  


You forgot you had one.

  
  


“The original?” You wanted to get the thought of her out of your head.

  
  


“PAH, NO WAY. THAT GAME’S OLD AS FUCK.” Black scoffed, before a grin stretched across his skull. “I’M PLAYING NEW HORIZONS.”

  
  


He turned his head towards you, giving a scrutinizing scowl; “WHY?”

  
  


You shrugged in response, propping up your elbows against the cushioned frames of the sofa; “I used to play Wild World when I was in highschool.”

  
  


Black paused at the information given.

  
  


“THAT GAME CAME OUT IN 2005.” He murmured, snapping his eye lights towards your apathetic gaze. “HOW OLD ARE YOU?”

  
  


“I’m-” You began, only to be cut off.

  
  


“NOT THAT IT FUCKING MATTERS!” Black squawks, you frown.

  
  


For some reason, the monsters within this household seemed set on not letting you finish your sentences.

  
  


“IF YOU’RE GOING TO KEEP PESTERING ME, I SUPPOSE THAT I’LL ALLOW YOU TO WATCH THE GAMEPLAY - BUT ONLY” Black jeers, snapping his phalanges in your face irritatingly; “THIS ONCE. BE GRATEFUL, PEST.”

  
  


Your expression grew angered, but only for a moment, allowing yourself to relax at the realization that he seemed to be acting rather pleasant in your presence - or, at the very least, happened to be in a decent mood. You’d rather not be given a vaguely rude and somewhat unneeded nickname, so you kept your mouth shut and transversed around the couch to sit next to him.

  
  


For a while, you simply watch him play. He seemed rather uncomfortable with how close you were, but didn’t try to lean away or snap at you to get back. His island was rather adorable, at least in a feminine sense. Everything was a light colour of pastel, teacups and multicoloured flowers littered across the land - it was rather unexpected, you half-anticipated some sort of graveyard or gothic aesthetic.

  
  


“Your island is cute.” You complimented lowly, and almost instantly, Black replied.

  
  


“IT’S TERRIFYING.” He argued.

  
  


Your brows furrowed together, “The roads are pink.”

  
  


“EXACTLY.” Black seethed.

  
  


You decided to not mention it anymore, and instead snapped your attention towards the odd villager who seemed to be trapped outside his house in metal bars. You couldn’t help but feel as if this sort of thing was more up Black’s alley, rather than all of the cutsie shenanigans.

  
  


“Who is that?” Black almost instantaneously shudders at your question.

  
  


“KYLE.” He hissed, and you blinked at the unbridled hatred in his tone.

  
  


“Why is he trapped?” You pressed, intrigued on what caused Black to feel such animosity towards a fictional wolf.

  
  


“HE DESERVES TO BE TORTURED FOR THE HEINOUS SITUATION THAT OCCURED LAST WEEK AT EXACTLY 5PM UST TIME.”

  
  


Once again, you decided not to question it, and instead went silent as Black went ahead and showed you around his island. He greeted all of his villagers cheerfully, boasting about the sort of relationships he had with each of them, their style and/or personality, sometimes he even mentioned the gifts he received from them. He acted rather pleased about a villager called ‘Raymond’, and told you that he spent a huge amount of gold to get him on the island. It seemed as if he cared a lot about his villagers, almost as if they were real people he had befriended. You found that sad, but paid no mind to the psychological implications of being so genuinely dedicated and caring towards those who can not care for you back.

  
  


Instead, you simply let Black ramble on about whatever conversation he had to offer, occasionally asking questions (which were received as if you were some sort of idiot) and adding in little to offer, simply because you wished for him to act at the very least pleasant towards you during certain situations.

  
  


You became concerned when he introduced you to a green mouse.

  
  


“THIS” He started, gesturing to said villager. “IS BREE. MY DAUGHTER.”

  
  


You paused for a moment, taking in her appearance - she was cute. Not traditionally so, you would say, she had some sort of punk, snobbish aesthetic which you rather enjoyed, but it wasn’t as if you had much interest towards the game. The way Black spoke so highly about her confused you, as if he was showing off some sort of grand prize. She didn’t seem necessarily all that special to you, just another villager with a unique appearance and asshole personality.

  
  


“She’s a fictional rat.” You claimed, which caused Black to grip onto his console tighter.

  
  


“I LOVE HER ALL THE SAME.” He chided.

  
  


You frowned, finally taking in the dialogue.

  
  


“Why does she call you ‘master’?”

  
  


“WELL, THAT IS MY NAME AFTER ALL.”

  
  


Black was a decent individual when he wasn’t riled up. You could have a conversation with him, but whatever you said had to be short and sweet, otherwise he gets frustrated and cuts you off - he seemed self-centred, as if everything had to go his else something dire occurred. He was decent, but not pleasant. You could at least appreciate the fact that he kept his island clean and neatly laid out, something of which you were certain you wouldn’t have the time for.

  
  


The game seemed respectable enough, you could understand one’s appeal towards it: building an island from scratch, casually going about life while trying to pay off your debts. But it wasn’t your sort of thing, you had grown out of simple entertainment as such, and much preferred something that could truly interest you. Perhaps you should question Sans whether or not it would be possible to discuss with Vanilla about obtaining a mobile device or anything with internet connection. It had been a while since you had scoured the web, perhaps you could gain more knowledge of the world if such is obtainable.

  
  


You remembered getting your first mobile phone: a HTC HD2, also known as a HTC Leo, it was your baby. You would take it everywhere. Too bad it broke in the fall to the underground, you had loads of memories in there.

  
  


The floorboards let out a squeak, and you glanced over towards the staircase to see Stretch. He had some sort of envelope in his hand, holding it as if it was just about ready to up and burst into flames. He seemed nervous, surprised even. You couldn’t help but wonder why.

  
  


After a while of staring straight at one another, Stretch finally spoke up; “Oh. Hey.”

  
  


“Hello.” You greeted dismally, uncaring towards whatever conversation he wished to engage in.

  
  


He was boring to you.

  
  


Stretch gave a sideways glance towards the skeleton sat on the sofa next to you, “I, uh, see you made friends with the tyrant.”

  
  


Tyrant wasn’t a word you would describe Black with. That was too dictator-esue, Black was less of an oppressor and more of a depressor; unchecked and barely hanging onto mental awareness and stability. 

  
  


“He’s showing me his ‘switch’.” You informed him.

  
  


Black had yet to pipe up, simply too engrossed in trying to catch tarantulas.

  
  


“Ah.” Stretch hummed, before silence overcame the both of you.

  
  


He was too delicate for you to handle: a glance towards oneself and he shivered like a fire elemental in snowlands. Stretch was an embarrassment, and yet you couldn’t help but feel as if he was very much similar to your Papyrus in a way. That thought plagued you.

  
  


“Well, uh, Sans gave me this just in case I caught ya.” Stretch chuckled, before stepping closer towards the sofa, holding the envelope out towards you.

  
  


You take it in the palm of your hands. It was just your usual envelope, addressed to yourself, except it seemed ‘Sans’ (AKA Blue) had gone the extra mile to make the outer layer seem interesting to look out. Your name was caligrophised to make it seem fancy and neat, the pattern seemingly of which would take a lot of concentration and time. You guessed that it took many times for him to perfect such craftsmanship, you can appreciate the dedication. On the back of said envelope, the flap happened to be sealed only by a red balloon sticker perfectly centered. 

  
  


After neatly pulling the sticker from the flap, you pulled out the insides of the envelope. It was simply a folded piece of A-5 paper. There were cute little doodles that you assumed to be you and sheep, alongside excited scribbles of what you could not decipher.

  
  


“An invitation,” you began, “to a birthday party?”

  
  


Stretch nodded, “For Cinnamon.”

  
  


Noting your obvious confusion, Stretch continued.

  
  


“One of the white sheep.” Stretch confirmed, before nervously glancing away from your gaze. “He invited a whole bunch of kids as well.”

  
  


“Nooo…” You groaned lowly, massaging your pulsing scalp with your fingers.

  
  


You weren’t the biggest fan of children, nor sheep in general. It wasn’t as if you had anything specifically against them, they just annoyed you. In fact, monster children seemed rather decent; perhaps a little too rowdy and reckless, but at least they weren’t as insufferable as their human counterparts. You were sure to get a headache with their detestable squeals of excitement and their idiotic pronunciations of words. 

  
  


“Fine. I’ll go.” You sighed, leaning against the sofa padding.

  
  


“Great.” Stretch grinned, before awkwardly giving you finger guns. “Uh, see ya, human, I guess.”

  
  


As Stretch left the room, you couldn’t help but follow your gaze in his direction. He was a unique individual. You didn’t like him one bit.

  
  


“YOU TWO ARE FUCKING AWKWARD.”

  
  


You couldn’t agree more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What was not mentioned in this chapter:
> 
> Coffee hiding in the car's trunk after plotting how he was going to make his dramatic appearance.
> 
> Beta Read by Glitterbug.


	8. Lilac Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC and Creampuff have a conversation, and MC makes a mistake.

By the next day, you had to admit that you felt some sort of unending sense of longing.

  
  


The willow tree was the heart of the garden, the crown bending from its position closer towards the earth, allowing delicate curtains of green to sail through the gentle breeze. It felt ethereal, the sun had only recently just woken from its slumber, the rays of light cascading through the leaves and creating a kaleidoscopic pattern onto the grass and flora below.

  
  


It seemed as if the garden was less of a garden and more or less merged with the woods behind, as no fence nor obstruction was put in place in case of any pesky intruders. It was somewhat alarming, and yet, as you sat yourself down beneath the hardwood, you couldn’t help but understand the reasoning as to why someone would be so against having such enclosure. You felt at peace with mother nature, almost as if each and every miniscule aspect of the land was simply one giant organism or collany, working together to keep eachother sustainable and alive. It would be a shame to block yourself away from anything that could be considered so authentically sublime.

  
  


The shrubbery seemed unkept and had grown to a labyrinth of overgrown wilderness, and while you would say that you were most definitely one for the pristine and uncluttered, seeing such underbush so unscathed by those with high cognitive abilities made you feel as if you were wrong in the way you treated life itself. Humans and monsters alike were so obsessed with keeping things around them intact and under control, that they cared not for the problems they were causing with such selfish actions and ideologies. Animals were dying, plants were wilting, the world as you knew it was under peril, and yet barely any had tried to genuinely stop it. Those in power had tried to govern the world with their clenched mortal fist, and were so blind to the jeopardy they were causing as such.

  
  


If only you had the correct mindset and conviction to lay down the law, but sadly, your mind was scathed with negative thoughts and a critical past. If anything, you would most likely only cause more pain than what was already such.

  
  


You had awoken earlier than expected. You would have expected many within the household to have been active by now, but it seemed as if you were incorrect with the assumption. Perhaps today was some sort of ‘lazy day’ that you had no knowledge of. You hoped not, as that would mean that many monsters in which you had very perilous opinions of would be hanging around the living area. It was a weekend, and while the thought of having every skeleton at once coexist while many of them had no such job to attend to would be a very interesting prospect, you were never one for socialising in a friendly setting. You’d make everything much more awkward than hoped.

  
  


You had no clue as to why you had risen at such an early time in the day, but as time went on, you knew that there was no way you were able to fall back asleep. So you decided that it would be best if you were to simply waste the rest of your free time to wander around. 

  
  


Snowfall had paused in its general ministrations, and while it was rather cold out, you didn’t feel the need to wear anything over your choice of clothing for the day.

  
  


So while the faint layer of snow beneath your bottom was rather chilly, the sun descending upon your form left you simply with a faint shiver rather than the alternative. It was relaxing in a sense, even if it felt rather uncomfortable as your gauze began to moisten.

  
  


You tried not to look at the gauze recently. The situation that had occurred the other day had made an understandable dent in your relationship with Papyrus, you had not yet spoken nor interacted, nor did you wish to at this point. You needed time. Even if he was magically able to change his whole demeanour in under a week, you still felt as if you wouldn’t forgive him for what he had done. You’ve never felt such betrayal.

  
  


Perhaps you were overreacting, or perhaps you were even ovulating, as you were soon to be on that time of the month. Whatever the reason for your breakdown, you knew that you wouldn’t stand for such childish behaviour. To try to scare you with his odd attitude was one thing, but to actually blue you to keep you in place was a whole other story. You were harassed. A simple apology would not heal your relationship, you wouldn’t let it.

  
  


With a small hiss, you pulled your busted hand away from the snow beneath you - the gauze had soaked up enough water to the area around your healing knuckles. It wasn’t pleasant.

  
  


You let out a huff of irritation as you realised that it you’d most likely have to interact with others as you rewrapped the bandages. Pushing yourself up from your spot, you took a quick glance at the sky - bleak, murky, but still held some warmth as the sun peeked through the darkened clouds. It was going to snow again soon. You decided that it would be best to head back into the house rather than deal with the heavy downpour, not to mention the fact that you were already wet enough due to the moisture on the grass you sat below.

  
  


You couldn’t help but stare back outside while you were wrapping the gauze around your clenched knuckles. The bathroom window was fogged, clammy with precipitation, and behind the thin psychedelic ice that had begun forming across the framework, you noticed snow had begun to descend. You had come in at just the right time. The golden light that speckled through the etched glass shone against your skin, and you hummed at the warmth it protruded. Despite the chill in the air, it was much more pleasant in terms of heat inside. You decided that you wanted to drink something hot before anyone else woke up and started to stress you out with their basic presence.

  
  


As you emptied out of the bathroom, you glanced down to the stairs beneath you. That was the basement, where the Tomb brothers lied, you presumed. You had not yet spoken to Sans about the possibility of checking out the area as everyone slept, but you were sure to bring it up later tonight during passing conversation. You hoped you had the opportunity to interact with said fellows and try to gain knowledge about them - if Vanilla’s reaction to them was anything to go off on, then they were intimidating individuals. Those of which you’d rather not have on your bad side.

  
  


Over on the couch was a large clump of purple; it took you a rather embarrassing amount of time to realise that the horrifically loud breathing and occasional snorts, was simply Cash snoring, his cigarette hanging from the corners of his gaping teeth.

  
  


The kitchen was, of course, empty, and while there was the basic illumination from the sun rising, it wasn’t enough for you to see the area in full. You pulled the string of the lamp closest to you, allowing it to slowly brighten. It was old, you presumed, had a similar style to one of those oil lanterns you’d see in historic movies, but it had a faint glow inside that was not anything fire-related. Magic, perhaps? Either way, what you were interested in happened to not be the odd lamp, but instead, coffee.

  
  


After allowing the kettle to boil, you handled the coffee the exact same way you usually did. It wasn’t the taste that kept you drinking such a bitter substance, but instead, the after effects. Back in the underground, you would be consuming it practically 24/7 - it would keep you awake and active, despite the low light that accompanied being below the earth. Even though Alphys would constantly be nagging at you to stop with your caffeine addiction, you never paid her any mind. She wasn’t human, she had no idea how hard it was for you to stay awake when half of the underground was full of darkness. You wanted to be able to be seen just as monsters were, and that included being operative during the regular daytime.

  
  


You barely allowed yourself to relax as you leant against the cupboards. You purposely faced yourself in a direction where you could see anyone entering the area. The sensation of the warm coffee in your throat was comforting, it reminded you of home. Even if home was full of creatures that wished to eradicate your very being for daring to exist. After a couple moments of simply staring into dead space and reminiscing on your time back as lieutenant commander, you glanced over at the star chart. Just as expected, Creampuff and Blue had both piled on copious amounts of star stickers onto the wall, curving around the edge. You couldn’t help but wonder what would happen when they finally managed to make a full circle with said stars.

  
  


Surprisingly, Sans had been given two extra stars. For what, you were uncertain. You knew that he was actively trying to interact with the rest of the skeletons, but you couldn’t imagine him genuinely doing good deeds for those around him, especially those he did not know. Papyrus still had no stars, and you had been given one more of which you had no knowledge of.

  
  


You faltered slightly as soon as Creampuff waltzed on into the kitchen; he was already fully dressed, and seemed to be excited for the rest of the day.

  
  


“OH! GOOD MORNING, MX MC! HOW LOVELY IT IS TO SEE YOU UP SO EARLY -” He chirped, before squinting at the cup in your hand, “ARE YOU MAKING BREAKFAST? YOU KNOW IT IS NOT YOUR DAY.”

  
  


Shrugging your shoulders, you kept his gaze, “Coffee.”

  
  


“AH, OF COURSE. THE MORNING BEVERAGE THAT WARMS YOUR BONES AND KEEPS YOU ENERGISED FOR THE REST OF THE DAY! A GOOD CHOICE.” Creampuff vibrated, heading towards the kitchen counter to pull out some items from a few of the drawers. “I, PERSONALLY, DESPISE THE TASTE. MUCH TOO BITTER FOR THE LIKES OF I, SO I PREFER TO STICK TO THE SOOTHING SENSATION OF MICROWAVED MILK. NOT ONLY IS IT SWEET ON THE TONGUE, BUT IT IS ALSO INCREDIBLE FOR MY ALREADY HIGH BONE DENSITY AND STRENGTH!”

  
  


He was making orange juice. Of course. As you watched him gulp down the mushy liquid, you tried not to cringe as he turned towards you, loudly placing the glass down on the counter. He still had pulp all over his teeth.

  
  


It seemed as if he was going to speak, but paused, sockets widening slightly as if he was a dog catching sight of something. He had taken notice of the gauze over your knuckles, of which you had tried to seamlessly hide behind your form.

  
  


“DID YOU HURT YOURSELF, MX MC?” Creampuff questioned, his expression showing concern.

  
  


After a couple moments of awkward silence and trying to think of what you should say, you finally huffed out a response, shaking your head and avoiding eye contact, “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

  
  


It seemed as if he got the message, as the room had been thrown into another absence of sound. The air was thick - but not thick enough to cut with a knife, perhaps more of a jelly example.

  
  


“WHEN?” Creampuff queried, guilt shown on his skull.

  
  


“A couple days ago.” You answered truthfully.

  
  


In response, Creampuff spluttered, and you couldn’t help the reflexive flinch as his tone raised from his general loud sense to one of more panic and vigour.

  
  


“A COUPLE DAYS?! BY GOODY GOD, I COULD’VE HEALED THAT RIGHT ON UP UNDER A MINUTE AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOU LEFT IT FOR THAT LONG? WHY DIDN’T YOU COME TO ME OR ANYONE ELSE THAT COULD HEAL YOU AS SOON AS THE DAMAGE WAS DONE?” He hollered.

  
  


You slowly caved in on yourself as he spoke, taking small sips from the burning cup, “It’ll heal eventually.”

  
  


“‘’EVENTUALLY’ IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH MIGHT I ADD.” Creampuff huffed at your lacklustre answer, turning his figure away from your own swiftly.

  
  


You had access to his back.

  
  


“LACK OF TRUST, I ASSUME?” Creampuff lowly questioned, his attention towards quickly washing up the glass he had just drank from.

  
  


It took you a while to reply, weighing the chances of affecting your current relationship (which was an enigma at this stage), “Admittedly, yes.”

  
  


Creampuff paused in his ministrations, before a small sigh escaped his jaw, “I UNDERSTAND.”

  
  


He washed the glass in silence, and it seemed as if it went on for hours, yet only a minute had passed when he finally finished cleaning and drying the cup. At that point, you had finished your coffee, and were questioning whether or not a second should be made simply due to boredom.

  
  


“WELL THEN, I’D BETTER HEAD ON OVER AND START MY CLEANING DUTIES BEFORE WORK! BLUE WILL BE DOWN IN A COUPLE OF MOMENTS TO FIX US ALL SOME BREAKFAST, SOMETHING SAVOURY I DO HOPE. ENJOY YOUR COFFEE!” Creampuff informed you with a wide grin.

  
  


It was almost jarring how he could switch from melancholy to joyful. Further proving your point when he rounded towards you and gripped your shoulder. You tensed, but kept his gaze.

  
  


“I’M GLAD WE HAD THIS TALK.” He spoke, boring his sockets into your eyes.

  
  


The way he stared felt so meaningful. You repressed a shudder.

  
  


He left soon after, allowing you to brood in your thoughts. Creampuff’s character was not as you expected. You knew that he wasn’t all sugar, spice and everything nice, but it was rather surprising how easily he could completely 180 his personality in a matter of seconds. From the loud, childish little brother, to the worried, mature sibling - it’s almost as if he was more sophisticated than he let people believe. Well, no, that wasn’t the right way to go about this sort of situation.

  
  


Anyone can have a mature side, even if they are one of the most energetic and oblivious people you knew. You shouldn’t judge someone based on their charisma, it’s when times are tough that you should decide whether they are worthy of the title of adult or not. You most certainly were, or, at least, you believed so, and the same seemed to go for Creampuff. It would make sense, considering the fact that Papyrus had that same sort of childish yet cultivated air around him. In fact, all of the Papyrus’ you’ve come across seemed to have it, but simply portrayed in different ways.

  
  


You huffed through your nose when you realised that your coffee had been finished, before deciding that it would be best to make another one. You continue with your coffee making ministrations as you think about the outside world - how much would it be to hire a cab to travel around the area? A lot, you assumed.

  
  


You round the corner, coffee mug in hand, ready to head to the living room couch, when a huge force slams up against you, causing the coffee to fly everywhere. You hissed in pain and dropped said mug on the ground as soon as some of the boiling liquid splattered across your delicate skin. Red, on the other hand, was absolutely drenched, and was screaming in pain at the scalding sensation.

  
  


“argh! - fuck! you dumb fuckin’ ass!” Red cried out, tugging at his jacket and shirt to pull it off.

  
  


“Forgive me, I -” you started, taking a couple steps forward towards the pained skeleton.

  
  


Red roared in response, gripping and rubbing at his bones to try and soothe the pain, “look watcha fuckin’ did, ya stupid bitch! fuck, it burns!”

  
  


In a slight panic, you rushed back into the kitchen to grab a wet flannel. As you ran back with said item, you hurried to wipe the scorching coffee off of his ribcage, only for said skeleton to roughly grip onto your wrist and throw you back. You tried to avoid cutting your socked feet on the mug shards shattered across the floor, but it was rather difficult as you slipped around the liquid puddling on the wood.

  
  


“get the fuck offa me, cuntbag! learn yer fuckin’ place and stop chuckin’ coffee errywhere!” Red barked, before ripping the flannel out of your grip and teleporting to what you assumed to be the bathroom.

  
  


He left his shirt and jacket piled on the ground.

  
  


You sighed through your nose. This day just kept getting worse.

  
  


After cleaning up the mess on the floor and fetching yourself a new batch of coffee, you picked up his stained items of clothing and headed to clean them in the kitchen sink. You couldn’t find anything that would properly be able to wash the brown blotches off of them, but you were at the very least able to get rid of the basic colour. The jacket was much easier to wash off due to the material. You didn’t want to be on his bad side even more than you were, so at least you were able to clean up what you had caused. You left the items of clothing out to dry on the back of one of the dining room chairs.

  
  


As soon as you exited into the living room, with intent of hiding up in your room until breakfast was served, you paused. Cash was awake, posing very seductively (or at least, it’s what he assumed to be seductive) on the couch, staring right at you. You were rather unnerved, but didn’t show it. He swung his legs around with a lopsided grin pulling at his teeth. Finally, after a while of holding his megalomaniac gaze, he spoke, his tone low and teasing. Rough.

  
  


“That bad, huh?” Cash questioned.

  
  


With a confused and slightly irritated tone, you urged him to continue, “Excuse me?”

  
  


“The coffee, that you had to throw it at that bag ‘a dicks.” He chuckled, “I get it, I would too.”

  
  


You rolled your eyes at his obvious attempt at meanspirited gossip. He acted how Papyrus did back when you had only just met. It agitated you.

  
  


“It wasn’t like that.” You informed him, contemplating just leaving at that very moment.

  
  


Cash chortled at your reply, and rolled from his place onto his feet. He took a quick drag out of his cigarette, of which was somehow now lit and smoking, before he sat back down on the couch in the intended position. He patted next to him, beckoning you over.

  
  


“Heh. Sure, lil buzzer.” He hummed, “Come sit with me.”

  
  


You frowned at his odd behaviour, not wanting to approach someone such as himself, especially without the help of Sans or Papyr- Sans. Just Sans. Cash seemed to notice your obvious hesitance, and wriggled his phalange at you teasingly.

  
  


“Yeah, c’mon, I don’t bite.” He gulped coarsely, a faint purple glowing in his darkened sockets; “Hard.”

  
  


A sudden rush of blood circulated to your cheeks, irritation and slight anger clenching your heart - was he seriously trying to flirt with you right now? How much of a nitwit must he be to assume that you’d fall into his little trap like some sort of moronic foal? Honestly, surely he must realise that you’re not one of those idiotic muttonheads that swoon at every slight advance that comes your way. You were much more refined than that.

  
  


You fell into his trap like a moronic foal.

  
  


As you sat on the opposite couch to him, you couldn’t help but avoid his prying gaze. It felt as if he was looking for something, for some sort of weakness you were unwilling to let him know of. Of course, holding his gaze would be more of an intimidation tactic, and you weren’t necessarily cowering away as you sipped at your coffee, so it wasn’t as if you were being submissive to his coercion. You were calm, relaxed, but also tensed in a sense where if he would lunge for you, you were already ready for it.

  
  


“You have that look on yer face a lot.” Cash commented smugly, taking a long drag from his cigarette and exhaling all the smoke out - the purple wisps escaped from his eye sockets.

“What?” You pressed, gripping your mug tighter in your grasp.

  
  


Cash simply chuckled.

  
  


“That pointed, angry expression. As if you’re gonna lash out at everyone if they even come near ya. Reminds me of…” he hummed, “a wasp. Vicious, deadly, but also really fuckin’ tiny.”

  
  


With a twitch in your eyebrow, you tried to resist sneering. You didn’t want to prove his point right - I mean, you weren’t even that much shorter than him.

  
  


“What do you want?” You insisted, before taking a sip from your mug.

  
  


Cash snorted at your reply, before leaning forward, closer towards you. If it wasn’t for the table between you two, you were certain that he would be up in your face at this point.

  
  


“Y’know, conversation is usually a skill you learn in school. You did go there, right?”

  
  


You spluttered at his rude accusation, which caused him to grunt, a malicious smirk stretching across his skull.

  
  


“‘m just kiddin’, don’t get yer panties in a twist.” Cash mocked with the wave of his hand, taking another drag of his fag and looking away from your form, “Now that I look at ya, I think yer more of a fly.”

  
  


You clenched your trousers. You didn’t like where this conversation was going, it made you highly uncomfortable.

  
  


Cash was like Papyrus, but a lot more malicious and mean spirited. While Papyrus would have definitely been acting like an arsehole to anyone he came across, he was far too lazy to keep up the intimidating taller brother persona. He acted more like a teenager if anything - crude, obscene and insistently annoying. Whereas, Cash seemed a lot more genuine in his attempts to be foul and vulgar, almost as if he was some sort of sadistic freak that enjoyed the pain he put on others.

  
  


Strange. Your captain happened to be very similar, yet, his overly righteous soul and actions always deterred him from allowing innocent monsters to fear his wrath. You were no innocent monster, though.

  
  


“A pathetic - worthless - fly. Buzzin’ around like yer nobody's business. Irritatin’.” Cash droned, flickin some of the burning ash nearer to your form; you were lucky it didn’t catch your flesh.

  
  


You were at a loss for words. On one side, you were absolutely insulted. How dare such an abominable man insinuate such things! If anything, he was describing himself, some sort of deep rooted issues must be prevalent in his mind if he truly was willing to characterise himself in such a manner. Yet, you could understand where he was coming from. He didn’t know you, you were new, he most likely viewed you as a threat; which you most definitely were. Even so, his actions were unprecedented in your eyes.

  
  


The breath caught in your throat for a moment when he leaned even closer, placing the palm of his hand on the centre of the table to balance himself.

  
  


“I remind you of him, don’t I? Yer Paps.” Cash heaved, his eye lights hazy as he examined your face. “Coffee, was it? A borin’ name if ya ask me, and that’s sayin’ a lot comin’ from this bozo.”

  
  


You glared straight ahead at him as he reached his hand up to caress your cheek. You gripped onto his wrist and twisted as soon as he made physical contact. He retracted his arm.

  
  


“You aren’t Papyrus.” You snapped, and Cash chuckled, straightening his form.

  
  


“But I am. ‘M not yer Papyrus, but I am a Papyrus.” Cash rumbled, rounding the table to sit next to you. “I see what you mean, though. Your Paps would never try to genuinely put harm on ya, same with yer Sans. Wonder why.”

  
  


You squeaked as he gripped your chin between his thumb and index finger, pinching ever so slightly. His cigarette had long been forgotten, fell to burn on the table as he continued to press you. You could feel his breath on your lips.

  
  


“You’re not special. Not in the slightest.” He cooed, the sound reminding you of a dove; “Weak. A dumb fuckin’ wall hidin’ all yer insecurities and fears. The scars mean nothin’, no weight behind em whatsoever.”

  
  


Flashes of Papyrus crossed your mind, and your heart clenched. You didn’t want that to happen again. You wouldn’t let that happen again. Bitter.

  
  


“I’m not weak.” You denied, albeit shakily.

  
  


Cash only chuckled perniciously in response; “Speak up, buzzer. Can’t hear you behind those fragile little wings ‘a yers.”

  
  


Your heart skipped as he gripped onto your wrist, yanking you closer towards him. For a moment, you were fearful that you were going to spill your coffee again, but as you clenched the mug to your chest, you couldn’t help but feel as if there were more things to be worried about. Cash’s breathing was heavy, inches away from your face. He positioned himself to the point where his arm was now wrapped around your waist, the distal phalanges that were pinching your chin disappearing.

  
  


If anyone walked in right then, they would’ve assumed that you were engaging in some very passionate activities by the angle. But you were most definitely not happy at this moment, in fact, you were thinking of damaging your already busted knuckles once more. This situation reminded you too much of what happened the other day.

  
  


You were going to have a sensory overload.

  
  


“Get off of me. Now.” You pressed, tensing up ever so slightly as Cash leaned in closer, his teeth barely grazing your scathed lips.

  
  


“How many people have you killed, buzzer?” Cash rumbled, his eye sockets slowly closing as he leant closer; “Let daddy know.”

  
  
  
  
  


“GOOD MORNING!” Blue cheered.

  
  


Cash actively screeched, jolting back from his place in shock at the appearance of the newcomer. You, however, were still, thanking the heavens for the smaller skeleton. As you glanced over at the individual, you felt him hold you in a stare that lasted longer than necessary. He knew.

  
  


“OH, ARE WE ENGAGING IN FRIENDLY RELATIONS WITH ONE ANOTHER? AND AT SUCH AN EARLY TIME OF DAY? HOW LOVELY! YOU ARE NOT USUALLY SO KIND, CASH! WHAT A STRANGE CONCEPT!” Blue vibrated, shifting weight from one foot to another, “DO WAIT FOR ME, WILL YOU? I WISH TO JOIN AS SOON AS THIS MORNING’S BATCH OF WOOFLES FOR BREAKFAST.”

  
  


Blue glanced over at you momentarily, making a blocking gesture as he ‘whispered’, “THEY’RE LIKE HUMAN WAFFLES BUT SHAPED LIKE DOGS.”

  
  


Cash, of whom was still clenching your wrist, turned his gaze from Blue and towards you. You felt uncomfortable once more.

  
  


“ANYWAYS, TA-TA FOR NOW!” And with that, Blue had ran off into the kitchen, making subtle hand motions towards you as soon as he entered the dining room - he wanted you to follow.

  
  


After a couple moments of silence and Cash simply just staring at you, his gaze no longer holding the same lustful look it once had, you decided ‘fuck it’, and chucked the mug at him, spilling the boiling coffee all over his person and the couch. As he screamed and writhed in pain, you managed to escape his grip on your wrist, and by the time you had exited the living room, he was already rushing to turn on the shower.

  
  


“OH, IS THE CONVERSATION OVER?? DID I MISS IT???” Blue questioned as soon as you entered the kitchen, his gaze knowing, but still holding that very same innocent demeanour.

  
  


It took you a while to speak.

  
  


“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some personal problems happening at home, you’ll all be getting regular Saturday updates from now on :)) follow my tumblr or join my discord to know more!


	9. Swiggity Swooty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC dresses up as a clown and fucks shit up.

“OKAY, SO!” Blue chirped, and you recoiled at the sudden intensity in his voice.

  
  


You had been dolled up in some sort of clown costume, hair styled in a porcupine-esque manner, while your clothing resembled an old jester’s garb. Polka dots, alongside many multicoloured pom-poms detailed across the material. It was uncomfortable, and incredibly itchy, the seamwork messy and you felt as if it would rip at any sort of movement. As you travelled around, you were practically stiff as a board, not wanting to cause more stress that was already happening at the before-party.

  
  


The white makeup on your face made you feel like some sort of pathetic joke, which was ironic considering the fact that you were a clown. Black had yammered on for what felt like hours as he slathered your face up with the cosmetic paint, adding tiny little details around with bright colouring to make you seem a lot more like an authentic clown. He had even gone as far as to super-glue a red clown nose smack-dot in the middle of your face! It was humiliating, and with the small constriction on your nostrils, your voice had become ever so slightly nasally. You felt shy to speak.

  
  


At least the comically large cartoon gloves weren’t all that bad. Admittedly they weren’t all that easy to move your fingers around in, but at least Black had given you permission to slip them off whenever needed. He must’ve been in charge of costume.

  
  


Speaking of costume, every skeleton that had shown up dressed up in some sort of amusing outfit. Vanilla wore a simple white sheet over his usual clothes, cutting out the eyes and some holes for his arms to fit through - a ‘spooktacular’ ghost, was what he claimed to be. Creampuff was dressed as the white rabbit from Alice and Wonderland, and while he necessarily didn’t fit the role, he seemed to be trying to stay in character with some of the children that arrived early. Stretch had seemingly appeared out of nowhere in the food section of the greenery, wearing a long strip of bacon, a hole cut out where his face was. Black had dressed himself up as a grim reaper (he exclaimed loudly something about the connotations with sheep and goats earlier, but you paid no mind to it). And Edge? - Well, you knew he was here, you could hear his insistent yelling at employees, but not once had you seen him. You assumed him to wear something dastardly like Black, but you honestly had no idea.

  
  


Blue had seemingly rented out an old British pub on the edge of Human Town, the large greenery out back being perfect for setting up whatever he needed. The parents could get drinks and hang out in the bar, and the children were watchable by most of the hired staff. Blue had exclaimed that it didn’t cost all that much to set it all up, but you assumed that alongside such a large amount of contracted items and the venue to boot, that the custom-made throne for ‘Cinnamon’ to sit on would surmise it to be quite a large amount of cash.

Nevertheless, while you felt your chest squeeze at the thought of wasting such money on something as silly as a birthday party for a sheep, you stayed quiet. At least the food was nice, not to mention the fact that you had got to meet the owner of said sheep as he drove round with his bovidae creature. He was an old human male in his late forties, and had a similar aura to Sans.

  
  


“THE BALLOONS ARE ALL SET, THE DECORATIONS HAVE BEEN PUT UP (WITH MUCH NEEDED HELP FROM PAPYRUS), AND WHILE SOME OF THE GUESTS HAVE ARRIVED A COUPLE HOURS EARLY, THAT’S OKAY!” Blue hummed, crossing off some words on the checklist he held. “SANSY IS KEEPING THEM OCCUPIED WITH HIS COMEDIC GENIUS, WHAT A SILLY GOOSE.”

  
  


You stretched your form slightly as the aching sensation in your back increased, being careful not to pull on the seams of your costume too much. You were nervous that it would break somehow. Yourself and Blue were far away from the commotion, sat on a bench beside the car park. You were both a little damp due to the snow, but it wasn’t all that big of an issue.

  
  


“ALL WE NEED NOW IS TO WAIT FOR SOME OF THE PAID ACTORS TO ARRIVE!” He vibrated happily, before turning towards you with a pleading gaze. “I CAN… TRUST YOU WITH SORTING OUT THE BOUNCY CASTLE, RIGHT?”

  
  


You paused for a moment. Was that all he wished to put on you? You assumed, considering the many jobs that he had instructed the others to accomplish, that you would be having to do some more physical labour than blowing up and watching over a simple bouncy castle. Well, at least you had more time to think to yourself, and less time for Edge and Black to be screaming at you for messing up on something. You assumed the reasoning behind it being your mangled hand.

  
  


“Yes.” You confirmed.

  
  


Blue blinked, his eye light glowing a brilliant shade of blue, “WOWZERS, THAT’S GREAT! IT’S FAIRLY SIMPLE TO SET UP. THE INSTRUCTIONS ARE VERY CLEAR, AND IF YOU NEED ANY HELP, EDGE IS FREE TO SPEAK TO. HE’LL BE HELPING WHENEVER POSSIBLE.”

  
  


The skeleton in question rounded the corner with a hostile expression printed across his skull. He stopped in his ministrations to stare at you both with a judgemental gaze, scoffing and sauntering off as soon as Blue had begun to dramatically wave him over. You were almost in stitches at the fact that he wore a princess costume, a shiny golden tiara and all.

  
  


Blue turned towards you with a gleeful expression, “IF YOU’RE WONDERING WHY HE’S DRESSED UP LIKE A PRINCESS, YOU’LL SEE! I’M SURE YOU’LL ENJOY THE SHOW THAT HE’LL PUT ON.”

  
  


Suddenly, he stood, dusting off his casual clothes. He wanted to wear the sort of outfit he wore every day, so the kids would be able to easily spot him. You stood also, expecting him to order you what to do next, only to completely still as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in for a warm hug.

  
  


“I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU.” Blue hummed, his skull nuzzled into the crook of your shoulder as he stood on his tippy-toes. “I HONESTLY DIDN’T EXPECT YOU TO COME, AND I’M SO SO VERY GLAD THAT YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO HELP OUT WITH THE CELEBRATIONS! CINNAMON WILL BE SO HAPPY!”

  
  


You were almost shocked at the genuine emotion presented in his voice, the force of his crushing embrace causing your breath to catch in your throat. If you were in any other situation, you would have pushed him away with a hateful glare, but Sans’ voice echoed in your mind. You had to be friendly. Be nice. Be nice.

  
  


“No… problem.” You expired, awkwardly patting his back while your expression held nothing more than pure displeasure.

  
  


He held onto you longer than expected, almost as if he was revelling in the warmth of your form, and as the seconds ticked by, the more you wanted to grind his bones into dust. Bitter. The taste in your mouth was bitter.

  
  


Thankfully, he pulled away, a cheeky, yet merry grin across his skull. “I’M GOING TO GO SEE WHETHER MY LAZY BROTHER HAS FINISHED SETTING OUT THE MINI CAKES. I’LL SEE YOU LATER, OKAY, MC?”

  
  


As he skipped away, you could feel a pull in your stomach. Some sort of pain, or cramp. You brushed it off.

  
  


“Bye.”

  
  


The instructions for the bouncy castle were fairly easy to decipher, although that was to be expected, with Blue’s multiple sticky notes plastered all across the mandate, each highlighting in detail (and in tiny handwriting) exactly what you should do, down to a t. He even added little doodles to go alongside each part. It was cute.

  
  


Finally, you had managed to set up the instrument, the power inflator turned on and blowing into the holes. At first, you were concerned about overfilling it with air or the possibility of popping it, but that thought was soon pushed away as you took note of not only the hardened material of said bouncy castle, but also the fact that small particles of air would be able to dissipate through the holes in the seams. That didn’t necessarily mean that it was fool-proof, you’d still need to take extra special care into how you went around handling it (and, of course, how you handled the mischievous children around it).

  
  


You were… inexperienced with children to say the least. At some point, a child with puffy red cheeks came up to you with a wide grin, telling you that you looked like an angel. It was awkward and made you feel uncomfortable, but Blue had laughed it off and pulled ‘Chara’ away from you to another location.

  
  


You were certain that at some point in life, you rather enjoyed being surrounded by children. Back then, you were fairly innocent and lively. You weren’t necessarily outgoing in any sense of the word, but you held a happy and cheerful aura around you that drew ankle biters to you like a moth to a flame. You would interact with them like one should, like they were people, unlike many, who seemed to treat them as if they knew naught. But now that you have grown out of such a childish and uneducated persona, you have now come to realise that you no longer knew how to interact with those younger than yourself. You had no idea how you were going to treat them all when they finally all arrived.

  
  


As you scanned the area, watching as Blue and Creampuff sat ‘Cinnamon’ down on his throne, of which the animal was less than accepting to stay put, you couldn’t help but feel like you were being harshly watched, almost as if every slight movement and flex of the wrist is being examined. The hair on the back of your neck stood up. You turned towards the source of the glare. It was Edge, stood straight behind you with his eye lights transfixed on your crouched form. You would have felt threatened, if it wasn’t for the pink frilly princess garb hewore; you tried to suppress the small twitch on your mouth, but it seemed Edge had caught wind of your silent mockery, as his fist audibly clenched. Bone against bone.

  
  


“Oh. Hello.” You greeted, before turning back towards the inflator cable that you were crouched next to, “I’ve almost finished over here. Not long until it’s fully pumped up.”

Edge stood stationary, crossing his arms and taking in your handiwork with an arbitrary gaze. You began to feel rather annoyed at his silence.

  
  


“Is there something you need?” You continued, standing up from your place.

  
  


As soon as you were fully aligned, Edge took a sudden step forward, and hooked his boot around the cable, pulling it out from the bouncy castle. You growled in frustration, tensing your form and snapping towards him as the air escaped the inflatable.

  
  


“Hey! What’s your problem?!” You barked.

  
  


Edge rounded his form towards you, before audibly cracking open his jaw, unloading his gunfire clamour, much to your dismay. Suddenly the princess dress wasn’t as amusing as it once was to you.

  
  


“I THOUGHT BABY BLUE FUCKING INSTRUCTED YOU ON HOW TO DO THIS RIGHT - IT ISN’T EVEN IN THE CORRECT PLACE, NOR HAVE YOU PROPERLY FENCED AWAY THE ANCHOR STAKES OR POWER INFLATOR! DO YOU WISH TO PLACE HARM UPON YOUNG CHILDREN?!” Edge roared, pointing out the flaws in your work.

  
  


You felt angry and insulted, but stood your ground and refused to step down to his level. You were better than him, and even if he was an absolute ass for treating you this way, you had to admit that he was correct. You were too preoccupied with your surroundings and stuck in your own head, that you failed to realise that you were unsuccessful in following the proper safety measures. If you hadn’t been warned sooner, children could’ve seriously been injured if you didn’t pay proper attention.

  
  


“No. I don’t.” You spoke through gritted teeth.

  
  


“THEN REDO IT ALL AGAIN! I WON’T TAKE YOUR PITIFUL EXCUSES ANY LONGER!” Edge huffed, before spinning on his heel to exit. “SPEAK TO ME WHEN YOU’VE BLOODY WELL DONE A GOOD JOB. YOU’RE FUCKING RETARDED IF YOU THINK THAT WHAT YOU’VE ACCOMPLISHED IS ACCEPTABLE.”

  
  


Rude.

  
  


\-----

  
  


The party had officially commenced soon after you had finished sorting out the inflatable bouncy castle. Luckily for you, there were games that came before free time, so you were able to relax and get yourself a drink at the bar and not overwork your damaged hand. You tried to ignore the pitiful looks from both human and monster parents, but it was a bit hard when all eyes were on you and your unique getup. At least the fire monster behind the counter seemed decent enough; he tried to strike up a small conversation with you, but soon became distracted when a human woman came and pulled him down for a kiss.

  
  


You were mildly confused at their romantic relations, considering the fact that Sans had told you that monsters could hold no such emotions towards those of your species, but tried to shake it off.

  
  


Soon enough, you had to return to the bouncy castle, as the final game of musical chairs had finished, meaning that kids were now able to wonder around without a care in the world. At one point, you had to direct a young girl in a pretty purple dress away from the anchor stakes while she was waiting for her friend to finish playing, as you were certain that she was about to stab her foot into it without realising. She had shied away and began crying.

  
  


It was awkward, but Black came over and pulled her away to another location to have some sunflower seed cake. Apparently, not only was it human and monster-friendly, but Cinnamon could have some as well. Blue was very ecstatic at that prospect, and kept on giving a spider lady named ‘Tuffet’ tonnes of hugs for baking the confectionery.

  
  


Sadly (or thankfully), your day had to be interrupted by a very heated discussion happening in the parking lot. You turned away from watching the kids beat up a Temmie-shaped pi ñ ata to see what exactly was going on, and sure enough, there seemed to be a very angry middle aged woman screaming in another human’s face in a vaguely threatening manner. For a while, you simply watched in slight amusement. It was just a petty argument, one of which you were sure was for no good reason. The human that was being screamed at seemed to be taking it like a champ, almost as if they had experienced such idiocy before. You weren’t surprised if they had.

  
  


It wasn’t until the woman began pushing the other forward did you decide it would be best to step in.

  
  


You called out to them to let them know you were coming over, and both heads jutted towards your form. Slowly, you walked across the grass field to reach the both of them, and instantly glanced between the two.

  
  


The lady was your typical middle aged american, slightly tanned skin with bleached blonde hair, styled in a pixie bob, with feather earrings dangling from her earlobes. Sunglasses were sat stationary on her head, and her expression held a hefty frown. While, the other person seemed to be just a normal looking person that you’d see walking down the street. Curly ginger hair with very light freckles across their skin, possibly from sun exposure, they wore vaguely revealing clothing, but it wasn’t anything indecent or inappropriate. It was just simply something you’d probably wear in summer rather than winter. 

  
  


“Excuse me, ma’am. Is there an issue here?” You questioned the lady, and she instantly perked up in triumph at the fact that you had turned to her first.

  
  


“Yes, there is!” She burst, her voice shrill. “This prostitute is handing out leaflets promoting their illegal line of work! It’s disgusting!”

  
  


That was new. Admittedly, you did see the retro-esque leaflets piled in the others’ arms, but you never would have expected it to be anything as such. You turned towards them for their side of the story, much to the argumentative womans’ dismay, and they sighed with a pleading expression across their face.

  
  


“I work at a strip club.” They admitted, shrugging, “Just a dancer, but I’ve been paid extra to hand these out in public areas.”

  
  


Ah, you understood now. It was simply just a misunderstanding, or perhaps even the lady was uneducated with that line of work. Strip clubs, and pole dancers, weren’t illegal in any sort, perhaps she came from somewhere where they were a lot more frowned upon. 

  
  


You straightened your spine and turned towards the woman, “With all due respect, ma’am, causing unnecessary arguments with someone who’s simply doing their job in front of a group full of children isn’t going to get you anywhere. Strip clubs, unless they advocate for sex work, aren’t illegal. You are harassing someone for no reason. I would like to formally ask you to leave the premises.”

  
  


For a moment, the woman paused, a flash of shock before her features, before she let out a monstrous snarl, one that you possibly would have expected from an animal, rather than a person.

  
  


“Do you work here?” She questioned, and you shook your head.

  
  


“Not at this location, no, but I am helping host a family member’s party.” You informed her, gesturing towards the celebration happening outside on the field.

  
  


“Then what gives you the right to kick me out?! I’m a paying customer!” She huffed, stomping her feet like an enraged horse, “Maybe if I speak to your manager, they’ll have a different opinion.”

  
  


With a slight twitch of irritation in your expression, you tried to stay calm. This woman was not understanding. If it wasn’t for the fact that the other in the argument happened to be watching peacefully with a pitying look towards you, you would have torn her a new one and told her to get the fuck off of the property.

  
  


“Once again, ma’am, I don’t work here. There is no manager to speak of.” You gestured around you, “And I agree, I have no right, but I do have the right to inform you that the way you are acting is completely inappropriate and downright childish. It would be best for you to leave, as many parents are beginning to suspect something awry in your behaviour. Believe me, you don’t want to cause even more of a situation that you already have.”

  
  


The woman paused as soon as she felt gazes on her. She turned. Both monster and human parents were watching the situation unfold with irritation in their eyes, sat on benches outside of the bar. After a rather awkward set of silence, she finally gritted her teeth and hurried off to her car, giving a hefty glare your way. Both you and the stranger watched as she drove off, before said stranger let a rather long sigh of relief.

  
  


They rubbed the back of their neck, smiling rather shyly.

  
  


“Thank you.” They acknowledged, “I’m Max! Sorry you had to deal with that.”

  
  


You shook your head, “Don’t apologise. I’ve learnt to handle it.”

  
  


“I-I’m surprised that she left so soon! Usually Karens like them don’t back down… you know?” Max stuttered, very obviously trying to keep up some sort of civil, perhaps even amusing, conversation with you.

  
  


You furrowed your brows in confusion - what was wrong with people called Karen? Was it that lady’s name? You assumed so.

  
  


“Karens?” You repeated.

  
  


Max blinked in slight shock at your lack of knowledge towards what they meant, before they nervously looked away. It seemed as if they expected you to chuckle from their joke, but you were still rather puzzled as to why someone would make a joke out of a perfectly normal name. Nevertheless, you shifted your weight onto another leg, and crossed your arms. You felt rather silly trying to seem all serious with this clown makeup on.

  
  


“I’m going to have to ask you to leave also. We don’t want to subject children to anything sexual in nature, I hope you understand.” You informed Max, and their eyes lit up in acceptance.

  
  


“Oh, it’s okay.” They chuckled, before passing one of their pamphlets to you. “Well, I better go. Oh, take this!”

  
  


It held an excessive amount of barely-clothed monsters and humans, sizes, appearance and gender all varied. It seemed as if it was a rather wealthy and formidable strip club, if the diverse employees were anything to go off of. Neon colours and bright lights filled the print, and if it wasn’t for the darker, more subdued clothing of the medium purple fire monster smack-dab in the middle, you would most likely have felt it to be too much. “Chillby’s Striptease”. You’ll remember that.

  
  


“I work on weekends.” Max gigged at your stupefied face, “See ya, miss saviour.”

  
  


With a wink and a wave, they were off, jogging down the road to find a more suitable place to hand out their leaflets. You were in absolute awe at that interaction. Did you just low-key get hit on by a stripper after arguing with a middle aged lady in a clown costume? That’s something to tell the Grandkids.

  
  


You tried to suppress the small snort that escaped you, crumpling up the leaflet in your hands and shoving it in your giant clown pockets to throw away later. But as you turned back towards the party, you felt your soul drop.

  
  


You shouldn’t have left the kids alone.

  
  


\-----

  
  


The car ride home was unbearable. Blue had refused to interact with you whatsoever, and looked absolutely distraught. Not only were Black and Edge death glaring at every single move you made, but Stretch seemed to have an incredibly disappointed look across his face.

  
  


During your conversation with Karen, one of the children on the bouncy castle had managed to slip when trying to get off, and broke their leg at the impact. They were in absolute agony, and they had to be rushed off for medical attention. Creampuff and Vanilla had explained to you that it wasn’t your fault, but as you watched Blue shakily interact with parents, you knew that what happened could have been avoided if it wasn’t for your lack of care towards your job. You fucked up, big time.

  
  


Edge was incredibly snappy with you at dinner, and while Black seemed to have calmed down, he was still rather rude towards your person. Cash had snickered at every jab made at you with a malicious look in his sockets, he seemed to be after you alongside Red after the stunt you pulled the other day. It wasn’t pleasant, and it seemed as if every time you spoke up, the tension grew thicker and thicker with each syllable.

  
  


In the end, you decided it would be best just to head off to bed. To avoid unnecessary arguments.

  
  


As soon as you finally finished readying yourself for bed in the bathroom, you opened the door to reveal Blue waiting to enter. He paused momentarily, as he most likely assumed you to use the upstairs bathroom to ready yourself, as it was closer to your bedroom, but soon brushed it off, and pushed past you with a pained yet sturdy expression. He said nothing.

  
  


“Blue.” You started, and he tutted at your tone.

  
  
  


“I- I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.” He admitted, squeezing out a large amount of toothpaste onto his toothbrush. “I’M REALLY UPSET WITH YOU RIGHT NOW… NO, NO, I’M REALLY ANGRY!”

  
  


You closed the bathroom door behind you, and tried not to flinch as he began brushing his skull with the pearly substance, lathering up foam upon each and every crevasse. You simply let him rant out his frustrations.

  
  


“I WORKED SO HARD TO MAKE THIS A NICE BIRTHDAY FOR CINNAMON, AND TO HAVE A FUN TIME WITH THE KIDS, AND YOUR ONLY JOB WAS TO WATCH OVER THE BOUNCY CASTLE TO MAKE SURE NO ONE GETS HURT - AND WHAT HAPPENS?” He choked out, expression pained as he refused to look you in the face. “I FIND OUT THAT ONE OF THE CHILDREN HAS BROKEN AN ARM AND POSSIBLY EVEN DAMAGED THEIR SKULL SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO PREOCCUPIED WITH INTERACTING WITH A PERSON THAT DOESN’T DESERVE YOUR TIME!”

  
  


You watched awkwardly as he paused in his insistent brushing to slam his hand down on the sink, gripping it tightly, his expression pained.

  
  


“AND I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’D FEEL SO COMPELLED TO HELP THAT POOR HUMAN, BUT YOU COULD’VE CALLED EDGE OVER SO YOU COULD SORT IT OUT WHILE HE WATCHES OVER THE BOUNCY CASTLE, BUT INSTEAD YOU WERE TOO STUCK IN YOUR PRIDE AND YOUR OLD WAYS TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT! THIS HAS COST ME, MC, I PROBABLY WON’T BE ABLE TO PLAN SOMETHING SO LARGE AGAIN SIMPLY BECAUSE OF YOU. I CAN’T -” Blue cut himself out with a hiccup, which soon melted into a full blown sob.

  
  


He caved in on himself and curled into a ball, leaning against the bath. With his skull covered with his hands, you couldn’t see much of his facial appearance, but by the movement of his form, you could tell that he was trying not to cry.

  
  


Finally, he pulled his hands away from his face, revealing a flushed skull of blue, tears streaming down from his skull.

  
  


“THE ADULTS DON'T TRUST ME WITH THEIR KIDS ANYMORE. I LOVE KIDS. I WANT TO BE A SAFESPACE FOR THEM, SOMEONE THEY CAN COME TO FOR HELP BUT ALSO SOMEONE THEY CAN HAVE FUN WITH. I DON’T WANT THEM TO FEEL AFRAID TO INTERACT WITH ME NOW THAT ONE OF THEIR FRIENDS HAS BEEN HURT.” Blue whimpered, “I’M SCARED.”

  
  


Logically speaking, you shouldn’t feel much for such a weak display, and you don’t. There only happened to be a slight slither of pity in your soul, something you felt quite often when slaughtering the weaker criminals in the underground. He was like a cold, wet kitten, shivering and shaking in the corner, crying out for help to a creature of which most likely would be able to snap his neck in seconds. You felt no guilt at his tears, only disappointment that he would have the gall to cry in front of you. His happy personality was slipping.

  
  


You wondered what his face would be like when you eventually killed him. Would he look betrayed? Saddened? Fear would be inevitable, he was far too fragile in his state of mind to even consider being tough when faced with the prospect of death. You were intrigued to find out.

  
  


“I’m sorry.” You lied.

  
  


“YOU’RE NOT THOUGH, ARE YOU? YOU’RE REALLY NOT.” Blue blubbered, glancing away from your form. “I GET THAT YOU’VE COME FROM A BAD PLACE, AND THAT YOUR JUSTICE SOUL MAKES IT SO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO INTERFERE IN ANYTHING UNFAIR OR PREJUDICED, BUT YOU COULD AT LEAST SPARE ME FROM THE HALF-HEARTED APOLOGIES.”

  
  


You grew silent at his words, mulling them over. He was correct. Your background and soul trait had pushed you towards certain aspects in life. You were justful, yet not completely so. Your idea of basic morals had been warped, changed, as lashing upon lashing against your once bright and colourful soul forced you to become the corrupt human you were now. You were certain that your past self would have been absolutely disgusted with your horrendous actions. You were a murderer, a filthy piece of dirt on the planet’s crust. And yet, even with that knowledge, you felt no remorse.

  
  


Should you feel remorse? Theoretically, yes. Humans were a naturally emotional and impactful species. They thrive on positive attention towards oneself and towards others. You began to feel guilty, for not feeling guilt. It was strange how the brain worked. How it processed details and aspects of life. Perhaps, in another life, you were still a good person, looking after the neighbours kids, feeding homeless dogs, making friends — 

  
  


Sam.

  
  


That name sounded familiar, yet, not a trace of memory towards such a title was stored away in your mind. An old friend, perhaps? You didn’t remember. In fact, it seemed like you didn’t remember much from your past other than the core basics.

  
  


“IS THERE ANY REASON WHY YOU COULDN’T GO TO EDGE?” Blue pressed, and you snapped your gaze towards him.

  
  


“Edge is… an insufferable person.” You admitted, albeit rather awkwardly. “I do not feel comfortable interacting with someone like him.”

  
  


“I SEE.”

  
  


Silence came upon you both, and for a second, you could practically hear your heart beating in your chest. Fast palpitations, blood and oxygen being transferred around the body. Blue stood, you watched.

  
  


“I- I SHOULDN’T HAVE SHOUTED AT YOU LIKE THAT.” He mumbled, fiddling with his phalanges.

  
  


You agreed with him.

  
  


“I GOT TOO WORKED UP, I’M SORRY FOR THAT. BUT,” he positioned his hand in a pointing motion. “MY POINT STILL STANDS.”

You tensed as he reached out to take a hold of your hands, lightly rubbing his thumb against your knuckles to soothe you. He looked genuinely worried for you, almost as if he knew that you weren’t feeling much after this experience.

  
  


“I DON’T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE I CAN’T TRUST. PLEASE, NEXT TIME, IF THERE IS ONE, TRY TO TALK WITH OTHERS. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE EDGE, OR MYSELF, BUT PLEASE, UNDERSTAND THAT COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT.” Blue informed you, “ESPECIALLY WHEN ANOTHER'S' WELL-BEING IS ON THE LINE.”

  
  


It wasn’t a suggestion, he was telling you to do so. In that sense, he sort of reminded you of Sans; it would make sense, considering he was a kinder and much weaker version of your captain. Mild, soft spoken words when concerning topics came up. Speaking to you slowly and simply to make sure you understood his point. You respected him for his ability to stay calm during stressful times.

  
  


But Blue was not Sans. Admittedly, he had similar attributes, but Blue was much more… compassionate. Understanding. If you messed up like this when being given an order from your captain, he would not be treating you as such, he would be shouting, screaming, would possibly even put you back into your old training regime. You didn’t want that. Blue was being generous, incredibly so.

  
  


“Of course.” You hummed, and Blue lightly squeezed your hands in response.

  
  


He released his grip on your hands, letting them fall back to your sides, “I’LL… TALK TO YOU TOMORROW, MC. GOOD NIGHT.”

  
  


As he exited the bathroom, you waited a few moments, staring at the space where he once stood. Blue was not Sans. Cash was not Papyrus. Everyone was different, nobody was the same. For only a second, did you consider the idea of treating Blue genuinely, but that thought quickly left your mind. Not yet. You didn’t know him yet. 

  
  


You could still feel the phantom touch of his hands wrapping around your own. Gentle. Soothing. Full of care. Was this what monsters were truly meant to be like? - Kind?

  
  


“Good night, Blue.”

  
  


You couldn’t sleep. You felt pain in your lower abdomen, and you knew what it was. Sadly, your uterus lining had thickened, and reached the time of which you would begin the shedding. Of course, you hadn’t been able to conceive, considering you hadn’t slept with anyone recently, so you should’ve expected it, especially after the pain that happened early in the morning, but it seemed as if your mind had been so busy lately that you weren’t able to keep track of something as simple as your period.

  
  


Luckily, when you went shopping, you managed to acquire your basic period needs when Creampuff wasn’t looking. They were hidden away in the downstairs bathroom; why you didn’t decide to put it in the bathroom on your floor, you had no clue. Perhaps you were so afraid of getting caught by that red-eyed freak next door that you hadn’t even thought about passing it.

  
  


Quietly, you scampered out of your bedroom and tiptoed down the two flights of stairs to reach the bottom floor. The lights were out and you could barely see the outline of different furniture and items. After feeling around on the bathroom wall for a while, you finally managed to find the switch, illuminating the area around you and causing you to squint and cover your eyes at the sudden brightness. 

  
  


After cleaning up the blood staining your thighs and pyjamas, you used your menstrual appliance, trying to make yourself feel more comfortable at the foreign feeling. You wondered if the household held any pain medication you could take - and if they were, would they be acceptable for menstrual needs? You hoped so. Most homes held paracetamol or ibuprofen, you never used anything else back up top. In the underground, every time your period (or “heat cycle”, as many monsters referred to it) came around, Undyne would prescribe you with something to help reduce pain and increase the blood flow. You’d be given two or three days off to stay in the lab and wait for the blood to stop, so you could return to your normal duties as soon as possible.

  
  


Monsters would always be extra fidgety around you during those times, possibly due to the connotations of your period and the basic similarities between the menstrual and heat cycle. You gave up explaining why you bled from your genitalia a while back, and simply let them assume that you were in some sort of human heat.

  
  


You decided it would be best to check the kitchen, and if things got worse, you could always wake up Creampuff to help you. You knew that he was probably awake anyways, if the music from his bedroom was anything to go off by (it seemed as if all Papyrus’ stayed awoke, even at such idiotic hours like 2AM). But as you left the bathroom, you paused, heart beat beginning to increase.

  
  


There was a largely humanoid creature crawling through the living room, it’s back hunched and prowling as if it was a predator searching for its prey. Each step was like a needle dropping, hammering against your heart at the fact that it could maneuver itself with little to no sound. It snapped it’s skull towards you with an audible crack, and you gaped at the glowing red lights that gazed into your very soul. A sharp grin escaped its features, and you took a step back as soon as it began moving it’s raptorial body towards you.

  
  


“OH, HELLO!” The voice was loud, scratchy, broken at parts for what you assumed to be lack of use.

  
  


As it creeped towards you, you couldn’t help but notice it’s claws were as fierce as daggers, feet malformed into acute points. The look in it’s sockets held nothing but voracious interest towards your being, and you could see into it’s past - full of blood, gore and slaughter. The unjust murder and consumption of both innocent monsters and humans. The heinous acts it had committed with a vulturous smile across its face. You felt bile in the back of your throat, you rushed to cover up your mouth as the monster reached its gloved hand out towards you, gripping your shoulder. Memories of Cash and Papyrus rushed back to you. You were going to throw up.

  
  


“ARE YOU ONE OF THE NEW SKELETONS THAT TINY ME HAS BEEN TELLING ME ABOUT?” It questioned, tilting its head near the nape of your neck and pulling you closer. “YOU SMELL… LIKE BLOOD.”

  
  


You were going to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MC is learning more about Blue and how to act around him!! Progress!! Not much but still a little.
> 
> Also I’m low-key excited to write for bloody undertomb paps because he’s like my favourite boyo 😌❤️
> 
> FANART!: https://missbiter.tumblr.com/post/624778105711673344/berryberryberryanddeath-i-drew-missbiters-mc


	10. Long Legged Skeleton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC has a conversation with Spooky.

“AND THEN SANS SAID ‘I DIDN’T DO IT, BRO, I PROMISE’, AS IF I WAS GOING TO BELIEVE THAT!”

  
  


_ What was this? _

  
  


“I MEAN, THE EVIDENCE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! IT’S ALMOST AS IF HE THOUGHT I WAS OBLIVIOUS OR SOMETHING!”

  
  


_ Why am I here? _

  
  


“ADMITTEDLY, I MAY BE RATHER VISUALLY IMPAIRED, BUT I’M NOT BLIND, YOU KNOW! IT SEEMS AS IF HE’S FORGETTING THAT WAY TOO OFTEN RECENTLY…”

  
  


_ How do I get out of this? _

  
  


“EXCUSE ME FOR MAKING BRASH ASSUMPTIONS, BUT YOU ARE LISTENING, STRANGE SKELETON , CORRECT?”

  
  


You snapped out of your fearful stupor, adrenaline coursing through your veins. The skeleton who clutched onto your shoulders craned his neck down to get a better look at your smaller form hunched on his lap. You shivered, you did not want to be hung, drawn and quartered so early on in life.

  
  


“Oh, yes, um, I am.” You mustered out, trying to avoid catching his eye.

  
  


In response, the skeleton, of which you had come to know as ‘Spooky’, vibrated in excitement, his brittle bones rattling. The sound could have been described as melodic, perhaps even rather cute, if it hadn’t came from the eight foot tall predator that had trapped you in some sort of bodily cage.

  
  


You were nervous — no, scared should be a better way to put it. Your pride refused to accept that you were fearful of such an idiotic monster, as his demeanor had been nothing but ‘friendly’ since he had first caught sight of yet. Yet, you knew that it was wise of you to be so hesitant. The way he moved was erratic, doll-like, as if his limbs were connected by ball joins, swerving in every which direction without pain or any sort of discomfort. When he clambered, his torso hung close to the floor, mobility slow and calculated, in spite of, you had the feeling that he could go rather fast with those long legs of his.

  
  


His jaw held nothing but stained rows of choppers, sharpened to a point in which you were certain even the gentlest of bites would cause immense damage. They seemed to be angled oddly, and for a second, your mind flipped back to when you were much younger, when you were taken to the doctors for an injection. The syringe, you remember the nurse telling you, could be angled at a certain degree to allow the needle to pierce the skin much easier. Whereas, if someone were to try to inoculate you by attempting to use it the wrong way, there would be a lot more bruising and pain.

  
  


Those teeth, they reminded you of needles. Angled one way, and there would be a better chance of survival, yet, angled another, and your arm could easily be ripped off.

  
  


“GOOD! NOW, BACK TO MY BROTHER. HE—“ 

  
  


Spooky’s breath smelt of rotten flesh. You physically tried not to gag, but the stench of decaying meat was too powerful for your sensitive senses to handle, you were going to throw up. Not only that, but you still haven’t managed to acquire the medicine to help soothe your period pains. You could use that fact to your advantage.

  
  


“I need to get something.”

  
  


The skeleton’s form tensed over you, his arms wrapping tighter around your stomach. You tried to hold down the bile in the back of your throat, but it was getting harder to hold back as the pressure against your stomach continued.

  
  


“From the kitchen.” You clarified, breathlessly, “It’s important…”

  
  


“ARE YOU HUNGRY? I THOUGHT YOU ATE RECENTLY.” Spooky questioned in a rather confused tone.

  
  


You couldn’t help but wonder where he got that from — but then you realised. The blood. He must have thought you smelt of blood because you had just ate. That thought disgusted you.

  
  


“No, I’m not… hungry. I just need to get some medicine.” Quietly, you murmured; the pressure on your stomach decreased, Spooky started becoming lax against you once more.

  
  


“MEDICINE?”

  
  


“Yes. Medicine.”

  
  


A couple moments of silence came upon you both, and you thought of simply escaping right then and there, but that option soon became obsolete when Spooky spoke up once more, his skull tilted. His head was still craning down to look at you directly.

  
  


“ISN’T MEDICINE THAT STRANGE LIQUID THAT HUMANS SOMETIMES CARRY AROUND WITH? I TRIED IT ONCE AND IT STUNG ON MY TONGUE.” You assumed that to be a joke at first, but due to the humourless, and rather dry, tone he spoke in, you wracked your head for a reply.

  
  


He still thought you were a skeleton; he didn’t know that you were human.

  
  


“Yeah, uh, I really need it.” Was all you could muster.

  
  


Inwardly, you slapped yourself. What sort of idiot replies with such hesitance in their tone? You felt like one of those gullible bunny guards.

  
  


“Can I… go get some?” You continued, hopefully.

  
  


Spooky was silent, considering his options. He knew that you were afraid, and the way he held onto you wasn’t helping this fact, but it was the only way he could think of during contact that would limit your chances of running away. All of the other skeletons didn’t like him — well, he wouldn’t say that. They were simply hesitant to interact with him, most likely due to his admittedly rather violent and crude brother than anything else. He only really interacted with his original counterpart, and sometimes Blue on occasion. Vanilla and Stretch were nice to him, they treated him like everyone else, but Spooky felt as if they didn’t have the compatibility to become proper friends. All Spooky relied on in this day and age are friends.

  
  


But you were new. Admittedly, he thought the same when the fame brothers arrived, but after many interactions gone incredibly wrong, one of which Axe had tried to smash his skull in, he deduced that they were not all there in the head and thus did not want to befriend them. You seemed different somehow. You weren’t a Sans or Papyrus that he knew of, and his sweeter twin had mentioned to Spooky that you seemed to be uncharacteristically close to what he presumed to be your brothers. This was a new opportunity, a chance to change his current daily life in this world. He did not want to lose this odd squishy skeleton because of his predatory instincts.

  
  


Even so, he did not want you to escape. For whatever reason you needed this ‘medicine’, he knew that you could possibly escape with whatever option he chose. But denying your request would be out of the question, he wasn’t rude after all — well, yes he is, but that’s besides the point.

  
  


“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD REQUEST FOR SUCH A THING, BUT YES, I WILL GET IT FOR YOU.” He decided, slowly shifting his grasp from around your stomach, the talons of his gloves scraping away at your sides; you shuddered.

  
  


He slid your form onto the sofa, and you gulped as his elongated limbs twisted and turned in a way that you would deem physically impossible. But with these skeletons, you knew that general knowledge of anatomy would be thrown out of the window. After all, they shouldn’t be able to move at all, considering their lack of muscle structure and brain. 

  
  


Moments after your thoughts began to turn bitter, and the remembrance that you did not tell him what you needed came back, Spooky sauntered back into the living room, holding a kettle in his jaw. Your face scrunched up as he spat it out onto the floor before you, the water within sloshing around as the metal pot clattered. You stared at it for a second, confused. What would you need hot water for? 

  
  


“HERE IS YOUR ‘MEDICINE’.” Said Spooky, his tone resembling some sort of pride.

  
  


You blinked, before frowning, turning your gaze up towards the slouched skeleton; “That’s… kettle water.”

  
  


Spooky reacted almost as if he was surprised, physically recoiling back, “THIS IS WATER? BUT IT BURNS?? WATER DOESN’T BURN??? YOU DRINK BURNING WATER????”

  
  


For a second you considered telling him that if you heat up water, it will burn you at contact, but decided against it.

  
  


“How about I get it instead?” You offered hopefully, but was immediately rejected at such a horrific proposal.

  
  


“NONSENSE, STRANGE SKELETON, YOU’RE SO TINY, I BET YOU COULDN’T EVEN REACH THE COUNTER.” You tried to hide the hatred burning in your chest. “NOW, DESCRIBE THIS ‘MEDICINE’ TO ME, AS WE SEEM TO HAVE MISCOMMUNICATED DURING OUR CONVERSATION.”

  
  


You thought for a moment, glancing towards the entryway closest to you, before turning back to the monster crouched before you. You couldn’t risk running off while he was distracted, something about the way he stared at you made you believe that he knew what you were thinking.

  
  


“It’s… probably in one of the cupboards, in a plastic bottle. Or maybe even a box. It’ll probably have the word ‘ibuprofen’ or ‘paracetamol’ on it… either one works.” You respond, before pausing, “You can read… right…?”

  
  


Spooky scoffed, “OF COURSE I CAN! WHO CAN’T?”

  
  


“Right. Uh.” You turned away awkwardly, “That’s it.”

  
  


Spooky scuttled off, kettle in jaw, while you stared at his barely visible form through the thick shadows. It was so late, you were tired, and just wanted to sleep. Not to mention the pulling pain in your abdomen had begun to increase tenfold at this point. You just hoped that Spooky would be able to find something you could make use of, although you doubted it, considering they were human medicine. Monsters don’t get sick unless they are… ‘falling down’, per say, so it would be no shock if they didn’t have any sort of medicinal substances at all.

  
  


Thankfully, you were able to receive your answer rather soon, as Spooky came scuttling towards you with a bottle in his maw. Your eyes lit up in relief, before they dilated as the skeleton gripped your cheeks, pulling you closer.

  
  


“OPEN WIDE!” He cheered, angling the opened bottle near your fish lips.

  
  


“No, no, no, no!” You panicked, snatching his wrist and pushing his hand back; “I’m meant to only have two every four hours.”

  
  


After a moment of tense silence, you gulped, “It could kill me.”

  
  


Spooky pulled his limp hand away from your form, before tilting his head incredulously. His movements were like that of a puppet.

“WHY DO YOU WANT TO CONSUME SOMETHING THAT COULD DUST YOU? DO YOU HAVE ANY SORT OF INTELLIGENCE AT ALL IN THAT SKULL?” He questioned, and for a second did you pause.

  
  


“You eat humans. Humans could kill you.”

  
  


“HUMANS HAVE MUSHY LITTLE INSIDES THAT I CAN TEAR APART IN SECONDS, AND BONES THAT SNAP IN AN INSTANT. I DOUBT THEY COULD DO MUCH TO ME.” — you tried to ignore the visual that came into your head at such a sentence.

  
  


Spooky set down the bottle on the table before you, before climbing up onto the sofa opposite. Like a crab. You scraped two out of the container, before swallowing them dry. You noted how you probably should have asked for water alongside, as you could feel the pills in your throat, but what was done was done.

  
  


“WHAT IS YOUR UNIVERSE LIKE, STRANGE SKELETON?” Spooky mused, leaning his chest against the sofa cushions.

  
  


You glanced towards him skeptically, and he clarified cheerfully, “YOUR UNIVERSE. I WANT TO SEE IF IT WAS SIMILAR.”

  
  


“Well, back where I come from, everything is a lot darker than here. A lot more… refined, as well. Everyone acts respectfully, to a point. I guess.” You mused, “I don’t like it here.”

  
  


Spooky thought for a moment, before speaking, “I THINK THIS PLACE IS NICE.”

  
  


You glanced over at him, silently questioning his reasonings for such a statement. You, personally, would have thought else.

  
  


“MY TWIN GIVES ME FOOD, I DON’T HAVE TO HUNT, EVERYTHING IS BRIGHT, AND THERE AREN’T THOSE ROTTEN FLESH BAGS.” He tugged at the collar of his black pumpkin shirt, “I ALSO GET TO WEAR NEW CLOTHES.”

  
  


That was an acceptable answer, you supposed. It made sense to a point, but you were still rather puzzled by ‘those rotten flesh bags’ — zombies, perhaps? If that were the case, you felt bad for the humans residing in his universe. Both monsters and zombies… unless there were some sort of badass resistance, you highly suspected them to be easy targets.

  
  


“BUT I’M STILL SO CONFUSED BY SOME THINGS.” Spooky murmured, and you snapped your attention back to him.

  
  


“ELECTRICITY MAINLY. SANS DOESN’T LIKE THE LIGHTS BEING DOWNSTAIRS, SO IT’S ALWAYS DARK. MY TWIN MENTIONED GETTING A LAMP, BUT SANS WAS REALLY RUDE AND MADE HIM REALLY UPSET. WE NEVER GOT ONE.” He sighed lowly, “I WANTED TO PLAY AROUND WITH THE THIN BOX ON THE WALL, BUT I ENDED UP BREAKING IT AND GOT IN BIG TROUBLE.”

  
  


You tried to imagine someone like Creampuff getting genuinely upset, but was unable to picture it. You assumed Edge to be the one handing out the punishment, perhaps even Black (although, he seemed to be the sort to lash out harshly unbridled discipline in the form of physical violence than psychological forfeiture).

  
  


“I’M NOT ALLOWED OUT OF THE BASEMENT FOR A COUPLE MORE DAYS BECAUSE OF IT. NOT THAT IT MATTERS MUCH, I CAN SNEAK OUT AT NIGHT. NOBODY IS AWAKE AT THIS TIME, EXCEPT MAYBE FOR MY RUDE, RED TWIN.” Spooky lowered his head onto the sofa arm, “I WANT TO GO INTO TOWN.”

  
  


He turned towards you with a somewhat tense grin across his features, you averted your eyes. “WHAT DID YOU DO?”

  
  


“Nothing.” You answered simply, causing Spooky to raise his bone brows in question.

  
  


“NOTHING?” He repeated in slight shock.

  
  


You didn’t want to tell him that your body had woken yourself up when you started your period, so decided to tell a little white lie.

  
  


“I just wanted something to drink.”

  
  


Spooky stayed quiet for a moment, watching your form from across the table. His sight was somewhat fuzzy, but he could tell that you were still somewhat uncomfortable under his gaze. He didn’t like that.

  
  


“LET’S GO INTO TOWN TOGETHER ONE DAY.” He offered giddily, watching for any sort of physical reaction.

  
  


You tensed momentarily, before replying in a somewhat hesitant tone, “Alright.”

  
  


For several minutes, you reveled in the silence that came upon you both, thinking over the conversation you had just partaken in. So Spooky was banned from coming out during the day, that would make sense as to why you hadn’t seen him since you had been here. He definitely seemed like the sort of monster to be around others when possible, the solitary would be unlike him.

  
  


What concerned you, though, was his brother. A Sans.

  
  


Vanilla had warned you about the tomb brothers, and while he never mentioned any one of them specifically, you had the feeling that the warning was mainly aimed at his counterpart. You remembered his name from the star chart — it was either Axe or Teddy, and considering Spooky and Teddy’s names were listed together, you assumed it to be the latter. Was he dangerous? You definitely knew that Spooky was, as he had graphically detailed the sort of methods he would use to slowly, yet painfully, kill a human while still living and screaming. If he were to find out that you were a human and not just a squishy skeleton, then that would definitely be bad news for you.

  
  


Spooky held Teddy in high regards, telling tales about how he tore a monster in half with just a swift pull and how he had helped him skin some humans to make into new furniture, etc. Whether or not Teddy would be hostile if he met you was up for questioning, but it was very likely that he would try to trick you into believing you were safe, and killing you soon after.

  
  


Your breath caught in your throat when you heard a small clang coming from the kitchen, and it seemed that Spooky heard it too as he instantly sprang up from his lying positional stare straight at the doorway.

  
  


“SHIT.” He cursed.

  
  


He clambered from the sofa, swiftly crawling through the darkness to the basement hatch. And he was gone, the light scattering of his needle-thin limbs disappeared along with the heavy wind in the background. You couldn’t help but wonder when you would see him next, but you assumed it to be at least in a couple days time. God knows that you won’t be coming down late at night again.

  
  


“spooky...?” A concerned voice came from the dining room, and you snapped your head around to the perpetrator.

  
  


It was Vanilla, chip packet in hand. You had to repress the urge to snort at his purple dinosaur onesie; he looked like a fucking idiot.

  
  


“oh.” He instantly relaxed his form, leaning against the door frame with a lazy grin, “come for a late night snack as well? can’t say I blame ya.”

  
  


You sneered at his attitude, grabbing the pill bottle on the table and pushing yourself up from your seat. Vanilla’s eye lights followed your form as you strode on up to stand in front of him.

  
  


“night nibbles is a sickness i’ve never been able to shake off. guess that’s pretty obvious tho, lookin’ at my tum.” Vanilla chuckled, before he caught your eyes directly, “hey though, you okay…?”

  
  


Raising a brow in slight confusion, you wondered if he knew that Spooky was here or not.

  
  


“i smell blood.” He clarified after a moment, a tense expression across his skull.

  
  


You tighten, heat rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment at his ignorant yet fairly innocent question.

  
  


Vanilla, noting your sudden change in demeanor, continued, “you aren’t hurt or anything, right?” 

  
  


“How shameless…” You scoffed, turning away from him to head towards the staircase with a purposeful pep in your step.

  
  


“not gonna even say good night?” Vanilla questioned out in a joking tone, relaxed now that he’d recognized that it was nothing too serious.

  
  


“No.” You replied sourly, gripping onto the handrail with an audible clank.

  
  


Vanilla chuckled at your obvious shame, before a flash of remembrance came upon him. He quickly searched his onesie pockets, ignoring the squishy liquid sensation and picking through the multiple scrap packaging. He gripped onto the base gently before pulling it out — it was a cute little flip phone, dolled up with multiple chains and accessories. It used to be Alphys’ apparently, one of the first surface phones she bought (“just like in the anime!” she said, then soon regretted her decisions when she found out that she was unable to play “Mew Mew Kissy Cutie: Love Life Adventure 3” on it).

  
  


Stretch and Vanilla had been upgrading it so it can be used similar to that of your modern day cell phone. So far, only you and Sans had been given phones for communication and average use. They hadn’t been able to find anyone willing to give away a usable phone for Papyrus, so he has to wait a while until monthly payments come in. 

  
  


“oh, and, uh, kid?” Vanilla called out.

  
  


You turned to look back down at him from the top of the stairs, an apprehensive expression across his face, “What is it, Vanilla?”

  
  


“here’s somethin for your troubles.” He grinned, using his magic to float over the object.

  
  


You caught it in your hands and began to inspect it, your face scrunching up at the sight. It was disgustingly cute. Deep down, you knew that it was something you would have been rather happy to have been given back when you were younger — but now? It was almost mocking.

  
  


“heh. you look like you’ve never seen a cell phone before in your life.” Vanilla chuckled lowly.

  
  


You shook your head, “It’s just… different than what I’ve seen. Thank you.”

  
  


When you returned to your bedroom, you decided that you really weren’t as tired as you originally thought you were — must have gone past your current threshold. You lied in bed for a while, simply staring at the ceiling. Your lower abdomen ached and throbbed, but it wasn’t the same painful pulling sensation from before. The medicine must have begun to kick in.

  
  


Although you were slowly beginning to fall asleep, you were suddenly snapped back to reality when your new phone started beeping in your grasp. You flipped it open, and began to read the message displayed on the screen. 

  
  


It read:  _ “dont b 🐝 2 hard 🥴 on bby 🔵 blue 🙅♂️lil bit mesed ^ in da hed 🧠got 2 hi acceptashions 4 himself 🤢n others ☠️u couldnt hv helped wha happnd👌 ✨✨✨✨✨”  _

  
  


You felt sick, reading such an absurd text message. It took you awhile to figure out what exactly he was trying to say, but after you had done so, your phone lit up once again to signal another coming in.

  
  


_ “has a weird thing w/ da idea 🧠 of havin kids🤱 or lukin after em @ least mustve gotten it frm raisin his lil bro☠️☠️☠️☠️🤭” _

  
  


You weren’t upset with Blue, nor did you have any specific thoughts on him. It was odd that Vanilla would speak to you in such a manner, you never would have expected him to be bothered to get into such conversations, but you guess that a Sans is always a Sans; even your captain still happens to surprise you till this very day.

  
  


_ “glad i nvr turned out lk dat tho dis bag of bones 🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴 iz way 2 lazy 4 ne sorta bonedogglin😹🤪😂🤣🤓😫” _

  
  


Wow, if you didn’t already have negative opinions on Vanilla beforehand, you definitely would now.

  
  


_ “I’ll keep what you said in mind. Good night, Vanilla.” _

  
  


You turned off notifications as soon as you pressed send. Admittedly the phone was rather hard to navigate, but that was to be expected considering it seemed to be some sort of upgrade from what was once a boring old nokia. At least it had the internet on it, so you’d be able to do basic research on certain topics without suspicion. The same goes for any sort of personal questions. That is, if the rest of the household kept their dirty phalanges off it, something that you hoped they would.

  
  


Tomorrow you were going to get the hang of this new phone, was what you told yourself. And as your eyes fluttered closed, you could faintly see light coming from your doorway.

**Author's Note:**

> Join the server!: https://discord.gg/wPkSXRc
> 
> Follow my Tumblr!: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/missbiter I answer questions, post art for the story, and basically do whatever I'm feeling like lol!
> 
> Credit goes to their respective owners, but extra credit to CrabbyMaiden, Glitterbug, Mod Addy (part of the Undertomb team on Tumblr), and Jacketbones and bonetrousledprompts on Tumblr, who has allowed me to use their prompts and ideas in this story.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I'm the Bad Guy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24848347) by [RandomlySane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomlySane/pseuds/RandomlySane)




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